ha, yeah, I think I'm picking it up !!

everything sucks right now..

you know who won't leave me alone.

she keeps shouting at me and saying mean stuff about me:(

she says i shouldn't have come home from college this weekend because i'm in everyone's way and noone here wants me around anymore. it's not like i wanted to come home. the only reason i'm home is because i have to work. and i don't remember doing anything wrong.. all i did was i asked her if i could use the big table in the kiitchen for my art. then she went crazy at me. i don't understand..what have i done wrong? i just can't please her no matter what i do. she's making me even more stressed than i already am and that makes it harder for me to do my art. i tried telling her that but she just shouted even more. i can't do anything right:( i feel so exhausted right now. noone sees me... what's the point of living anymore? i don't want to be alive and noone else wants me to be aliive so maybe i should end it all now. i'd be doing everyone a favour. i don't know what to do. i'm scared.

Ohhhhh Ladybug, they are soooo mean:mad::mad:!!!

I drove my mother stark raving mad too when I wanted to use the table for projects

You need a studio, sweetie, and friends, anddddddddd [vegetables!!!!!]

Are you working today?

hey Bloooooooooossssssssssssssoooooooooommmmmmmmm

hope your art work is getting there. is it nearly finished yet ?

anyhow see you later.

bbbbbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee

hey finding and Jj,

i wish i had a studio.. she's still being horrible to me:(

i'm just home from work and the minute i walk through the door she starts again. i don't want to live anymore. i don't want to go back to college and i definitely don't want to stay here. i have nowhere to go. i'd rather be dead than have to feel like this everyday. i know i'm going to stay like this forever so what's the point in carrying on? i hate it.

my art isn't even close to finished:( i have so much to do and i don't know how i'm going to do it. i don't want to do this anymore.

well, i'll be going back to my other home soon:(

then when i get there i'll probably have to stay up all night finishing my project. i dunno how i'm gonna finish it when i havn't a clue what i'm doing. i don't want to live anymore. i want to die. then i won't ever have to feel llike this again and i won't feel stressed out or noone will shout at me for no reason anymore. i can't do it anymore. i thought everything would change for me in college but it hasn't everything is still the same. and i know it'll stay the same until i die.

i can't handle this. what am i supposed to do? i feel like killing myself. it's getting worse. i feel like walking out in front of a car. then that would end it all and blossom could r.i.p.

Oh sweetie.... I'm so sorry :(. Where are you now?

i'm in my house now

i'm so screwed finding.

Noooo, you're traumatized . You've been slammed into the midbrain fear place by stress and by your family

i don't want to be like this anymore.

This is what trauma feels like. No, it is not good. Piece by piece, step by step, we want you to build a life apart from your triggers.

There are worlds of ability outside the place of fear.

[Would it help to tell us what you've got on your assignment?]

i can't build a life apart from my triggers.

all i have is a stupid painting.

That's poor Lbrain talking, and she is so hurt. [i'm so sorry Lbrain ]

Lucky for you, you have more to you [] even though you've totttttallllllyyyyy forgotten. That's OK. That's what Lbrains do when they are stressed. Everyone's does that. It is sooo awful people are so mean around you:mad::mad:.

[can you take a teensy break, and let Blossom tell me about her painting?]

:(

it's stupid and it looks like nothing.

Those are value judgements. I need to know the motifs, the composition annnnnnddddd maybe how big it is??

it's a4 canvas. it's blue. it's stormy. and apparently it looks like someone from lord of the rings:(

a wizard? a hobbit?

Is it windy? Lot's of diagonal lines?

What is going on in the face?

there is no face. i can't see any lord of the rings people in it atall. i've never even seen lord of the rings. i think it's windy. yeah lots of lines

Here are 2 sites on color symbolism that I just googled:

http://webdesign.about.com/od/color/a/bl_colorculture.htm

http://www.rrsd.mb.ca/riverscoll/snr1/Student_rsc/Color%20Symbolism%20Chart.htm

You could pick out just a few things from that to describe you, and talk about how emotions are like weather, and that you were feeling a lot of energy when you painted this, like the needle going crazy on a seismograph [that's what you showed me when you got in touch with your feelings about fear], and that's how making art is like for you sometimes.

thanks finding. that's a good idea. i dunno whether to paint another one or not. i think maybe i'm overthinking this. my friend next door is cooking a dinner for her project and bringing it in to college on a plate because she likes food!

I'd call it a day and be done

You've had wayyyyyy tooo much stress and strain. This is just an intro assignment, so if you can breathe easy a little, you can have some energy for whatever is coming next. Pace yourself!!!!

this is my painting but i'm taking it down in a minute-------------------------------

maybe i will call it a day....

but then i'll feel guilty because my work will look so crappy beside everyone elses tomorrow..