How do you suppose conversations where pedophiles sit around justifying each other's attractions and behaviors affects abuse survivors? How many times have you seen me spiral on here? Why is it ok to listen to you justifying your attractions but it's not ok for us to point out why that might maybe be messed up?

I don't know Ehren and I have no intention of being mean to him and will happily befriend him on here and talk to him. it's possibly I'm just triggered at the moment and need to calm the fuck down. i don't fucking know. But tell Ehren to breathe and consider that we are not attacking him, but rather, certain behaviors.

Well that's okay because you're both consenting. The child is NOT consenting. I love children enough to not hurt them. And truthfully, I love them enough that I'd distance myself from them if I ever found it necessary.

Once again, you have missed my point entirely. I don't know if it's age or cognitive dissonance (look that one up yet?), but you seem to do this a lot.

I've been PMing Ehren and talking with him. He's been hurt by this whole conversation' date=' and feels like he's going to spiral if he continues. I advised him to stop responding here, and he agrees that it's best.

Furthermore, while I'm not Ehren, we suffer with similar issues, and I've gotten to know him a little bit over the last few days.[/quote']

MM

I think you need a reality check

You are a 17 year old CHILD

You are NOT a speaker for any other member on this or any other site.

Ehren is a MAN. not a CHILD. And as such is perfectly capable of determining whether or not to continue a conversation.

You cannot possibly speak for another. You can only speak for yourself and your own situation.

Yours and Ehrens situation may be similar - but it is not the same.

By continuing discussing what Ehren 'feels' but through your eyes, and your interpretation is only fueling the situation, and not really being very helpful.

Pseud, actually, I understand exactly what that's like. I know because on Psychforums, that's mostly what you get: Pedophiles believing what they want to believe and convincing others of the same. Do you not think that's true for people like me? These debates go on, and the truth is that whether they're right or not, it triggers me and others like me. That's why I'm not so active there. That's why inf left. That's why I convinced Ehren he should leave there. Hell, I just posted about this problem earlier today in a thread about B4U-ACT.

There are better ways to get a message across than by saying "You're evil and MUST stop what you're doing RIGHT NOW!" It's sometimes more effective to rationalize with the person. Give him/her time. Let him/her start therapy.

Ehren signed off because he was becoming extremely upset. Before he left, I told him to take some deep breaths and to distract himself. I'm sure he'll be fine.

NO shit Musicman. No its NOT okay, because it is illegal..., oh god, i feel like im talking to a high school kid. oh right , i am talking to a high school kid, who feels that its his obligation to defend the adult who can't speak for himself. i'm outa here. Thanks for that engaging conversation ehren. I feel much better about the thought of you teaching kids, after all that obfuscation and rationalizing. Things are really looking up for you. For christ sakes ehren, at least get therapy for the sake of a sane perspective on your life. This is a nightmare.

Sue, you're right...

There's not much you just said that I can refute. All I can say is that I didn't tell Ehren he had to leave here. I saw he wasn't doing well, I SUGGESTED it to him, and he agreed.

But you're right. He can make his own choices and fight his own fights. I'm not in a place to do that for him. Thanks for the reality check.

It's WAY too late here, so I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight, everyone.

Before I go to bed, I want to say one last thing. I am fully aware that children cannot consent to anything because they can never understand what they're consenting to any they can be manipulated into it quite easily. Therefore, anything I ever did with a child would be rape, it would be evil. I've never had any delusions about that, even when I was 13 and this was all brand new for me. I find the idea of acting on these impulses to be completely disgusting. I have never thought about acting on these impulses, even momentarily, nor have I ever wanted to because I know it would hurt the child in a very deep and irreparable way. When I hear about someone hurting a child it fills me such a deep sadness and rage, I'm not really quite sure how to define it, perhaps I'll try at a later date.

I'm truly sorry if I what I said brought up past trauma for anyone. It wasn't my intention and once again, I'm truly sorry for doing so.

I'm going to bed. If anyone wants to talk to me about this later or read my other blog where I really explain everything feel free to PM me.

I'm torn as to whether I should be profusely apologizing or standing my ground. I don't know. I kind of think I had some valid things to say and while you may not be as delusioned as some of these people you speak of, I kind of think you still have a lot of realizations you are blind to just yet.

whoa.

3 different, third party adults, all just gave the same argument unbeknownst to one another. Take that as a sign that your missing something MM.

hey everyone,

sorry i wasn't active in all of this, but i just didn't want to get involved.

im going to go ahead and get to bed.

goodnight all,

hope nobody is feeling too bad about what happened

I'm torn as to whether I should be profusely apologizing or standing my ground. I don't know. I kind of think I had some valid things to say and while you may not be as delusioned as some of these people you speak of, I kind of think you still have a lot of realizations you are blind to just yet.

I know this was aimed at Ehren, but speaking for myself, I can accept that. I have a lot of delusions, and though I've come to certain realizations, there are still many more that must be made.

Goodnight inf (and everyone else.) Sweet dreams

I know this was aimed at Ehren, but speaking for myself, I can accept that. I have a lot of delusions, and though I've come to certain realizations, there are still many more that must be made.

it was aimed at both of you, though I don't know ehren as well to really be saying it as strongly in his direction.

A suggestion--open your mind a little more. It seems that once you've decided you have figured something out, your blinders come on and you are unable to see that you might be missing something. Always always always try and poke holes in your current understanding of anything. This is how you will learn.

Good night Inf

hey everyone, i have some bad news to post.....

the doctor visit is definitely canceled. it was confirmed today around 6 am or so that a hurricane (Hurricane Irene) is heading directly towards us and will hit on fridaym (saturday at the latest).

so basically the hospitals, schools, and doctors offices are going to go into shelter mode starting friday, and any non-critical appointments are being canceled, we got a call this morning telling us they were sorry, but the physicals were canceled because they were not critical and the office had to concentrate on relief related things.

we are still considering whether we are gong to evacuate or not, but regardless doctor's visit is definitely off.

may not be on for a while after today, since we are either gone or the power will probably be out for extended periods.

I hope the hurricane does not cause serious damage, inf. Please take care of yourself and stay safe.

The discussions and differing opinions are okay, everyone, as long as it stays respectful and within the forum rules. Please take care with your own triggers and step away when necessary.

Hope everyone has a nice day. It's raining here...

ok, things have been made up.

my mom and i are staying behind and the rest of the family is leaving.

brb in a bit, goin to the store to stock up on suipplies, just in case

Stay safe, inf.

it was aimed at both of you' date=' though I don't know ehren as well to really be saying it as strongly in his direction.

A suggestion--open your mind a little more. It seems that once you've decided you have figured something out, your blinders come on and you are unable to see that you might be missing something. Always always always try and poke holes in your current understanding of anything. This is how you will learn.[/quote']

My bad, pseud. I thought it was aimed at Ehren only because that line about not being sure whether to apologize or not. First off, let me say that I don't think you have any reason to apologize, and I'm glad you haven't. I've spent a lot of time today thinking about all of this, and truthfully, you made a lot of really valid points last night. Furthermore, I read the response you posted in Ehren's blog, and I wholeheartedly agree with it. I will never go into any profession where I'm around children UNLESS I can get this whole thing figured out with my therapist and the attraction diminishes. If not, well, I can always still volunteer for charities that help children.

I've got a lot to figure out. I'm going to need a lot of therapy. I just hope that someday, I can live past all of this.

Inf, I really hope you stay safe...

thanks mm and everyone else that is wishing me well. i think it will be fine.

I didn't realize they were expecting such a big, widespread hurricane. I thought they were predicting a tropical storm.

started out that way i think, but gained speed and turned into a category 3 hurricane

Damn, it looks like the hurricane is going to be really big. Is there no mandatory evacuation? I just read that New Jersey's being evacuated.