I'm sorry star:(

I love cougar tracks. It has fudgy dark chocolate with peanut butter somehow in there set in vanilla ice cream.

We are gonna need 3 pints!!!!! (or do ye all need more??)

i've never tried that one..! i think starry is gone:(

I am here Blossom. Right now my favorite is pistachio

i've never tried that one either..

did the deep breathing help?

Is it green?

Sometime check this site out, ye all. When I am at my very worst most desperate state, this is what I do. You both know how to do mindfulness breathing, so you'd be able to do it. I'm not saying it would be the thing for you, but just in case, I want to share it:

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php

Does cookie dough have any choclolate in it?

pistachio is greean yes, it is really good, only just recently discovered it and could live on it.

my parents waant to know whats wrong with me, you should see how they're both acting, I am too afraid to be down thre at the same time too afraid not too, that means thre is no answer if you were wondering.

breathing helps me yes, but only if i keep doing it

oh, that's really interesting finding! I'm going to try that later. hmmmm, no, there's no chocolate in it.......

I'll bet it is vanillay!

Ever had pumpkin pie ice cream? Oh that is the best!

yeah, it's vanillay!!(is that a word...?)

no, i've never had pumkin pie...i don't think we have that flavour in ireland.. how come ye get lots of cool flavours in america and we get all the crappy normal ones in ireland..?

Oh you know how it is over here, there is such a huge population to support all kinds of stuff, so the selection is unbelievable. It's starting to fall apart a bit though, because the economy is really down, so the selections are getting smaller. But lots of ice cream flavors are still around. Apple pie ice cream is good too--- cinnamony

I have had pumpkin icecream, and yes it is the best.

I just did that breathing for each of my parents, do you think they're still downstairs, one angry and the other upset and irritable, both about to hurt each other.

while i'm up here hurting both of them

this doesn't work. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

I am scared guys, I actually think I got myself so messed up in the head I got hives on my arm and nowI have not one but two zits on my stupid face

what can i do ??

the minutes are going so fast befor i know it it will be too late, my mom will hate me, I'll hate me, it won't be good, I guess I should just suck it up and go down there. thing is I can feel the tension from downstairs leaking straight into my room, I want to go awayyyy

Do the breathing for YOU star!!!!!!

It is 8:30. I am going to do Tonglen for me, for you, for Blossom until 8:40, OK?

Just try to have compassion for you, trying so hard to survive in this horrible circumstance, just love you, even if it's a very small amount. God says a mustard seed of faith is all we need. Can you get to that teeny peace? I will breathe for you in solidarity.

star I think I have one of your pimples now......

Are you OK?

yeah, I breathed for a while until my throat was too dry from the air. I forced myself downstairs. I hate this. Really, I feel like such a loser. Friday night, me mom and dad, I might as wel be 80 and on my way out of this life.

You aren't going to solve this tonight--it just won't happen. You are taking the steps you can to work on it, but right now it is not fixed. Let it go for tonight if you can. No more trying to work it out in your head. You can be angry, but ruminating thoughts will not do anything for you tonight.

findng, I'm not trying to solve anything. I'm simply trying to make it through another night, trying to find something to make it easier.

Maybe what makes it me looking for a solution is that even if I make it through tonight, it just starts all over again tomorrow.

My therapist didn't even write me back. Thanks doctor..

actually, we were supposed to talk tonight anyway, on instant messenger. Whatever, I needed help and he didn't answer. I'm sure he'll tell me how it' my fault.

To change how you feel you have to change your thinking. The best way is to cease attaching to any thought whatsoever for a set amount of time, say 10 minutes. When thoughts come, do not attach ANYTHING to them. Just let them rise and fall, no reaction. If you can't do it for 10 minutes, try 4.

Of course only monks can live their life like this all the time. But it can work for you to do it long enough to shift your feeling. It requires some effort, but it can be done.

Mixing up feeling and thinking all together is a source of great pain, mentally and physically. It is like driving with your brakes on.

Separating them out, even for a few minutes, gives you a chance.

Don't attach any feeling or judgement or value to anything that pops in your head for 10 (or 4) minutes. Think of them as being in time out.

here's what's happening at the moment...he gets mad and yells at tv....she gets mad at him yelling, so passive aggressively she turns up the tv louder and louder..and him, well there is nothing passive about his aggression, so if he notices what she's doing all hell will break loose

i'm sorry star, i wish i could be more helpful.. is there any way you can escape up to your room?

How do I know what feeling will be there after this one?

It's hard to not attach any feeling to my thoughts cause I am reacting to millions of mini situations going on with my parents. The phone just rang, my dad says from the other room, you got that?, my mom with an attitude slightly loud intentionally trying to provoke him, says nooo, but I'll get up....don't know the outcome cause I literally ran to my room. PATHETIC, little baby girl.

Star, here is a simpler way to say the same thing. I think my first try was too confusing.

To change how you feel you have to change your thinking behind the feelings. They are too tangled together right now for you to be able to get far with that. First untangle the thoughts and feelings. Mixed up together in a tangle like this, it is like driving with your brakes on. It is a highly anxious situation.

One way to untangle is to cease attaching to any thought whatsoever for a set amount of time, say 10 minutes. When thoughts come, do not attach ANYTHING to them. Just let them rise and fall, no reaction. If you can't do it for 10 minutes, try 4....Don't attach any feeling or judgement or value to anything that pops in your head for 10 (or 4) minutes.

blossom, you are helpful just being my friend, thank you, I'm sorry to write all this in your blog, I just am having the hardest time and I can't get past it I am really worried, I need to shutup about it, I know. It is okay to tell me to shut up, I would understand. I keep telling myself to shutup but than I type away. It's worse when I'm not writing, how do I battle these thoughts when I am alone???

no, please don't shutup starry....i don't mind you writing in my blog.. i just want you to feel better.