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John, Jetliner


Guest ASchwartz
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Guest ASchwartz

Hi John and Everyone,

I am sorry to learn of your intention of quitting the site.

It is true that it is time for you to live. Yes, Live, but its not a choice between living and participating here.

I urge you to stick with us.

Allan:)

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Soooo, you are saying goodbye to ropes? I suppose I would want to loosen my attachment to a rope too. But......... we aren't ropes! :P

This is a large community of people that come here with issues looking for other real live people to talk to and who might listen. Each one has their own lives and we cannot possibly all know each other well. We try to treat one another respectfully and there is a general good will of wishing each other well. Some feel a little better coming here, which is why we keep at it.

Jetliner I once had a diagnosis of Adult Separation Anxiety. My attachment issues came from my family history... the attachment didn't go well, and so the separations didn't go well. There was no healthy flow of attaching and letting go that happens daily and of course in bigger cycles too like leaving home, making your way, etc. I relate to this kind of pain.

People come and go here according to their need. We will be here in the coming and going. I wish you well today, Jetliner:o

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I second what Finding said, and though I am sorry to see you go, if you think it's best for you then I wish you well and want to thank you for being a friend.

Me, too :)

To be honest, I don't like sentences like <<I urge you to stick with us.>> You're free, you can make your decisions. Moreover, me, I think it's a very positive news that you decided to leave because "you don't need the rope anymore". That's great that you don't need it! And don't feel guilty because you stop helping people here! You helped so much, you really have no "duties" here ;)...

Best wishes,

L.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi LaLa,

Of course John and everyone else is free to come and go as they wish. That is not, or should not be an issue. However, given the fact that John was so very depressed very recently, I can't help but ask if it is a bit too soon. That is my opinion, of course. As to provoking any guilt feelings in John, I am not able to see the connection. Why should my opinion about sticking around longer provoke any guilt feelings in John or anyone else?

Allan:confused:

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Hi, Allan,

I'm sorry I linked so badly - in one paragrapf - the two different issues! The fact that it's his free decision was realted to your comment, but the "guilt issue" was no more related to it. I'm sorry, I didn't realized how it sounded :). I do this quite often it seems :(. Now you see why should I delete some posts often - but I don't and maybe that's not very good. But I prefere to explain what I meant.

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When I came here first, I was on the forum day and night because I needed to be - the support I got was second to none. I've had my ups and downs and have always found this forum to be a life saver for me especially in the middle of the night when I have been very low.

Most of the time now I'm doing ok and I am getting on with my life. However I still feel drawn here to see how my friends are doing and to occasionally offer some support. And sometimes to ask for support when I am having a low day.

I would advise John that it is ok to take a step back but not to feel he could not drop in when the need arises. Even just to say hello.

Take care John

Goose

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi John,

Of course I do not think this is the only sourceo of support. That is not my point. Again, go with my blessing even though you do not need it. But, I can't help my opinion. What has soaring have to do with leaving here? I do not see the connection.

Allan

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Hi John,

I have not posted on here for a couple of months, however, I have been browsing , and everyday stopping in here. Perhaps you can still do that? I think you still have a lot to offer here to others. Perhaps sometime you will need to post again for yourself too, but , your feedback has always been great .

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Hi John,

If you need to go, we'll understand! I come and go, too... as time and need dictate. But if you feel being here is a hindrance then you must do what makes you feel you are progressing, and you'll undoubtedly have the blessing of all you've encountered here, including mine.

I'm very happy to have met you and read your thoughtful posts, and I wish you well in your future, wherever you go!

Take care!

Jane

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John Ive been sort of following along with this post and I see that you have been looking to leave for a while now?? I think we all understand that feeling of maybe not wanting/needing/tolerating being on the forum. And that is absolutely OK.

It seems a lot of people come and go and probably for the same reasons you feel. I feel the same way, the people I used talk to dont seem to be online so I wonder myself how everyone is and why they are not on the forum. But thats life, we can either PM those people, make new connections with the new members or just realize we all need support in different ways and that to is OK..

So don't burn your bridge here so to speak, take others suggestions and just come and go and when you are ready you will know when it is time to jump back in the forum and start posting...

Good Luck to you and to all of us!!! :(

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gee people here are just trying to help you so thanks for the slap in the face for trying to help...

Maybe this is exactly why members leave this forum because of either members mental health illnesses or ignorance but either way it becomes very frustrating to communicate with some members.

Dont know what is which anymore and I myself now know why I have stayed away and probably will continue to.

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Can we all please stop and take a deep breath here? Can we please be respectful of everyone? Let's try and remember the caring and supportive atmosphere of the forum. Also consider your language and behavior with regards to forum rules.

John, I'm not exactly sure where your anger is coming from with this, but remember the discussion we had recently about potential miscommunication happening online? These things can and do happen. I believe Linda's intentions were to be supportive and there was a misunderstanding. If you are feeling upset try and step back until you can regain control of your emotions.

Linda, I'm very sorry about this and do hope you will return to the site.

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Jetliner, if your done with this place and you no longer want to be here or talk chat text here. Don't start up a conversation about it. If I was an administrator I would "temporally" suspend you so that it'll force you to leave but be back when you really need just not at the moment, of course with sending you some sort of email or notification or alike. Its a bit brutal, but if some one doesn't have the willpower to accept the good feelings and leave/stay. Some one else should force it on you.

Other than that no offence intended. I support your free will to make your own choice. Since I'm not an administrator. Theirs nothing I can do. If leaving will make you feel better leave, maybe install a custom proxy for your browser and put this site on to be blocked. Then put a random scrawl of letters and numbers (for the password that secures the proxy), that you don't know.

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Guest ASchwartz

I want to make clear that everyone is allowed to post on our boards even if they may have stated they were leaving. I do not want to give anyone the impression that once you leave here you can no longer return.

Allan:)

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Not exactly sure what is going on here...... but I think I get the gist....

PLEASE people know that is is hard to express through a key board what you really mean. It is easy to be misunderstood..... some people are very good at expressing their selves and others like me are not..... If you have a problem with what someone said or how they said it... why not try asking them to explain themselves further or to clarify???

And then again... we are all not going to agree.... but that is life.... not everyone has the same feelings or opinions or experiences.

And I do not think anyone should be banned or run off from this site unless they are sexually abusive..... or in others ways way out of line .... and then I think the first step should be a temporary ban with an explanation and a cooling off period....Perhaps the "offender" is having a real bad week or month..... perhaps if everyone jumps on them they may do something like commit suicide or hurt themselves..... this is a mental health site and for some mental health is very >>>>> Trying to think of the word>>>> FRAGILE????

Perhaps if someone is "acting" out someone needs to PM them and ask them if there is something else going on that they may want to talk about in private.....

Just my Opinion/// JT

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