Would'nt ya know it

[58corvette]

Wish I Could Report Better News But I Cant. While Trying To Get My Transportation Issue Taken Care Of With My Twin Son & Stressing Over My Situation & Other Son; My Daughters Boyfriend Decided To Butt Into My Private Business AGAIN & Made A Sarcastic Nasty Remark About My Responce To Him; In Front Of MY DAUGHTER & His At The Dinner Table.

I Finally Had Enough Of His CONTINUED Bagering, Rudeness, Sarcassum, & Nosing Into My Personal Affairs. I Let Him Know This & He Did Not Like The Fact I Stood Up For Myself, Dignity & Respect.

So After That Episode All Was Quiet & Not Another Word Said. I Have Not Seen My Daughter Today; She's Usually Back By Now. So I Expect My Days Here Are Now Numbered As Well.

The Guy Wants Everything & Complete Control Of My Daughter, His Daughter & Everyone Elses Life He Can Manipulate. I Just Finally Had Enough & Stood Up For Myself. He Could Of Talked To Me In Private Instead Of Making A Fool Of Me In Front Of My Daughter & ALWAYS Making It Seem Like; "He's Only Trying To Help"...... B.S.

He is Slowly Alienating My Daughter From Everyone. But In Her Eyes This Guy Can Do No Wrong & He Is God. So That Leaves Me Back To Square One & Probably Homeless Again. I Know I Need To Get My Own Act Together & Im Trying With My Twin Son & My Transportation. I Just Cant Breath Without This Guy Wanting To Know Everything.

So I Tried My Best As Long As I Could To Be Patient With This Guy & Burn No Bridges. Unfortunatley I Lost It & Now It May Be To Late. Ill Know More When My Daughter Comes Home Im Sure They Both Have Had Some Discussion.

So We Will See. Hopefully At Some Point I Can Get My Stuff Together & Start To get More Control Of My Own Life Again.

I Have Fear Of Course Now Of The Unknown Again & Homeless. But I Also Had My Dignity & Being My Daughter's Father needed To Be Respected As Well. Instead Of Him Treating Me Like Some Kid; As He Does With Not Only His Daughter But Mine As Well...............................

He is Slowly Alienating My Daughter From Everyone. And

[randomperson]

I'm glad to hear from you again. You both deserve so much better. I understand your feelings. Over time it does build up. What I have found out sometimes you just have to let people you care about make their mistakes.

I say this with the heaviest of hearts from trying many times to help people I care for myself. Typically it just drives them further in and puts more distance between your relationship with them. Just the way people are.

The time to help is after they are hurt.. looking for answers.. that is when you can make a real difference. The tricky part, life is never so simple to know when they are ready to listen, when they are hurt enough.

You all have become close to me. Even the ones I don't chat with as often now. You helped me heal. For that I will never be able to express my gratitude. For once I am able to be proud of myself as I am and alone.. not clinging on to anyone.. anything for stability like I always have in the past.

Corv I wish you had your private chat on. I would so like to help in some way more than I am. Your in my prayers my friend. Though you can't see it God is working in your life someway, somehow I am sure of it.

[58corvette]

Random Glad To Hear From You As Well. It Is Great For me To Hear & Know You Are Doing Well. Thank You So Much For Continuing To Stick By My Side & Support Me. Believe Me Right Now Just Hearing Words Of Encouragement & Understanding From Anyone Is Better Than Nothing At All.

My Daughter Stayed Away All Day Yesterday & Basically I Was Avoided Like The Plague. Her Boyfriend Did Not Get Home Till Late Last Night & They All Went Right To Bed So I Know Something Is Up.

It's So Quiet This Morning With Both Of Them here You Can Here A Pin Drop. Basically Right Now Im Feeling Alienated & Alone. Kind Of Sad Cause I Have Been Here Before When My EX Left Me As Well.

But My Twin Son Is Trying The best He Can To Help Me Out Of This Mess I Find Myself In. He Knows That I Have Always Been There For All Of Them In Their Darkest Hours. Kind Of Like My Dad Was For Me When I Hit Rock Bottom.

I Appreciate All Your Concern Random & Maybe Sometime Ill Get Back To Private Messages; But For Now Im Just Kind Of Waiting For This Curtain To Fall As Well & See Where I Need To Go From Here.

It's Funny Cause My Dad, My Good Friend & My Twin Son Are Probably The Three People I Know Will Be There For Me & I Can Trust. Obviously My Daughter Cant In This Situation & It's Unfortunate But Understandable. It's His Place (He Rents) He Works, And He Has The Money & Power For The Last Word.

Like I Said. Maybe I Should Not Of Quit My Job A Few Years Back & Relocated To Be Near My Three Children & Dad. It Just Hasn't Gone Well Or As Planned & Expected. But I Made That Decision & I Have To Continue To Have Hope & Live With It........................

[randomperson]

No time to write a lot long day at work, and I am bit tired. Just thinking of you, letting you know we are here for you and listening.

[Athena]

Hi Jim,

Just wanted to let you know I was listening. I seem to be in some kind of withdrawal phase right now so I'm sorry I don't have anything particularly helpful to say, other than "I hear you. And I know what it's like starting over later in life." A daunting proposition. But one must do what one must do.

[58corvette]

Hey Random & Athena; THANK YOU Again & I UNDERSTAND.

Just Knowing You Two Are Here Still Helps Me At This Time. So Many New People On This Site. But As I Said Before It's Kind Of Like A Turnstile Or Elevator. People Come & People Go. Part Of Life.

I'm Trying My Best To Hold On & Not Lose It With My Daughter's Boyfriend. I Think Once I Stood Up To His Sarcastic B.S. He Did Not Like It, Cause he Wants EVERYONE To Love, Adore, Respect & Worship The Ground He Walks On. If You Call His Bluff & See Through His Puff Of SMOKE He Just Cant Deal With It.

Even My Twin Son Knows My Daughter (His Twin Sister) Is BLIND To This Guy & Does Not Want To Hear The TRUTH.

Anyway The Days Are Long & I Continue To Just Try To Hold On For ANOTHER DAY. I Was Offered Work But Before I Start I Have To Have reliable Transportation. My Twin Son Is Helping Me So Much Lately & I Truly Appreciate It & I Am Thankful For His Kindness, Understanding, Caring & Just Being There For Me.

So Together We Are Working On Getting My Car Smogged, Tagged, Legal, & Ready To Go. ONE STEP AT A TIME.

I Have That Done, Than I Can Work, Make Money, Get Away From Here & Try To Start My Life Over Again.

My Three Children Honestly Is All That I Continue To Live For. I Still Struggle With Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hopelessness & Anxiety. DAILY. And It Is Embarrassing To Admit That.

But I Keep Holding On Thinking Maybe One Day I Can Look Back From This LONG HELL & Thank Whomever That I'm Still Alive & Can Enjoy Life & My Children AGAIN..............

[Guest ASchwartz]

Hi 58,

It must be sooo frustrating to not have reliable transportation available to you, at least, not as yet. In the meantime, is there some alternate means of transport that you can use until the car is operational?

Allan

[Athena]

Anyway The Days Are Long & I Continue To Just Try To Hold On For ANOTHER DAY. I Was Offered Work But Before I Start I Have To Have reliable Transportation. My Twin Son Is Helping Me So Much Lately & I Truly Appreciate It & I Am Thankful For His Kindness, Understanding, Caring & Just Being There For Me.

So Together We Are Working On Getting My Car Smogged, Tagged, Legal, & Ready To Go. ONE STEP AT A TIME.

I Have That Done, Than I Can Work, Make Money, Get Away From Here & Try To Start My Life Over Again.

Congrats on the job offer. Sounds like things are looking up. I'm glad you are getting help with the car. And don't worry about telling friends and family what is happening with you. Sometimes what you need just lands in your lap if the right kind of people know you are in need.

My Three Children Honestly Is All That I Continue To Live For. I Still Struggle With Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hopelessness & Anxiety. DAILY. And It Is Embarrassing To Admit That.

It's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. I have the same thoughts. And I sometimes think that my kids keep me alive. I have recurring nightmares about being homeless, and I often think of how strong you are actually LIVING through it.

But I Keep Holding On Thinking Maybe One Day I Can Look Back From This LONG HELL & Thank Whomever That I'm Still Alive & Can Enjoy Life & My Children AGAIN..............

Then you are not feeling completely hopeless. Kids and hope - they'll keep you going.

[58corvette]

Allan & Athena; Thank You........

Yesterday My Car Passed Smog & My Twin Son Has Continued To Help Me in The Process. So Now I Just Have To Wait For Some Paperwork In The Mail, Bring Everything To DMV & I'm Set.

Than I Call The Job Agency & Hope Job Is Still Available????

It is Still Long Lonely Day's Here & This guy (Daughter's Boyfriend) Continues To Make Me Uncomfortable. So Right Now I'm Alone & I Think My Daughter May Be Planning A Little Something For Me Today. So I'm A Bit Uneasy About That. Don't Like Surprises Or Phoniness. Not On My Daughter's Part. Her Boyfriend.......................

Tomorrow My Two Son's Are Taking Me To The Beach; So I'm Looking Forward To That. Just To Get Away From Here For Awhile, Enjoy My Sons & Be Myself For A Bit. Instead Of Being Someone I'm Not & Being On Pins & Needles Around My Daughter's Boyfriend Just To Keep The Peace........

Anyway I Continue To Hope For Better Days & Thanks Again For Your Concern, Caring & Understanding. I Truly Appreciate & Need That Right Now.

Thank You

Sincerely; Jim

[randomperson]

Nothing to be ashamed of how you feel. Society makes us feel like "normal" people have it all together. Tell you what I have talked to many people.. studied patterns, attitudes. People have more in common than you think. We all have issues, all of us hurt. You just have to choose if you love or hate.

You and the people on here have kind hearts.

I have been suicidal and I'm not ashamed to say it. But its not the thoughts like that that makes someone bad.. it is hurting others, especially when you know you are hurting them and still don't care. Being self absorbed, greedy that makes you a bad person. NONE of which you are. Be kind to yourself, you deserve praise.

Allan good to hear from you again. Thank you for your continued support in this community.

[58corvette]

Thanks Random & Always Good To Hear From You As Well My Friend.

Yesterday With My SONS Was A very Good Day. Although My Sons Got A Little Edgy With Each Other Over Misunderstanding's. Made Me A Little Uncomfortable But They Managed To Straighten Things Out Before It Got real Ugly. I Think They Are A Bit On Edge As Well & Stressed Over Some Things.

I Just wish I had My Own Place Again & A Place For Myself & All Three Of My Children To Get Away & Just relax & Be Ourselves Without Having To Rely On Others For A Place To Live. That Divorce Was Just Devastating To ALL Of Us. I Can Only Continue To Hope That Someday Me & My Three Children Will Be Able To Be Independent & On Our Own Someday Without Worry Or Stress & Just Enjoy One Another Again.

I Know I need To Set An Example For Myself & Children..............I Hope I Can Find The Strength, Wisdom, Desire & Determination To Do So.................

And yes Allan Like Random It Is ALWAYS Good To Hear From You & Know You Care & Have Advice. Sooths Me A Bit.

Thanks Again Random, Allan & Athena

Sincerely; Jim

[58corvette]

Well I Added To Last Post; But As Usual With This Site if You Take To Long Writing It; Poof It Vanishes.

Basically It Was About Daughter's Boyfriend & His OBVIOUS Manipulation Of My Daughter. Ever Since I Gave Him A Piece Of My Mind When He Embarrassed & Was Sarcastic To Me In Front Of My Daughter I Have Noticed She Has Been COLD AS ICE To Me & Rarely If Ever Talks To Me Anymore.

This Guy Continues To CONTROL & MANIPULATE My Daughter, Her Feelings & Every Move. But She IS BLIND To ALL Of It & Wont Listen To Anyone About This Character's Flaw's..........

He IS A Bigot, Racist, Know-It-All That Needs To CONTROL All Those Around Him. It is A Game To Him. He Is The Same Way At His Job. Basically He Sits Behind A Desk & Spies On Fellow Employees. Part Of This Wanna-Be-Cops Job.

Eventually It Will Be The Downfall Of Him & I Have Already Caught Him In A Few Lie's & Trying His best To Cover It Up.

Anyway I Knew it Wouldn't be the Best Of Situation's When I Moved In. Bad Feelings & Vibes About This Character From The Get Go. Always Trying To IMPRESS & MANIPULATE. Than When You Call His Bluff He Cant Handle It.

Need To Stay Focused On Myself & Continue To Just Try To Stay Alive, Motivated & Get back on My Own Two Feet.

In The Meantime I Hope My Daughter NEVER Marries Or Gets Pregnant By This guy. I Was BLIND To My Ex Who Used, Manipulated & Cheated On Me. I Remained Loyal & Faithful & She Was ALWAYS My #1. My Daughter Has Them Same Qualities Of Faith, Love & Loyalty. To A BLIND FAULT Unfortunately Like Me.

That is Why I Continue To Tell My Twin Daughter & Son Stay Focused On What You Want To Do In Life For WORK & MONEY & Try To Get Yourself In Position Where You Don't Have To Rely On Another Person. My Twin Son Knows What I Mean. My Twin Daughter Does But She Remains Blind.

[58corvette]

You Know What; As I Continue To Get Older & A Little More Jaded & Disillusioned every day. I'm Caring Or Concerned Less & Less. I Have Been Burnt By A Few Women; Most Importantly My EX, Than The Principal At My School District Job (So I LOST That) Than My Mom As Dad Was Dying & She Took My Little (Druggie & Alcohol) Blitzed Little Brother Over Me. Than With My Retirement Money My EX AGAIN. STUPID ME.

Now It Appears My Daughter Is Next On The List Of Being Hurt & Burnt. I Think That's Why I Am So Very Jaded Towards WOMEN In General. Sad To Say But True.

People That Haven't Burnt Me. Three Are Now Dead. My Dear Dad & Nephew Over The Last Seven Years.

That Leaves My ONE Good Friend. Of Course Bummer is While I was Married He Was Single & Since I Have Been Single He Has Been Married. And She Has Him On A Very Short LEASH. Sad But True. Very Controlling & Jealous.

There Will Probably Be A few People Who Read This & Just Don't Reply. Others Will Pass It By. Maybe A Few I Know Will Respond. But Again At Least I Got It Out OF MY MIND & INTO WORDS ON This Site IN CYBERSPACE........................

And That Leaves My Twin Son. But I Only See Him Occasionally.

If I Sound BITTER, LOST, CONFUSSED, ANGRY, & DEPRESSED It's Because I AM. And I'm So Tired Of This Merry-Go-Round. I'm Tired Of Physical Work, Or Work That Has No Meaning In My Life. I'm Tired Of Having Nothing & Being Poor. Always Tired Of Being ALONE & Feeling Misunderstood.

Just No Meaning In Life & Day To Day It's A Chore & A Hassle. I Guess I Gave To Much Hope with My Daughter & She Let Me Down When The Chips Were On The Line. I Keep Hoping To Find Someone Who Will Stick With Me Through Thick-N-Thin, Believe & Have Faith In Me. Instead Of Always Feeling Alone & An Outcast.

[58corvette]

Maybe I Should Of Done What My Daughters (DADDY FIGURE) I Mean "BOYFRIEND" Did. And Just Played The Phony B.S. At Work & Back-Stab & Railroad People. Not Go Through A Long Drawn Out Divorce (Because I Wanted To Have Some Dignity) And Than Find Some YOUNG VULNERBLE Girl 20+ Yrs. My Junior. Manipulate Her & Have Her Cook, Clean, Do Laundry & All The Other Fun Stuff For Me While I Just Could Of Laid Back & Got Fat Like This Dude........................................

Somehow I Keep Managing To Mess Things Up. By Trying To Do Right & Live With A Conscience.

[58corvette]

OK; This Morning I Finished Getting My DMV Stuff Out Of The Way & Done. So I Accomplished That. Now in Just A Few Minutes I Will Be Calling To Find Out If I Still Have A JOB Starting Tomorrow?

So I'm Trying My Best To Start My new Life, Get Myself Out Of This Deep Dark Hole & Feel Good About Myself AGAIN.

Despite My Ongoing DEMONS; Anxiety, Depression & Loneliness. I'm Still Not Homeless (YET) Although I Feel Like A Second Class Person Living With My Daughter At The Moment. She Still Isn't Talking To Me & Is Cold As ICE. And I Haven't Landed In Mental Hospital Or Jail, So I'm Keeping My Composure & Cool The Best I Can...........

Time To Go & Now Make A Phone Call. God I keep Praying For Myself & My Three Children.......................

[58corvette]

Well Although I Feel I Have Been Writing To Myself Here On This Site Lately; At Least I'm Able to get things off my Chest & Out Of My Mind.

Today I Start A New Job & It Also Looks Like My Oldest Son May Also be Starting a New Job. So I'm Hoping For The Best & Neither Of Us Blows This Opportunity to start New Lives.

I Have Found A Few People On This Site Who Have Helped & Thank You So Very Much. Hopefully I Can Continue To Write & Things Improve..........................

[Endlessnight]

Dear Jim, i'm so glad you and your son have jobs. Though we may not be crazy about the work we do I know that getting out, mixing with other people, is always better than staying shut up in a room at home.

Trying to stay out of the way of the people we share a home with can be so hard but I hope you can find some relief in your work and try and let things at home settle down.

As always I wish you the best Jim. I know how loneliness can get to us but I hope that you can make new friends and start a new life, as you said.

Take care, M.

P.S. i'm sorry I haven't been around much. Ramadan is a very hard time for me, but it's over now and I hope I can give my friends the support and help they have given to me.

[randomperson]

Jim I'm still here. Sorry I have not been on this is the first time I have checked this thread since you posted didn't realize you were hurting so bad.

Strange how often we are going through the same emotional feelings at the same time. I thank God for the women on this site and for my mother as the bitterness and bad feeling towards women would be the same for me if it was not for their constant support and showing me so much mercy and kindness.

It is crazy but I am having the exact same feelings. Frustration at doing the right thing even when it means self sacrifice and not seeming to catch a break on the things that really matter to me. Seeing injustice.

A few things triggered it.. but this is your thread so I won't going into the details. Just know your not alone in this right now. I was just saying how it is making me cold and a little bitter to the world. I really don't want that but don't know how to stop it. On the reverse side it has helped with the emotional pain. I don't hurt anymore.

Few things that helped me (I post this to help Jim as I know he is a Christian). I heard a sermon yesterday on coping with injustice, dealing with any situation your in. Mentioned apostle Paul while he was in jail for 2 years.

Key is to focus on Christ and know the end goal, and in that Christ can give you peace. Paul was content everytime he was imprisoned even knowing that he could be executed at times. ..and often there is deeper purposes things, reasons that we don't see. For Paul it was encouraging the churches around him, giving him time to write parts of the gospels.

The car wreck that happened to me that killed my family and destroyed my life.. just this year I found it was the reason life flight started so early in my state. No telling how many lives it saved.

The preacher also said that often it is only through intense pain that we truly grow as people. ..and I hate to say it but through my own life and observing others he is right. I have grown so much the past few years.. but it has been the most difficult time of my life. But I wouldn't have faced these fears I needed to confront without going through what I have.

Too bad we can't combine problems. Funny my major issue is being alone not finding a woman to accept me for who I am, losing my all of family... which is happening as we speak.

I could simply date your daughter move you both into my large house and all our problems would be solved hahaha

Keep the faith Jim. God is with us. Life is hard, not fair. I'm am very confused by my feelings and thoughts right now. The bitterness seeing so many people men and women betray me for no good reason.. reject even my friendhship. But I have seen God act in my life and others. I have see his love, grace, and mercy. Knowing that is the cornerstone that allows us to build our futures rather than slide into the darkness. We are all here for you.

[58corvette]

Dear M. Thank You Once Again For Your Very Kind Words & Understanding. I Just Finished My First Week On The Job. Very Physical. I'm Not Getting Any Younger So It gets Tougher. And The Pay Is Low. But It Is Work; And As You Said It has been Good For Me To Get Out & Meet New People Again & Feel Part Of Something.

So Hopefully Things Start To Ease Up A Bit & Get Better. My Daughter & Her Boyfriend Are At Least Talking To Me Again. Although I Will Always Be Leary & Not Trusting Of His Intentions.

Random Good To Hear You My Friend. So Sorry To Hear About Your Family. You Have Indeed Had A very Rough Road. Yet You Stay Optimistic & Have Much Faith. You Continue To Inspire Me. My Twin Son As You Know Was Also In A Major Accident & Is Permanently Disabled. Yet He Has Realised So Much In His Life. And Has Helped Me So Much Over The Last Month. Without His Help I Would Not Of Been Able To Get Car Fixed & Get This Job.

As Far As Our Lonliness Random; I Truly Hope Someday We Can Find That Woman That Helps Make Life Complete.

And M. I read Your Poem On Your Post. Beautiful.........Thank You

Sincerely; Jim

[Athena]

Hi Jim,

For some reason, your recent posts didn't come through on my e-mail. Sorry you felt so alone. It would appear perseverance is one of your virtues. I probably would have given up. I'm happy you've found work again. I know the feeling of expecting more out of a job, but perhaps you can find happiness and meaning through some other means. Other interests, love, your faith.

Yes, getting older sucks. I met an elderly couple on a park bench today. They were quite pleasant. The man used a walker and I figured he was 80+. I started going on about how I keep injuring myself because I'm getting older. Swimming, then running, then cycling. Soon after, they left. It was quite funny when you think about it. THEY had more right to complain than me. They're already old and barely moving! Why on earth would they stick around and listen to me complain? Oh well, at least I got them walking again:).

[randomperson]

Dear M. Thank You Once Again For Your Very Kind Words & Understanding. I Just Finished My First Week On The Job. Very Physical. I'm Not Getting Any Younger So It gets Tougher. And The Pay Is Low. But It Is Work; And As You Said It has been Good For Me To Get Out & Meet New People Again & Feel Part Of Something.

So Hopefully Things Start To Ease Up A Bit & Get Better. My Daughter & Her Boyfriend Are At Least Talking To Me Again. Although I Will Always Be Leary & Not Trusting Of His Intentions.

Random Good To Hear You My Friend. So Sorry To Hear About Your Family. You Have Indeed Had A very Rough Road. Yet You Stay Optimistic & Have Much Faith. You Continue To Inspire Me. My Twin Son As You Know Was Also In A Major Accident & Is Permanently Disabled. Yet He Has Realised So Much In His Life. And Has Helped Me So Much Over The Last Month. Without His Help I Would Not Of Been Able To Get Car Fixed & Get This Job.

As Far As Our Lonliness Random; I Truly Hope Someday We Can Find That Woman That Helps Make Life Complete.

And M. I read Your Poem On Your Post. Beautiful.........Thank You

Sincerely; Jim

Heard a great song as I pulled into the driveway, think it was called Blessings by Laura Story (SP)?. Worth a listen think you will like it

It is a song that you have to listen to for a bit before you get the feel for the underlying message. Very heart felt.

[58corvette]

Dear Athena & Random;

Thank You So Much For Continuing To Be Here On My Post & Writing Such Heartfelt & Encouraging Feedback. It is Truly Appreciated.

Athena The Older COUPLE Is Probably Quite Happy They Still Have Each Other. I Feel You Have Perseverance Yourself & Know You Will Do Quite Well Again......

Boy Did I Dive Right back Into The Work World. This Week I Worked 57 Hrs. 17 Overtime & My Middle Aged Bones & Muscles Are Feeling Every Bit Of It. Tomorrow I Do Laundry & Some Business. And Hopefully Relax A Bit.Than Back To Work. Not Sleeping Very Well, But Anxiety & Depression Is Down, So That's GOOD.

Now It Looks Like My Daughter's Boyfriend Will Be Losing His Job In A Few Weeks As Owner Of Company Sold It & Their Letting People Go. So Once Again We Shall See What My Future Brings. Not Making Enough To Live On My Own & Still Not Sure If My Oldest Son Has A Job Or Is Stable Enough Yet?

I Still Just Feel Empty & Lonely; But One Thing At A Time; I Guess. Being Physically Tired & Drained & Working A Lot With Low Pay Is Not A Good Mix To Find A Lady Yet................................

[Athena]

Dear Athena & Random;

Thank You So Much For Continuing To Be Here On My Post & Writing Such Heartfelt & Encouraging Feedback. It is Truly Appreciated.

Happy to be here for you Jim.

Athena The Older COUPLE Is Probably Quite Happy They Still Have Each Other. I Feel You Have Perseverance Yourself & Know You Will Do Quite Well Again......

Yes - I think they are content. And they are still able to enjoy a beautiful sunny day by the water with each other. Yes - I am perseverant. Unfortunately things just never quite seem to work out. I should win a prize for throwing the most SH-T against the wall in the hopes that some of its gotta stick:D.

I Still Just Feel Empty & Lonely; But One Thing At A Time; I Guess. Being Physically Tired & Drained & Working A Lot With Low Pay Is Not A Good Mix To Find A Lady Yet................................

I can totally relate. Do you fix yourself then go looking, or does finding somebody special inspire you to be who you were meant to be? I know my therapist would say, "You can be accepted just the way you are". But I have a practical nature, and I know it's one heck of a lot easier to find somebody worthwhile if I have something special to offer. A woman with no life, who's constantly an emotional trainwreck, has two challenging young kids and distrusts every man she meets - is not exactly a 'nice guy' magnet :eek:. I am however extremely confident of my ability to attract predators. So for now, I've given up on finding my soul-mate and will put more energy into fixing myself. I don't suppose there's any harm in dating though. Kinda what I've been doing, except that I had more expectations. If I drop the expectations, I think maybe I could be OK with it and just enjoy the present.

[randomperson]

Happy to be here for you Jim.

Yes - I think they are content. And they are still able to enjoy a beautiful sunny day by the water with each other. Yes - I am perseverant. Unfortunately things just never quite seem to work out. I should win a prize for throwing the most SH-T against the wall in the hopes that some of its gotta stick:D.

I can totally relate. Do you fix yourself then go looking, or does finding somebody special inspire you to be who you were meant to be? I know my therapist would say, "You can be accepted just the way you are". But I have a practical nature, and I know it's one heck of a lot easier to find somebody worthwhile if I have something special to offer. A woman with no life, who's constantly an emotional trainwreck, has two challenging young kids and distrusts every man she meets - is not exactly a 'nice guy' magnet :eek:. I am however extremely confident of my ability to attract predators. So for now, I've given up on finding my soul-mate and will put more energy into fixing myself. I don't suppose there's any harm in dating though. Kinda what I've been doing, except that I had more expectations. If I drop the expectations, I think maybe I could be OK with it and just enjoy the present.

Maybe I have some words that can help. To Athena I disagree on one thing I think you are a nice guy magnet.. let me explain what I mean. "Nice guys" look for truth, integrity, kindness. Not into the dating games. Everyone has issues, don't think that your not a great catch. So many shallow people I have met.. mean people. Do not underestimate having a kind heart.

To Jim, congrats on your job!! Focus on the fact that this is the cornerstone for you where you can start to rebuild. What you having been wanting for so long, I am very happy for you!!

I feel empty and lonely myself.. like you are reading my mind.

I can't seem to escape my fears, though I am starting to accept it as a reality which helps with the pain some. I don't think we will ever be perfect.. when I was younger I did choose not to date to work on fixing myself.. 10 years. I am better.. but now women do not approach me like they did. Feels like I missed my chance. I say personally it is all about balance. If you are hurting so much where you could not be happy in any rleationship.. work on yourself first. But personally I wouldn't mind someone with a few issues if they didn't mind mine.

[58corvette]

I haven't been on here much, but still around. Talk about right back into work World. Lots of Hours & Overtime. Just wish Pay was better & Not so Physical. Wearing this Middle Age Man Down A Bit.

But i'm still there & Hoping to get training for other Work while i'm there. My Children are what Continues to keep me Going with some type of Hope.

And a few of the Very Nice & Caring People I Have Met Here as well.

Thank You & The Very Best To Everyone..........

Sincerely; Jim