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I'm sorry


Blossom

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Now that my name has finally been changed to blossom, I feel more invisible than ever. maybe I should change it back. I just want to say sorry to everyone. I know I'm a pain in the ass and I don't mean to be..I wish I wasn't so whiny and stupid all the time and I wish I could offer ye more support, When I think about it now, I definitely don't deserve to have such great freinds as ye, I don't even deserve to be alive. All I ever do is bring others down with me and that's not fair for them. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm not a good person, and I never will be. The bad outweighs the good inside of me. The bad always wins. and now the good is dying, Maybe my family are right to hate me. I don't blame them. I hate me too. I don't even need to say anything - sometimes it's just my presence that bothers them. because I'm bad. even when I was small and supposed to be good my presence annoyed them. They used to slap me for what at the time seemed like no reason but now I see why. They could obviously see that I was turning bad. I can't take it anymore and maybe that's a good thing. Ye shouldn't have to listen to me. I'm sorry.:(

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Aw, don't be sorry, milady. You haven't once been a pain in the ass to me, and believe me, my ass tells me any time it feels pain. And you don't bring me down: it's funny to spend an afternoon with the exclamation point lady.

I'm not going to be able to convince you, probably. But slapping you for no reason is just wrong. It certainly doesn't make you bad.

I'm sorry you feel so down, hon.

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No, really? :-P

So am I, or at least, I used to be. Partly because of people on here, I don't see things that way as much, any more. But the change is recent. 'carrion' is making me look at some of my early posts; the negativity is clearly visible in them. That's because, at that time, I was still suffering.

I would suggest the same is true of you. And because suffering is temporary, that's why I have hope for you. Because I found a better place, I know you can.

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Ach, I saw that before your edit.

I don't think you're negative, in that way. I've never seen you insult anyone on here, for instance.

Anything about you that you want to change, you can change. You don't have to hate the whole you, in the process. Another thing I've learned, just this year.

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It's nice that you have hope for me. but there's no guarantee that I'll ever change. I could stay like this forever. I'm glad that you found a better place, you deserve it.

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There's only one guarantee we get in life, and that's that it doesn't last forever. So it makes sense to take a chance on hope. I didn't ask you for a guarantee and I don't have one to offer. Do you feel like trying, anyway?

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yeah blossom , that's the one thing you need, is to make sure you keep the hope, cause without it you have nothing. I don't know how to get better either, I just try to keep faith that I will.

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I'm alright, still working on bills, but we're almost done so that's good. We're finishing up today but a lot of people got them in the mail yesterday so now we have all these people at the window as well, but surprisingly everyone's been well behaved so far, keep your fingers crossed for me.

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Why is that awkward? Now, when you ask someone to pass the salt, there's actually someone there. :-)

I'm just being annoying to shake you out of this mood, you know. I'm much less annoying when you're happy. I think.

Most times when I'm sure something's going to be difficult, before I even try it, I turn out to be right. I read somewhere that,

"Whether you think you're going to have a bad day,

Or you think you're going to have a good one,

You're usually right."

So if you like being right, you might as well assume it'll be a good day. :-)

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