Why does it always follow me?

[human111]

You mean you told her the whole thing?

[Jessie]

eh?

[dvnJ22]

Jessie...... If you don't get back on the horse, I'm gonna rob bank over here in California, use the money to buy a ticket to London, and I'm going to out you in a choke hold! Please at least try. It's going to haunt you forever if you don't.

[Jessie]

my failures have haunted me for years.

so I'm haunted either way…

I've lost my best friend so cannot go speed dating at moment.

Cant meet anyone from friends or colleagues obviously so kind of ran out of options there….

[malign]

Do the reverse of "Cheers": go where no one knows your name. And continuing the reversal, don't go to a bar or pub. Everyone there is trying to get drunk enough to sleep with somebody.

My suggestion: take up a hobby, or pick one up again that you used to do. Find a social club or support group or charity or something totally without sexual overtones, and just go be a person there. I have no idea what you will find, except other people.

Who knows what will happen? About the only thing I'm sure of is that no one will know your size except you.

[Perseverance]

I agree.

You're lucky at this point. You're single and you have opportunity to build off something. No clubs or bars.

Volunteer is a great idea. You could at your local church or something. I always liked the idea of coffee shop/book stores as a place to meet decent women. Plus I find bookworms sexy. Love nerdy girls... That's me though.

I mean I met my gf randomly in a big city. Asked a simple question then after you get a response ask a few more. Smile, and don't come off like a creep. Later on that night we met up for drinks and bullshitted for hours.

Shit Jessie, you've like, hit rock bottom... Have you not? How much worse can this get? It really can't. Expect the next girl to reject you. Don't let yourself down. If one sticks then one sticks. Just be a good person and stop taking much serious. Start to try and enjoy life more. You know good shit happens when you're happy and positive.

When I'm negative and down it spirals out of control. Believe me.

You're gonna be dead sooner than later so try and find what makes you happy and expect to take a few maybe more blows.

I try and make the best out of this. I want to do whatever I can to be a good man. I hope that it counts for something.

I can honestly say that your posts piss me off more than anyone's on here sometimes but deep down I want you OUT there OUT of your house hopefully meeting someone special you can share your time with. Well, all of you really.

Maybe just did something fun to do with your time and maybe that person will find you. Be honest, try and accept yourself, lighten up and see what happens.

Have a great holiday for those celebrating it. :-)

[Jessie]

thanks M and P

will definitely try to get out of the flat…. there is a charity walk leaflet I have been thumbing- might try that…

[gone]

I wish there was a button you could push that would give 4 stars or fanfare instead of just 'like'.

[Jessie]

i like this essay…

1. So, the answer is basically anything longer than 7 inches or 6 inches in girth.

Those are all big. The average length being anything between 5-6 (irrespective of race, don’t even try) anything above 6 is ‘above average’ and anything lower than 5 is ‘below average’.

Average girth is between 4 and 3/4 inches and 5 and 1/4 inches around. Same deal, anything above is above average and anything below is below average. Look up any study you want. They all fall on this range.

Dicks are measured on the top from the pubic bone for length and at their thickest point for girth although this really varies.

2. Statistically, there are no 12 inch dicks.

Hell, there aren’t even any 11 inch dicks. I’ve seen one, count it, one dick that was legitimately over 10 inches and he wasn’t born with it, he made it. Yes, made it. Nuff said on that here or this won’t get published.

So, any talk you hear about a cock that’s over 8-and-a-half inches long is most likely bullshit in every way. Porn lies, most porn dicks are under 8 inches.

Lexington Steele, the infamous pornstar is 9 and he’s among the top four or five in the industry. Danny Dong is even longer, who cares? Porn hates you and it wants you to be insecure because it knows you compare both literal and figurative cock size, in your head at least. It wants you to be bad in bed. It wants you to stay with it and it alone and spend money, get clicks, etc. It is not a viable alternative to loneliness.

3. There’s a myth out there (no idea where it came from) that says that women cannot accommodate a penis larger than X inches.

Well, there’s a limit, yes, but when aroused a woman’s cervix lifts higher into her body. Many women can accommodate 8+ inches. That’s the way it is. If you’re not of that length then don’t sweat that you’re not “filling her up” or whatever. You’ve got what you’ve got. It’s part of you. Love yourself. Unless she’s obsessed with a certain physical feeling or mental state then it won’t matter.

4. There’s growers and showers (that’s show-ers).

A lot of cocks simply sit up and if they’re big when soft they seem like they’re going to be monstrous. A lot of cocks are small when flaccid as in very small and can grow up to three times their length when hard. Ask me how I know. Don’t sweat it in the showers (that’s showers) if you feel insecure because of that 50-year-old business man that looks like he’s got a fire hose hanging from his pelvis. I could be wrong but more often than not he’s showing all he’s got already. Besides, your flaccid gets longer as you age because gravity.

5. ‘Big dick’ in the business world has an incredible number of meanings.

I’ve heard things about cocky bosses such as “the guy thinks he’s got the biggest dick in this place” and etc. Almost all men, at some point, equate a big dick with power. That gets reinforced by Hollywood impromptus, by ex-girlfriends who might talk about a big dick with a certain amount of awe. *Shrug* it happens.

I believe that there’s such a thing as a big dick mentality or, at least, what people often associate with a big dick. That thing is confidence. None of us are confident all the time but if you’re putting mental weight on the size of your junk and it’s not huge then that’s a losing game because there it is, unchanging. So, focus on things that you can control. Confidence is about being good at things, about being well informed, about being kind and have personal boundaries for yourself. Mostly though, it’s about knowing what you want. If you don’t know what you want then you may feel, figuratively, limp. Right? The metaphor works because we all know it. It’s basic deep brain stuff.

6. Don’t ever stay with someone who makes you feel badly or critical about aspects of your body that you can’t change.

I’ve had female friends who talked disparagingly to me about their mate’s smaller than average genitals. People do this, they say shitty things. He couldn’t help what he had but he was desperately in love with her and she used that against him. She’s not a bad person, basically, she just thought and said bad things to him. It wasn’t his fault but he should have quit her as soon as she started with the whole size discussion.

There are things I would never say to my girlfriend even if I felt them. Some people just aren’t a match and this is okay. You not being her match or vice versa is meaningless. It’s just how life is.

Not everyone’s a good pairing. There should be no morality attached to this. Live and let live. Regardless, don’t tolerate cock shaming, ever.

7. As far as archetypes go, big dicks have pretty much been associated with the gambit.

Orion has a big one (that’s not his sword) but they were seen as barbaric by the Greeks as well and a small one was seen as more in line with the ideal form since the mind was the most important thing about a man.

There’s always a battle between body and mind in every man I’ve ever known, myself included. Between the “ravisher” and the classical “lover.” Cultivate the lover and a more appealing ravisher will appear. Let your virility fuel your mind.

8. Women are notoriously bad at judging specific size and besides, men are the only ones that are basically engineering professionals about their dicks.

If you know you don’t have a big one then don’t ask if she thinks you do. This puts her in a terrible situation if she likes you and an annoying situation if she’s just ho-hum.

You know what you’ve got. Don’t go chasing down rabbit holes trying to find out who she’s been with that was bigger than you.

The answer, if she can even provide one, is likely meaningless. If you really are big and you like to hear that and she simply says it then good on you. Let’s let reality be reality here and not force anything because force often breaks things and people.

9. I have a very good friend that told me, regarding cock size, that the big ones were sometimes work to handle but that she’s met many men of average or smaller size that knew what they were doing and always left her wanting more of them in a good way.

Her most memorable lover was on the lower end of average (this is the one girl I’ve ever known who I believe qualifies as an engineer of penis size and there was no shame in her game).

10. On the other side, there are men with big cocks that are great lovers and when they pair with women who like big dicks then it’s magic.

But, the same goes for average and smaller men. There’s no need to disparage anyone’s size or ability as a lover out of jealousy or fear. It only makes you look immature and talking shit doesn’t change anything anyway.

Focus on being confident in who you are and sharing that person and cultivate good bedroom habits and technique. Control what you can control and let the rest worry for itself.

11. I believe pornography has created an epidemic of men who are afraid that everyone around them has a bigger dick than they do.

This can have terrible effects, psychologically, because it can translate to being bitter and overly passive or overly aggressive in non-sexual aspects of their lives.

If you believe that porn displays the average then stop it. If you believe you can never be a good lover unless you have one like “that” then stop it. Absolutely, stop it, and don’t look ever again.

It will only twist you up and lie to you. It is cock shaming. Don’t let a monied industry hurt you. You wouldn’t do that with anything else you put in your body so don’t do that with “erotica.”

12. Use “boy butter” to masturbate (search Amazon).

It’s marketed as gay ass lube but it really is the best lube I’ve ever used. I recommend it for non-anal sex with women as well. Yes, this was an aside.

13. Different men and women have different anatomies and temperaments.

There is no one size fits all regarding cock size. If you’re forgiving of differences in this regard then your relationships will go better and you’ll have less stress in your life.

14. I’m just going to repeat this because I think it’s truly important and I mean this physically and mentally.

Don’t ever stand for cock shaming. Leave or change your circumstances. Life is difficult enough without worrying about what you were born with. No woman of any decency will do this to you no matter what she prefers. More people than I’d like are not decent people.

[Jessie]

Typical- on the very same site I see this….

Men Are Like Diamonds: Size And Cut Are All

That Matters

SEP. 25, 2013

By ANNA LEE

Shutterstock

I’ve often wondered about the complexity of the bond that is created between two individuals. Be it in a platonic or romantic relationship, there must be so many different aspects that contribute to the attraction. Even though at times this attraction might seem so effortless and as if it were established out of thin air, there is always a lot going on behind the scenes.

I personally have a lot of requirements when it comes to finding a mate and from what I have gathered, I am not the only one. Let those requirements be superficial in nature or profound, regardless, they are a collection of characteristics that we have built from experiences we have had in the past, which we desire in a potential mate.

Wow that’s some deep sh*t.

Let’s get to the good part.

I could spend this whole article describing the personality characteristics and physical attributes that I would desire in a potential mate, and make it sound like my eHarmony profile. However, truth be told, this list is just about as valid as the Miranda Rights when they were read to Jodi Arias. Completely pointless.

The only thing I care about is a large cock.

(Such a controversial statement, I know.)

I hear little-dicked men with SPS (Small Penis Syndrome) yelling at the atrocity of it. Also among the voices I hear little-dicked men saying that it’s not about the size it’s about using it right. Of course it is, and Megan Fox is not only hot, she’s also a talented actress. Sorry to burst your bubble, but not once after a f*ck night did my girlfriends ask me how the man used his dick. The first question was always “how big is it?” Don’t believe me?! Well, that’s because you probably have a small dick.

I also usually ask about the foreskin. Just like diamonds — size and cut are all that matters.

Yes, I might want a man who’s considerate, funny and successful, but if I find out that his dick is nonexistent I will cut my losses and continue on my journey. Even if it means jumping out of a moving car…

We worked together and had chemistry. We would to go for smoke breaks behind the building. He used to pick me up and pin me against the hallway walls and kiss me passionately. I found him extremely attractive until one day he came to pick me up from a party. I jumped into the passenger seat of his Benz and after he drove to a side street and parked on the side of the curb we started making out like two hormonal teenagers.

I was wearing fishnet stockings and he was pulling at the delicate structure with his fingers leaving marks on my thighs. I decided I wanted to check the goods so I lowered my hand down to his bulge. I remember thinking he might not be as aroused as I was, but after I decided to feel him against my bare hand I realized his dick was the size of chapstick and wasn’t going to expand, since it was already at its full capacity.

I was genuinely shocked like the American population during Clinton’s confession in 1998. I made up the excuse that I had to go back because I forgot my friend at the party and forced him to drive me back. I ended up jumping out of his car before he even stopped, after I barely released myself from his grip holding onto my thigh and arm. I suspect I may have been too transparent.

That wasn’t the only time I cut someone off because their cock wasn’t significant enough.

My girlfriends always ask me why do I only carry Magnums, and I always tell them it’s because I would never be with a man whose cock in a magnum looks like a hamster in a clear ball. That’s just silly.

Simple as that, small cock means no Anna. In fact, if you are reading this thinking ‘Oh, Anna disappeared one day I wonder if that’s why?’ Stop the wondering, you found your answer. I can imagine my first boyfriend gloating reading this article and all I have to say is: f*ck you assh*le, your dick was the smallest, I just didn’t know better and couldn’t compare it to anyone else.

I am fully aware that this article is going to make some men very angry, and I am sorry.

Actually wait… I’m not.

The female body has been dissected and analyzed more times than Michael Jackson’s body at the morgue. You think I go to the gym so I can live until I’m 80?! No! I do it so I can get laid, so grow thicker skin assh*les.

I know I’m going to hell for this or coming back in my next life as a small-dicked man, oh well, at least I’ll be driving a nice shiny Benz.

[Wutty3]

Anna Lee

About Anna

A PHD-less scientist that uses men as guinea pigs for her lifetime experiments. Anna, Anna Lee, or Anna-Bambi-Lee, those are all the names she answers to. A sex blogger that lends a voice to women by writing about what most are thinking but never dare to say out loud.

SO LADIES???? is this what most of you are thinking but would never dare say out loud?

[IrmaJean]

No.

Wouldn't you want to be with someone who respects you as a human being and who loves and appreciates you as you are?

[Wutty3]

Of course I would, but those "someones" are so very rare.

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable

Irma I quoted the section in your sig. How is it dangerous giving up on love and belonging and joy? I gave up on those long ago. I don't love anyone and I don't hate anyone...There is no belonging if you don't belong anywhere. Why I was put here on this planet at this point in time I will never know. In all actuality I'd rather not even be here. I don't belong here. Joy? It's over rated because joy always comes at a price and is most often fleeting. I do not live...I exist...waiting for my time on this planet to be over with. The sooner the better. Damn I really dislike this time of year.

[Jeep]

.

[Jeep]

.

[IrmaJean]

Yes, why give power to the opinions of a person who is being disrespectful and insensitive?

Brene Brown's writings resonate with me personally, but I understand and respect that others might not feel the same. I find something beautiful and connective in vulnerability; it's something we all share. Joy is something I view as coming from within, the same with love...Whereas happiness might well be fleeting, joy, on the other hand, is more constant because it's part of us, I believe. Love is part of us too and is always with us. Just my personal thoughts and beliefs...

I'm sorry you feel sad, Wutty.

[Victimorthecrime]

As for this Anna Lee person - she is a hater. She tries to cloak it in this "I'm just telling it like it is" crap but it is the oldest trick in the book. Haters have always been with us. Some hate over race, religion, economic status, etc, and some over dick size.

[EternalDarkness]

The problem is that a large penis is an indicator of genetic fitness and virility, while a small one indicates the opposite.

Women are driven to seek out the best possible genetic material for her children. Don't believe me? Show me the female equivalent of a "chubby chaser", or some "BBW (BBM?)" male porn actors. There are virtually none of either.

Women's preferences have never changed, though it is fashionable and encouraged for women to be sexually liberated these days compared to 30 or 40 years ago

Where am I going with all of this? I believe that we (smaller men) should focus on other things, and accept that a healthy sex life probably isn't in the cards for us. If one of the 1/1000000 women comes along that truly accepts us, wonderful; but it should not be banked upon.

Please realize that I'm only trying to be realistic.

[Jessie]

just because its disrespectful and insensitive doesnt mean its not true…

i think the majority do feel like that

its such a humiliating and cruel thing…..

[IrmaJean]

The point being, Jess, is that men and women should be treated like human beings. Men aren't objects put here for the sexual gratification of women. A person who talks like this is not viewing you as an equal partner. Find someone who respects and appreciates you as a human being. You deserve that.

[Jessie]

actually - in terms of evolution and species survival; sexual adequacy, attraction, etc kinda ARE what we are put here for, or the reason why we are here, depending on your religious/scientific view.

Either way I agree all humans deserve respect and kindness.

But love and sex are not governed by such niceties…. either you find something or someone, sexy or not.

If something is a deal breaker romantically or sexually then its a deal breaker…. insulting women with such preferences (the vast majority) doesnt change that.

[Jessie]

so no one can 'deserve' sex and love.

It has to be spontaneously offered by a 2nd party

Thats the source of our pain (well my pain anyway)

Of course to be so despised and and ridiculed obviously rubs salt into the wound too…..

[Jessie]

ps I have family and friends and colleagues who I think do like and appreciate me as human being.

Well I havent seen family or friends in quite a while but I know they care for me….

But I want someone to fancy me (even after seeing my deformity) and to be sexually satisfied by me

I think Im hard wired to want that…. and the fact I can't is destroying me…. and Im so lonely … and when Im with colleagues I feel just as loney these days…. because their love lives remind me of my situation…

[Jessie]

I too f**king hate this time of year….

[IrmaJean]

Everyone is different and has different needs, for sure. But cruelty and disrespect is an entirely different matter, to me anyhow.

Jessie, if you can connect with and shine as yourself, you are more likely to attract someone who will appreciate you. Maybe it helps to be around friends? I hope you will stay open to the possibilities.

Take care.