Victimorthecrime Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Imagine attending Catholic school. There you are, 7 years old and nuns are talking at you for hours every day about what happens after you die. It created an existential crisis in me that lasted decades only to come to the conclusion "it is what it is". Fucking brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Imagine attending Catholic school. There you are, 7 years old and nuns are talking at you for hours every day about what happens after you die. It created an existential crisis in me that lasted decades only to come to the conclusion "it is what it is". Fucking brilliant.did you tell the nuns? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Eckhart Tolle worked for me when I was in recovery. I still hadn't learned how to control or shut off my thoughts back then. I was totally at the mercy of negativity 24/7. I used to use TV, inet or music, but the thoughts would get so bad they would drown everything else out. That kind of escapism just distorts negativity in my view. Being present weakens them because it's a disconnection of a certain part of the brain; when I meditate I just watch the thoughts racing around, like ignoring trolls until they get bored and go away. The problem I found though is that in western society it's hard to find balance, it needs to be healthily adopted into normal life, not just doing it and expecting emotions in other areas to improve. I haven't really figured out how to get back into being present, and I've gotta say I feel a lot worse since. I mean I can meditate but then where is the anxiety I usually have to get me to do things? Zen in is all good if your life doesn't depend on terror to get you from a-b. Maybe the answer is self talk, which I've not been able to do either recently, since there are so many problems I don't even know what to tell myself anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 @ mts, it is what it is, bro. i'm sorry things are sucking so much for you, mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Maybe there is wisdom in knowing that we don't really know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 did you tell the nuns? No I am too afraid they would agree. I believe in this and it's been proven by research that he who talks to nuns will later join the church. Death or glory becomes just another story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 it's been proven by research that he who talks to nuns will later join the church. Death or glory becomes just another story.we certainly don't want that.... Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Must build a habit out of it. Not years. A month at the least as long as you're successfully consistent. That part is the hard part though. How to shift your thinking habits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Must build a habit out of it. Not years. A month at the least as long as you're successfully consistent. That part is the hard part though. How to shift your thinking habitshow many minutes a day? and how much work required after that month?be my guru, doll. can you or anyone else here provide a simple and basic program to which i can adhere? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I dunno if I can, Resolute. As you can see, just like you, Im in this forum as well and not as a counselor. Lol. But I believe what the articles I read say. It starts with catching your own negative thoughts and taking better care of your physical health would greatly help as well. For one thing, it might stabilize some hormones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 http://jamesclear.com/new-habitI might be being naive about this but it takes 21 days to form a habit, or so they say. Im just being hopeful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 An open mind and a lot of hard work...It took me months in therapy just to adjust my thoughts about the word selfish. You might find if you are really attached to some thoughts (as I was) that it is very upsetting at first to allow other possibilities. I know now that if I feel a very strong emotion in response to something I read or hear or if I feel a need to be defensive, there is something there that has deeper meaning about me. So I feel this is always something to explore and learn from.I don't have any answers...just offering my personal experiences. Always wishing you well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 An open mind and a lot of hard work...It took me months in therapy just to adjust my thoughts about the word selfish. You might find if you are really attached to some thoughts (as I was) that it is very upsetting at first to allow other possibilities. I know now that if I feel a very strong emotion in response to something I read or hear or if I feel a need to be defensive, there is something there that has deeper meaning about me. So I feel this is always something to explore and learn from.I don't have any answers...just offering my personal experiences. Always wishing you well.That definitely explains a lot about why I get very protective over the less popular kids and hate the materialistic and shallow. Yup, bully trauma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 @ cd, the article to which you linked actually says it usually takes much longer than three weeks to form a habit. as beth said, it took her months. now multiply beth by ten, and you'll get an idea of how long it would take me. formula for habit forming duration: bethx10=resolute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 @ResoluteWith my psycho-babble aside, I believe with most things there is only ever one relevant question that determines the success or failure in achieving any habit; How far are you willing to go? We all have obstacles and we're all troubled, some of us give in to our urge to quit, while others fight on even though they're exhausted, wounded and scared. Lick your wounds,nurse them, but in the words of Rocky's trainer Mickey ''Get up you son of a bitch''. gone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Get up, Resolute. It doesn't matter how long it takes. It will be worth it. gone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I believe with most things there is only ever one relevant question that determines the success or failure in achieving any goal; How far are you willing to go?i'm nothing if not consistent. as i've said (and hinted) before, i'm not willing to go far for anything anymore. i'm too tired. i'm done, and i've been done for a while now. there's only one thing that will satisfy me, and you know what that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Get up, Resolute. It doesn't matter how long it takes. It will be worth it. thanks dollface. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Zen is my thing too. I hate it. It chose me, I did not choose it. Where I respectfully disagree w Tolle and all the others is that I do not think that enlightenment necessarily helps one's life even a little bit. Ignorance truly is bliss. The happiest guys I know live in their little row homes w their little wives and their little lives and never give a thought to this kind of stuff. Legend has it that there was once a Chinese emperor who made Buddhism the religion of the realm. He summoned the monk Bodhidharma to the palace and asked "what merit have I earned?". "NO MERIT!!!"I dont like the idea of being fully ignorant but maybe giving less meaning to things? I think I can live a happier life when I can finally form a "so what" habit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I dont like the idea of being fully ignorant but maybe giving less meaning to things? I think I can live a happier life when I can finally form a "so what" habit.i don't wanna rain on your parade, cd, but sometimes (not all situations) this requires one to have no pride or dignity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 The culture wars being waged today can be boiled down to one ideological battle: the conflict between those who say "it is what it is" and those who practice relativism in all its forms, which is the same as saying that reality is whatever I make it to be. So no, VOB and SN are as diametrically opposed to one another as it is possible to be. When you know who you are, you either act on it or you kill yourself. I'm a coward, which is why I won't die.And here I am wanting to form my own little party. "Who cares! Now, what's for dinner?"Oh wait, that sorta sounds like I belong woth VOB's party, doesnt it? But then I also agree with what SN says. Lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 i don't wanna rain on your parade, cd, but sometimes (not all situations) this requires one to have no pride or dignity.No pride = humility Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ChinaDoll Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 TMI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted October 3, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 ... "Who cares! Now, what's for dinner?"fortune cookies; or is it misfortune cookies? oh well.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 I’m quietly slipping over to the other side Klingsor, and very soon, I could be the villain everyone deserves, but not the one they need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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