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LOSING IT TOTALLY!


Tsunami

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Tsu, I wasn't here for few weeks and didn't know what was going on...

I'm sorry you've struggled so much...

It's great that you received such support here.

I believe it's possible to succeed in therapy and gain more control. You've done some progress and you're, as others poited out, very good in identifying and describing your emotions and states and problems. That's important, although it, at least so far, doesn't remove the pain.

Take care and keep posting!

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Maybe it's just that the plan was too optimistic, and some part of you felt ignored.

I'm not sure there is an opposite of emotion. It's like saying, "I'm going to stop thinking now." You have to think about it in order to stop thinking about it ... And you have to feel like not feeling. For thinking at least, the only thing that works for me is distraction; in other words, thinking about something else, preferably more pleasant and less intense. Perhaps that works for feeling, too?

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Thanks for the replies, they are much appreciated as always! I am okay today, my emotions are ever-changing. I never know what to expect. I think that going through those emotions depletes me, so even when the storm is over, I have to deal with the fatigue it causes which depresses me. My get up and go got up and went. I need to change but I guess it isn't going to happen overnight. I need to focus on one small thing to change instead of feeling overwhelmed by the enormous task I have in front of me. I agree that distraction is helpful, and I like to do puzzle books with logic questions because I can't do those and think about things at the same time:)

I thought this was interesting so I wanted to share it. I had a dream the other night that xT called me. He said, I am going camping, but I wanted to call you and make sure that you are and will be okay, that you won't be in pain. A few days before this dream, it was odd because in an instant I felt like my anger and rage from termination was over, that I had processed it all, expressed myself clearly, intensely, and persistently. I read something that talked about visualizing things that have happened in the past and visualizing the painful parts as happening differently, positively. After being terminated, although I might have suspected otherwise, I felt like T let me go, he didn't care if I was in pain, he didn't care if I lived or died. My analysis: my T going camping = him wanting to get away from stress (me) and make his life simpler. (although I think he was right to do what he did, I understand this now) But him calling me to see if I was okay, and telling me that he did care in spite of what happened, was what I wanted him to do. My dream brought about a lot of felt peace in regard to what happened, and I am able to remember who he was now that my pain from that isn't so overwhelming. I am able to contemplate that he did care. It still is painful, but painful in that it was a loss.

Peace.

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Maybe it could also be some part of you trying to take care with other parts of you? Just a thought...

My dream brought about a lot of felt peace in regard to what happened' date=' and I am able to remember who he was now that my pain from that isn't so overwhelming. I am able to contemplate that he did care. It still is painful, but painful in that it was a loss.[/quote']

This sounds like great progress, Tsunami. I struggle, too, with loss. I'm sorry it is still painful. :( Maybe as the pain lessens you may be able to connect with the parts of yourself that grew within this relationship.

My mom used to say "my get up and go got up and went." I smiled when I read that because it reminded me of her.

Maybe it's okay to rest if you feel tired?

Thanks for sharing with us, Tsu. I hope you can be gentle with you. Take care.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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