This girl is a good person, she has never hurt me. I fear I have hurt her though, cause I always turn her down.

I don't know if I could go to the party or not. The thought actually makes me very scared. I don't even know the details yet, like if it's a house party or if it's at a bar. I haven't answered her. I'd really rather she hadn't invited me.

I know, it probably won't be easy. You might not go, and that's okay. It's interesting to think about, though, and try to identify what your feelings are, and maybe even why you feel that way.

Well I just decided earlier today that I was giving up people. Than I told Blossom I had no reason to dress for halloween. Then I get a text inviting me to a party. Talk about timing.

I just don't see any reason to go. I am certain it would be more awkward than fun. The only person I would know would be her. Than on top of that I would have my parents to deal with.

And being a halloween party I bet you would have to dress up. And I know that whatever costume I chose would be wrong.

I'd say the timing was perfect, but then, I'm annoying.

You know, every party I've ever been to, and I haven't been to many, has been awkward right up to the moment when it became fun. The only thing for sure is that it won't be any fun if you don't go. :-)

But I know there's a whole series of things that get in your way. What do you think about the idea of divide and conquer? One hurdle at a time.

I don't have much time to divide and conuer, Halloween is Saturday. I'm very worried that I will get there and I won't be able to stay. I would have no problem waiting in the car for whoever I am with but I know that would ruin their time.

Sure, this one party isn't necessarily the main goal; the goal is to get you party...able. :-)

I can understand not wanting to duck out on a friend, or ruin their time. One option, though it's probably even harder, is to go alone. But no one says you have to go to this one. I was just suggesting to think it over; try to imagine what it would be like. For instance, say you got in trouble and felt like leaving: is there anything you could think of, ahead of time, to help you go back and face the party again? I'm just suggesting trying on different situations in your imagination, to see what you come up with.

You mean go outside for a bit then go back in? I could do that, but if I have to leave in the first place I don't think I would have a reason to go back in. I don't know, I just know that I am not good at this stuff. But i want to tell her yes at the same time, does that make sense?

Well, going out might be one way. I was thinking of maybe gathering ideas of stuff to tell yourself when you feel like leaving, so that you wouldn't actually leave. You can always walk away from one situation, one part of the party, and go to another. Or to the restroom to recuperate. Lots of possibilities.

And it makes perfect sense. We all want people, even when we're pushing them away.

well, I know it sounds stupid, but I know what I would be thinking. I would feel like everyone was staring at me, I would feel out of place, and if someone tried to talk to me it would just confirm that I didn't belong there. I'm just not good at this.

I wouldn't mind hanging out with this girl, just us, not at party, I would be ok with that. I can't expct her to stay with me the whole time. I don't know, maybe I should just text her and get the details. I just don't want to say yes and then back out once it's time.

Sweety, you belong wherever you choose to be.

Now, the only problem is convincing you. :-)

I would take it one step at a time, like I said before. If you can get more info before making the decision, that's a good step.

I think I'm pretty sure I just decided I'm not going. It's a house party about 40 minutes from here, it's dress up and my little brother will apparently be there. To me, that's just too far from home. I don't think I would like anything about it. Some people just aren't party people. I do this all the time, get myself so worked up over something and than get all depressed about it, whichever decision I make, it leaves me sad. I'll spend this Saturday like I spend every Saturday. And really, I'm okay with that. It's a little depressing and I know I won't get anywhere this way, but I don't know what else to do. I really don't know how other people do this, just always go out and meet people and have lives, I make myself crazy. Now I have to think of a good excuse to tell her as to why i can't make it.

We love ya either way, starry. I hope you know that.

Thanks malign, I just wish it wasn't like this. I didn't mean to waste your time talking about it just to not go, I hate these decisions, I shouldn't let it upset me.

My goodness, starry, you don't waste my time.

You explored an option. I believe just the process of exploration had its value.

I'm off for the night, though; I'll see you tomorrow.

Keep an eye/ear on JJ for me, will you? She's not having a good night.

Not a problem.

Thanks malign, have a good night.

well that was a stupid night:mad:

what a waste of alcohol:mad:

i'm so mad:mad:

but i got my photo taken with slash!!!

hey blosssom

whats wrong hun ?

talk to us !!!

hey Jj, i'm just stupid that's all. and i make stupid decisions and i don't learn from my mistakes like i should.

but i did get my photo taken with slash..

every one makes mistakes hun, sometimes you have to make them more than once before you can learn.

whos slash ?

i've already made them more than once, that's what makes it worse:(

this is slash

yeah, who's slash?

don't worry about tonight blossom, Saturday will be better!

Oh blossom, I make the same mistakes over and over and over....etc.

We just need to learn to forgive ourselves.

Is slash famous?

slash is in guns n' roses.

every night out always ends the same:(

How did you get your picture taken with slash? That is pretty cool.

What happened blossom, I mean how did it end?