Worries about pedophilia

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Terri, face it: you will never find peace based on what you read on the internet, simply because people lie.

If not a police officer, tell a therapist. A therapist isn't obligated to tell anyone else unless there's a real danger to you or to someone else, and from what I understand from what you've said, there isn't.

[TerrifiedUser]

g

[malign]

Son, you will find peace the same place we all do, the only place it exists: inside yourself.

But it may not be easy to find, on your own; that's what the therapist is for.

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Go for it. It's not nearly as scary as your mind makes it. :-)

[TerrifiedUser]

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[malign]

Ask your mum to make an appointment for you to see a doctor. Tell him that you have obsessive fears and ask to see a therapist. You don't have to tell your mother or the GP what exactly you're afraid of. And as an adult, even if you told the GP, they couldn't tell your mother because of privacy laws.

The British health care system is different from ours, but those things are true on both sides of the Atlantic.

[TerrifiedUser]

g

[malign]

Like I say, it might depend on the system.

Here, for me to be covered by my (private) insurance, I have to see my physician first, for a referral. Don't, if you don't have to.

For one thing, a lot of things that seem psychological can have an easily-ruled-out biological origin. So, for instance, they usually test depressed people for low thyroid function, because that can cause similar symptoms. It's usually easier to rule out biological disease with a test than it is to diagnose psychology, so they often start with that.

To go further, if you're an adult, you probably don't really need to go through your mum, do you?

It's because you're considering it that we're having this conversation. ;-)

I personally think it's what you need, and I'm trying to address whatever concerns you might have about it.

[TerrifiedUser]

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[TerrifiedUser]

g.

[TerrifiedUser]

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Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[malign]

Terri,

No internet search will help you.

If you find something, like the blocked site you mentioned, it increases your fear.

If you don't find something, you have no way to know if it's there, just on a later page.

Whatever reassurance you might get from any of it depends entirely on the truth or falsity of the random text someone typed as the caption of the picture. You know that's how they advertise; they'll say anything in a caption. How often have you searched for "nude" and found people wearing at least some clothes?

No website anywhere knows whether you're a pedophile or not. That should be obvious, because they don't know you.

Go talk to someone, privately, so that they can get to know you, and more importantly, so that you can get to know you. That's the only way you'll ever get closure on this.

[TerrifiedUser]

g

[malign]

A phone box is the least traceable thing, that's all.

It won't help them to find which phone booth you used.

At that point, what makes it hard to ask your questions?

If you're going to worry about whether they can trace you from the website, you'll find anxious ways to avoid doing it.

Whatever method you choose, please don't allow yourself to keep putting it off. Pick one and do it; you're killing yourself worrying about this.

[TerrifiedUser]

g

[malign]

So, how is asking a vague question of the police, online, that much different from what you're doing here? Keeping it vague will give your anxiety a way to question it later. "Maybe if I had told them all of it, they would answer differently" ... It won't help you if you can't say all of it.

[TerrifiedUser]

g

[malign]

No one's completely safe anywhere, Terri: the sky might fall on them.

In my opinion, certainly from a phone booth for a limited time, you could safely tell them everything.

The same goes for a therapist.

[TerrifiedUser]

g

Edited July 11, 2013 by TerrifiedUser

[malign]

As far as I can tell, you've looked at some pictures that you worry were underage, and then you've made a lot of searches trying to prove yourself wrong.

If you were a pedophile, you would have looked at some pictures that you hoped were underage, and then made a lot of searches to find more of them.

No, I think you've explained yourself quite well, in this thread.

Well, they need a valid e-mail address to respond ... I'm not sure what "valid name" means, in this day and age. About all I can think of is that they wouldn't reply to "Donald Duck" or "Sleepless in Seattle".

I prefer the phone call idea, precisely because it's hard to say this out loud. For one thing, you'd have to ask yourself why is it so hard, if you really are what you're afraid of. Plus, it prepares you for talking to someone in person. :-)

[TerrifiedUser]

g

[malign]

You've already heard my opinion; you can go back and read it.

I don't want to repeat it because it only gives you short-term reassurance.

That makes sense: why would you give much weight to what an anonymous person says over the internet?

What I hope you'll do is find someone to help you ask, and answer from within yourself, the question that you're afraid of. I can't see anything less giving you the peace you seek.

[TerrifiedUser]

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