Worries about pedophilia

[Symora]

Terrified, you worry too much!!! If you are not going to these websited, why do you worry so much :confused: You do realize that this has become an obsession for you, right? It's not based on reality, but rather on some imaginaries scenarios you are creating in your head by focusing on this too much. What are you getting out of this that makes you return to it over, and over, and over again?

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Terri, just because you've never been hit by a meteorite, doesn't mean you never will.

You had to go to Cyprus to find an article (how far away is that again? Don't worry, I know; just reminding you), and then, it was written in a way that suggested it wasn't something that happens often, even there (otherwise, why put it in the news?)

Instead of spending your time imagining them busting you, try imagining the fireball, as that meteorite zooms through the atmosphere, randomly searching for your house to crash into ...

The odds are similar.

[TerrifiedUser]

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[IrmaJean]

But what about the rest of your life, Terrified? If you spend all of your time worrying and obsessing over what could happen, imagining every possible worst case scenario over and over again, you can't be inside the moments of today. This thought pattern is preventing you from living your life. Is there anything going on in your world that you are trying to escape from? Do these thoughts feel out of control? Terrified, I also sometimes deal with obsessive thought patterns. When they get going they can be all-consuming and cause serious distress, agitation and anxiety. Do the thoughts themselves cause you distress? When you find your mind is taking off with intrusive thoughts, do you have any methods to try and stop them? You deserve some peace of mind with this. Have you contacted a therapist yet?

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Random acts of charity often have that effect. :-)

What would you say to the idea of going into a career of fighting cyber-crime, in some fashion, Terri? I think you'd be good at it.

[David O]

Terri,

Good for you!!! A positive move for the moment and it does bring about good feelings.

I do want to caution you (and I feel terrible for spitting in your soup here), however, that this can lead, over time, to a "reaction formation." This a fairly complicated situation in which a character trait or attitude creates a polar opposite behavior as a defense against the initial feelings. For example, being extremely generous can be used to hide greed and hoarding, or modesty can be used to hide megelomania, or giving things away can hide the desire to steal and take from others. Sometimes excessive kindness can hide a sadistic and callous character trait. The mind can play games we are unaware of--- isn't repression wonderful?

Reaction-formation can be seen as a psychic conflict and a defense against instinctive reactions. In your case, it could (not necessarily does) look like this: you are aroused by child pornography and so you use reaction formation by taking on an attitude of criticism toward seeing it on the web, so you begin reporting sites. At first this seems like an excellent solution, but soon, you begin to hunt for sites daily, then hourly. You eventually begin attending conferences and rallies against it and start traveling to become an advocate against it. While this looks very good on the outside and there seems to be a powerful and positive cause, in reality, it may hide a continued desire and curiosity.

I raise this not so much to discourage your efforts so much as to encourage you to look within yourself so that you don't trade one obsession for another because the deeply rooted arousal to an unacceptable behavior (watching child porn) still presents itself, but now in a different form. And underlying the implementation of this new tactic (defense) may only serve to direct your obsessions to another side of the same issue. In this scenario, it is usually assumed that the original, rejected impulse does not vanish, but persists, unconscious, in its original infantile form, and has gone underground for the time being.

In the end, Terrified, the struggle may only take a different form. May I suggest you take that very bright mind of yours and post in other threads. Read carefully what others struggle with and share your wisdom. This may give you some perspective and may also cause you to deviate some in your one-dimensional drive.

One quick question--- have you set up an appointment to see a professional? If so when and will you keep it? If you've answered this already, my apologies for being repetitive.

Later Dude,

David

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[malign]

Well, sure, they discourage cyber-crime fighting by individuals, the same way they discourage vigilantes from enforcing the laws. We have organizations whose job it is to do that for us. What I was suggesting was the you might consider a career with one of those organizations. However, David's point is that doing that might only prolong the interest.

I've never thought you were obsessed with children (a pedophile). It sounds more like you're obsessed with how horrible it would be if you were one. In other words, you're obsessed with something that isn't true. That means that your best bet, as David suggests, is to see a professional about how to stop obsessing. Would you do that, for yourself, please?

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[TerrifiedUser]

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[David O]

Terrifed,

To repeat: DUDE... what are ya doing dude??????:eek: I love ya man," but you've returned to the old issue, only, "the names have changed to protect the innocent!:(". Are we having a reaction formation moment? Go back and reread the post... do not pass go... do not collect 200 pesos, dollars, Euros, Lira, Pounds ... do not attempt to adjust the channels on your own... go directly to your time out chair and face the corner for 10 minutes!

Concerned,

David

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[David O]

Sorry... I should have clarified. I wasn't suggesting that you were attracted to child porn in my last reply-- it was to the obssessive symptoms only. I'm sorry Terrified, I should have been much more careful in my response.

I need therapy. There must be an answer for all these worries somewhere. I'm just too pathetic and cowardly to ever go out and get it

YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! We all suuport this b/c we are concerned when we see you suffer needlessly. Once you've walked into the office and within a few minutes, you'll have crossed that nervous/anxious/fear threshhold and be on your way. It's like a race and you have all these nervous twitches before the start, but once the gun goes off at the start and you're going around the first curve of the 400 metres, the butterflies leave you and you're on a roll.

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Terri,

Repeat after me: there are no answers!

At least, not out here.

Please talk to someone about your excessive fears; that's the only way you'll get back to feeling like all those "normal" people you're angry at.

What is it you're doing wrong?

You're not acting to get yourself the proper kind of help.

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Thoughts are thoughts.

You're looking for things to be afraid of.

It doesn't matter what I say; you won't stop until you get help.

Please do that.

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

I'm just curious where David gets these ...

Best way to reduce cell phone radiation? Turn it off.

Cattle put out more methane gas, is it a problem? Only if you're standing behind one.

Is there a "Join Facebook Day", and if so, why?

Poor people are hoarding all the money? Huh?

The grass is always greener in the neighbor's yard, but they still have to mow it.

Terri, this particular activity, while enjoyable, isn't going to get you to stop worrying, either. How about talking to a professional, which might?

[TerrifiedUser]

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