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I've posted this one before, but a long time ago. Excuse me if you have heard it before.

How to achieve Inner Peace

Here's some advice from a top psychologist:

Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot Noir, a bottle of Chardonnay, a packet of Penguins, the remainder of a bottle of Prozac, a Valium prescription, the rest of the Cheesecake, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
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Adult Truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Was learning cursive really necessary?

6. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

7. Bad decisions make good stories.

8. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

9. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

10. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

12. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

13. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

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