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Holidays suck


Proverbs31:28
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Yeah, these holidays aren't going to be to great for me either. I'm moving back to my home town because I just realized that i don't like it in this dent-in-the-wall of a town... plus, by the time Christmas comes by I have to say goodbye to the love of my life so she can pursue her dreams with out me. I'm about to lose the only form of emotional support in my life, and I will have to learn to be self sufficient with those problems again...

Tis the season.

- Anonymous.

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I live 1800 miles away from my "family". So I have hated the holidays for years. I went to Walmaer the other day and they were already playing Christmas Music. I thought I would scream. So the radio will be turned off and I will be watching a lot less TV.

It is just me and my husband now and I always cook a holiday meal. But I may not even to that this year... May go to Taco Bell!!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

2 weeks ago I suffered a major heart attack. This is my 7th heart attack in one year. I now have 5 stents in various coronary arteries. I was told on July 2nd that if I didn't go into the hospital immediately, I would not survive the day. I went in and the second stent was placed in me. After the procedure, I was told that if I did not have an implantable cardiac defibrillator placed in me, I would suffer from a fatal heart arrythmia and would die before paramedics could arrive. Il lost my job in October and my insurance went with it. I cannot afford medication and COBRA premiums on my unemployment and like I said, two weeks ago I had the major heart attack. I was rushed to the hospital and 3 more stents were placed in me. Upon my release from the hospital, I was walking to the store which is one block away and was struck by an automobile, which turned my left leg into a disaster area. On thanksgiving I ate a week old left over ham sandwich (cannot stand long enough to prepare anything else) and nobody from my family contacted me to see how I was doing or to wish me a happy thanksgiving. Holidays only serve to remind me of how much pain I am in. I cannot wait to die! Most of my stomach has been removed due to perforated ulcers, my left wrist is fused and does not move, my right leg is shorter than my left (both of these happened as a result of severe fractures to the wrist and right femur). I know I don't give a damn about holidays, all they do is make the unemployment check late.

Last week I suffered my fourth heart attack. The doctor told me it was so bad that I will not survive another. I have no medicine and do not intend to take any. I want the next one, I'm ready. Well, the doctors were wrong. On the 31st I suffered another heart attack. I am so tired!

Edited by jf000101
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Guest ASchwartz

Hi jf,

You certainly have been through a lot. How old are you? What you describe is more typical of a person in their fifties or sixties than younger.

I have a couple of suggestions but you need to act quickly:

1. You most certainly qualify for Disability, given the state of your health, particularly your heart. The hospital where your records are will help you apply for disability and submit all the paper work. In fact, that should have been done already. Every hospital has a social work department or a "department of social services." They can handle this for you. You see, disability comes under the Social Security Act and entitles you to Medicare. Medicare is health insurance and that will solve your problem. There is also emergency medicare and medicaid for people like you who are in desperate health need.

2. We now know that there is a direct relationship between heart disease, depression and future heart attacks. Medicare will pay for psychotherapy for you heart disease related depression. The hospital cardiac department should have groups for people in your health condition.

3. Do not wait and do not hesitate. The sooner you act, the better.

Allan

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  • 7 years later...

Did you see other people Pax or hang solo?  I hope your fortunes change.  I imagine you could always immerse yourself in study if all else fails.  

I was alone and quite frankly that was fine w me. I got a few things done, took a nap, and watched TV & you tube.  

I wonder how it was for all the folks above from back in 2008?  

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Hi Beth, Hi Vic. I did not make the drive down to visit my gp's this Thanksgiving because I had too much to do. So I offered to cook the meal for someone I know here locally who has emotional/mental problems and no family except for one child and one sister. I'm the type of person that believes a friend is someone who helps you solve a problem, and when I see a problem I try to fix it. This person's life is in shambles, and I tried for the millionth time to offer constructive advice. It was a disaster and she ended up crying and left. Today I am going to sit in my recliner and read and not give a shit about anything. 

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What I have experienced is that the last thing anyone wants is constructive advice or help solving problems.  Most people just want to be heard and felt.  They are not going to take action on anything until they are darn good and ready.  Their head is their head and it is where it is.  

Anyway enough of my inane babbling. Hope you have a great day and rest of the weekend.  I enjoy books and music too.  

 

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Pax, I hope you won't be too hard on yourself. Your heart was in the right place. My h tries to fix sometimes too...I often do just want and need to be heard, but I appreciate that he cares. There is no way to know either if someone is in a space to receive or not unless one tries to offer support. As Vic mentioned sometimes people aren't ready. For what it's worth, I think it's great that you took a chance and tried to help.

I didn't watch the video yet. I need to catch up on posts. :o

Take care, Pax.

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Thanks, LaLa, for the video. I guess I will just have to learn how to keep my mouth shut. Part of the problem is that I don't think like this - if I have a problem, I want a solution. And if all someone does is sympathize with me then I think they either don't care or they aren't a friend. But I realize everybody is different so I suppose the safest course is just to shut my trap. 

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2 hours ago, Pax said:

everybody is different so I suppose the safest course is just to shut my trap

I don't think that this is the conclusion from the video. There are people like you (BTW; I also prefer the approach that you prefer - not "just listening and sympathizing or empathising") and there are people who need even something different than these two approaches (the video shows 4-5? of them). So if you decide "to shut up and listen" in each case, it doesn't mean it will be appropriate. The best thing would be to somehow, soon enough, find out what the person you're talking to prefers.

I hope you're not going to apply this "shut up" approach to this forum, either ;) .

 

 

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