Those thoughts are usually about wanting the pain to stop, and not knowing any other way to make the pain stop. Is that what's going on?

yeah i suppose

Tell us about your pain, if it isn't too much for you, Blossom.

i don't know how finding. that's the problem. it's stuck inside me.

Where is it stuck? Is it in a region of your body, or a place in your thinking? My issues usually get stuck in both places.

i think it's stuck in both. and i'm not good at putting it into words.

You could be tired out.

i've been going to bed earlier than usual all week and i had my nap earlier aswel. i think i'm just permanently like this and i'm unhelpable.

Did you know that emptiness is sometimes just emptiness? A certain amount of it is natural.

no i didn't know that. i hate emptiness.

Ohhhh well no wonder then. I'm sorry you hurt when you are empty. Here's something reeeeallly weird. Buddhist monks and nuns strive and strive to achieve exactly that: emptiness. And you're there already!!!!!! They would be very envious. It is one of THE most important steps before achieving enlightenment.

why would anyone want to feel this way..? maybe i'll become a nun instead of going to college.

But Blossom is empty because she's an abstinent vegetarian ...

This might not make sense, but emptiness is EXTREMELY powerful. IF you can avoid attaching bad feelings to it.

it's not a nice feeling. i really just want to get rid of it altogether. how can it be powerful?

It works like this. Say you want to end all sorrow. Become totally empty. Poof! There is no one at home to feel sorrow. Now, I don't particularly go along with that, though I do appreciate what Buddhists mean by it. I learned another use of the power of emptiness...

what's the other use?

Let's say you want inspiration for a new series of paintings... or you are looking for a solution to a problem... Clearly state what it is that you are needing. Next, go totally empty. That is where your answer will show up. I'm not saying going empty by will is easy. It isn't. That is why you are kind of lucky to be already empty. I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but, from another perspective, there are powerful uses for emptiness!!!

i suppose it might come in useful in college

It's most useful when it is pure. Now that you know what can be done with it, you might be more inclined to value it. The worst is to muddy it with negative thinking. I don't think you can use it for much then. Hey! we are all learning when it comes to this negative thinking stuff!!!

[are you also abstinent vegetarian empty??? Have you been eating anything ]

i'd rather not feel it atall:(

[not much. i've locked myself in my room since i came home from work]

I'm sorry you hurt, Blossom.