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Blossom

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i feel so unhappy right now. but that's nothing new i suppose. i feel so stuck and horrible horrible horrible. all my roomates are gone out to a party. i stayed home to try get some art done. i've been sitting staring at a blank sheet of paper for 2 hours now. i'm so uninspired. i was like this during the summer too. i hoped eveything would go back to normal and i'd be able to not be so blocked when i started college but i'm still the same. i really don't know what to do. i have no interest in what i'm doing right now.. i wish it was easier for me to motivate myself. this sucks. i feel very guilty. i obviously shouldn't be in this college. i think i might leave. i wonder if i were to run away on my own right now, what would happen? i could just disappear, noone would notice anyway, and move to somewhere else in ireland where noone knows me and i wouldn't have to go to college. i want to disappear.

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today was a horrible day...

i got shouted at by a customer in work. i was on tills and there was a big queue behind her and i felt so humiliated:(it made me sad because i hadn't even done anything wrong.. she was giving out about how unorganised the shop is and how i should do a better job of running the shop (???) and then i told her i wasn't manager and it wasn't my job to run the shop. that made her really really angry and then she started shouting at me and saying i'm not doing my job. but i was doing my job... then she went and i started shaking and felt like crying because the whole queue was staring at me but i couldn't leave tills until i had taken for all of them. it was horrible...

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You could email and then wait with whatever they say. Just because you contact them doesn't commit you to doing something you don't want to do.

My day has some good points and some sad points. If I'm going to feel sad, it will for sure happen between 2 and 4 in the afternoon. Soooo I've got 9 more minutes of sad....

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What part is messing up for you?

Here is what it looks like when you are standing on flat ground and other people are about your height... the eye levels on the heads are all similiar

eye_level_1.jpg

When you look down on a crowd, the eye levels don't match up to yours, because you are so much higher

Picture-of-the-Crowd-at-the-Raleigh-International-Festival.jpg

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