Recruitment operation

[samspruce]

Hello Born

Nice to hear from you again. Sometimes when we don't have so much time it's because there are things going on that are evidently more important to us and that often means things are going a little better than they were. I hope that is the case with you. Me - I still have loads of time

Keep well and do drop by now and again.

Thinking of you

Sam

[Born to Perish]

Thanks sweetie! Nice to hear from you as well! Oh my gosh, you like won't be able to believe how much work they gave me today. It was unbearable! I am still very busy and I am reading a book called "In Cold Blood". It's pretty good so far, and it has to be, because I am being forced to read it. It scares me that in college it will be a whole lot worse. Well... I think we have a winner here.... LOL! Who else but BORN! Giggity! Oh! Lol! How are you Sam? I am doing great! Still free and functional as usual, but I'd like to hear more about your job if that's okay. You are really awesome for sticking with me. Thank you! Let's DO IT TO IT!!!! LOL! "EXTREMELY GOOFY MOVIE"! :cool:

[Born to Perish]

What happened here? If you guys are still in town come here for a second and say something to me if you please. I am going to talk to more people here. I met a lot of friends at the mental hospital. It was pretty cool, but you do what you must to get out. I have been flooded with work for the past 2 weeks. It is sooo SAD! Can they lay off me for once? Hey Samspruce where are you?!!! Did you already tell me about your occupation. If you did I'm sorry for asking, I just talk so much I try to get others to talk about themselves sometime. I'll be back later to see who stopped by... ta ta! :cool:

[samspruce]

Hello Born

I have no idea. Where did the week go? I must have missed your previous post. My life is all mixed up. It is such a long story that I couldn't begin to explain it. What I "do" is software engineering. Well that is according to our culture's definition of what one "does". Rather like what sort of an ant are you?

I spent too many years at Art College doing abstract non-narrative film making and related stuff. Then I did a Masters Degree in Computing Science and am very well qualified to write software. But... trouble is I didn't learn the "be a selfish git" lesson. So I basically get abused and underpaid and am currently without the prospect of a job (and broke) (well £50,000 in debt with not a house or a pension or a bean). Silly thing is I am good at software engineering but not so hot at being submissive and licking other people's bottoms. So at one stage in my life I was a nearly famous drummer and then a nearly famous film maker and then a nearly successful software engineer being sent all over the world to exotic places for pharmaceutical companies (There are some interesting stories there - They are mafia in disguise). Then I met a very complex psychological unit and found myself married to it. It decided (because it had multiple personality and one of them was psychopathic and another had an Oedipus Complex that the thing to do was to cause as much hell on Earth for its daughter as possible. So me and my daughter (also of said unit) were emotionally and psychologically wrung out in the courts and disposed of into the pits of destitution and despair.

I am now struggling and sinking. But hey - It's like a good film. If it gets a good ending it will all have been worth it. Just at the moment I would destroy the entire world in a nuclear holocaust and die laughing. But, you see, I'm not diagnosed as mentally ill - ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh - and for those readers who don't get it - remember art, self expression, integrity, honesty, reality and all that stuff? (Is this all too heavy for this forum?)

Stick with it Born you are one in a billion. (And that is a small number!) - Watch this... If you counted all the molecules in your body at a rate of 1 every second it would take you 420 million times the age of the universe to count them all! That is a big number - and there are nearly 7 billion people on this planet today. So if God was counting human molecules at 1 per second it would only take him/her about 3 quintillion times the age of the universe. (A quintillion is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000.)

[Luna-]

I'm still in town, BTP.

[Born to Perish]

Hey Luna! Hi Samspruce, um I feel very bad for you right now. You are such a good person and they are not supposed to treat you like that. Maybe you should let them know who you are and then they'll bow down like pathetic fools. You are truly an amazing person and I can't believe you are really here. It is a phenomenon to say the least that you could have connected with me in that way. You seem as if you have lived for quite a while, I haven't lived very long though. People like you and me often get treated as misfits and as if we don't matter. What's sad is that my time for that pain hasn't come yet and I AM ALREADY TIRED OF IT. This is not good... It was a little hard for me to understand whether you are still employed or not... Could you tell me what a software engineer is though, I have only a mere hunch as to what it means. And Luna, would you mind telling me how you are doing? I just want to know, because when people mess with my allies I must know at once so I can call in reinforcements. Seriously. I swear I would. I love the country we live in. FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS A LIE THOUGH. SO IS LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. Hell, these are litterally GOD given rights we have. It did not need to be declared or anything. God gave us the ability to walk and talk. :confused: Thank you God. Why does it have to be written down.

[samspruce]

Hello Born

A software engineer is someone who writes software for computer systems. Ada Lovelace (daughter of Lord Byron the poet) was historically the first software engineer because she knew Charles Babbage who in some sense invented the computer and she wrote programs for his invention. I basically write software for the Windows operating system. So when you run something like Word on your computer it is a piece of software that someone (like me) has written.

I'm not employed and am worse than broke because I owe a lot of money and have no income to speak of. I spend more every month than I can get in. We, my daughter and I, live in the attic of my father's house and he, it turns out, is a miserable, authoritarian, control freak and is destroying us inch by inch. Soon the little bit of cash I have will run out and if I haven't found an income by then things will get even worse.

I simply cannot tell you how dreadful things have been because it would take far too long. But my wonderful daughter became the weapon of choice for that malfunctioning biological blob when it initiated a divorce. For 6 years now we have lived like refugees and said daughter has had a rough time of it too.

And my health seems to get worse and worse. And I see all that has happened in the light of unresolved distress in humans which, not being experienced and resolved, is simply passed around. It is a kind of blindness. It gives rise to war, oppression, cruelty and pain. The rise in mental illness in our culture and the rise of disease is significantly down to this malfunctioning.

I can see it in many paradigms (ways of understanding things) and the trusty "good & evil" paradigm is simply a primitive revelation of this dynamic. Like you put it: freedom and the pursuit of happiness are "literally GOD given rights". It is reality. And so long as humanity doesn't "get it" they cannot live in harmony with this incredible reality whilst they continue to deny it.

But staying with the paradigm of "good & evil" there is no worry because we are reaching an apex of the tension and Armageddon (the final battle between good and evil) is just around the corner. I know where I'm putting my bets

Born, you have more to give to this place than most. You are special and insightful. I am honoured to have made your acquaintance and may it be eons before you perish.

[Born to Perish]

I liked what you said at the end. It was touching. I don't know what to say except: Since you are so smart and you are poor as well, people need to help you, like welfare and social security and all kinds of other companies right, I am quite naive of all of this, because I am not yet an adult. I wish I could help, I don't have it so bad anymore, I mean I still hear the voice of this demon, but other than that I am not in any trouble so... hey you know this guy over the internet wanted me to send him money? I don't know how to do that, but if I did I'd try to help you. I don't have a lot of money, because I'm still a minor and I don't have a job. I sometimes harbor hatred in my heart for individuals who would take something good like you and try to poison it either that or beat it up. It's so sad it makes me want to cry. I am in absolute disbelief. I don't know if I'll ever think of you in the same way, because I'll always know how you struggle. I hope this doesn't make you regret telling me. If you don't want to talk about it anymore I understand. My condolences to you Samspruce. You deserve much better, I should be in your position and you should be in mine. Sure I'd die quickly, but it would be better for you. You're litterally a life saver who needs saving. Many blessings to you. Luna I'd still like to hear from you okay... WINDA WINDA. Sorry... Please respond guys.

[Luna-]

Hi BTP

I'm struggling a bit at the moment, so I don't have much to say. But I'll get back on top and come and chat again.

[samspruce]

Hello Born

You are very sweet. I totally agree with you that it breaks one's heart to see these injured people breaking others because they are so damaged themselves. I don't really understand it but the irony is that I really do feel sorry for them because they are evidencing their pain in their overtly contradictory behaviour. But I am also human and I hurt and then I get frustrated, angry, despairing, distressed and all the rest of the ... er, how does one say S**T politely? You are so kind and I am grateful for your offer of help. As they say, it's the thought that counts, and the money wouldn't solve my problems (a lot of it would but that is another thing). What I need is to get unhooked from "their" junk and to find a way to earn a living. Unfortunately I am in a trap at the moment and I understand it but that doesn't simply provide the solution. You can know you are trapped in a sticky tar pit but that isn't the same as knowing how to get out.

And you say I deserve better. I agree. We all do. And there is one good thing about all my problems, I wouldn't change what I have done to have it any other way. What I mean by that is that I am me whether anyone else likes it or not and I am proud to be me even if they try to make me feel or act otherwise. As my daughter has pointed out I wouldn't be me if I had done things differently and I know there is no one else I would rather be. (I just want being me to feel better.)

I like your bit about not thinking of me the same now you know I struggle. Quite honestly Born I think I have been to hell and back a few times and I wonder how I am still alive. But that is just what it feels like to me. The bad thing is that it is screwing with my brain. The good thing is that I might get more sense of meaning this way than if I had had a cushy job and kind of conformed. Where would that ever get me? My solicitor once said that I get what I want. I didn't understand her at the time but I do now. I will not bend to their will. If they threaten to kill me they will just have to do it because I would rather be dead than cow-tow to them. So it is not the pain that I want but it is the freedom - and I guess I get that in my heart. And for the passing observer what I mean for example is I will not betray my friends and I will not lie to strangers to get money and I will not do the bullies bidding for them. That, of course, is why they pick on me. I am a threat. And very proud of it

And one day I just might make enough money to get me out of this hole.

I'll keep trying till I drop.

Whoops! I just fell over.

[Born to Perish]

You are starting to sound a little like myself Samspruce. I think that's cool. I've never met anotheer person who is actually this similar to me. You say you'd rather be dead than a puppet right? Me too. That's why even though I am happier now I am still born to perish. I do not intend to change this alias, because it really means something to me. Some say it's negative, but I feel that it opens the dorway to more positive areas and a happier life. It does depend on the person. Samspruce have you ever thought about getting a doctorate degree? I wanted one at first, but now I'll settle for masters. I'm not sure if you are in the position right now, but once you get back on top, I'm sure this will save you from ending up in the same situation. Or at least I hope so... Could you Tell me if maybe you are in your current situation, because of the recession. Alot of people are having problems with that. I don't know what's going on with it all, but it seems scary. END. Come back okay! Luna if you aren't in a good situation I understand, I just hope it gets resolved. Go to the people, that's what I do when I have a problem. I'll see you later Luna and Samspruce!

[samspruce]

Hello pilgrim27. You say "You write eloquently..." Who is "you"?

If you (pilgrim27 ) are referring to me (Sam Spruce) then I suspect I agree with you. I am in a rush right now but will say more later (always later).

In the mean time also...

Hello Born - I'll get back in a few hours and hope to comment more.

[samspruce]

Hi Born - Yes I have thought of doing a PhD but only since the divorce but have been too anxious, desperate, worried, looking after my egg (daughter) and moving five times (by force). So I would love to but maybe in the future.

Also a PhD won't get me out of financial trouble. The calm and focus might, but the paperwork is like a medal - it seems to mean more to others who wish they had one.

No, I am not in my current position because of the recession. Well, not directly. I think there are always people up and down and recession is the overall average. So a small dip in the average has a few more people down than before but has a significant effect on the country. However, there are deep connections but that is just more of my theory.

You say it seems scary. I used to feel that way. Possibly having nothing (relatively speaking) to lose I care less, I don't know. But one thing is for sure (in my view) any outside threat will attach itself to inner insecurity and allow some discharge of those inner unfelt emotions. The usual result is that people think it is the outside thing that is causing the feelings. No - just triggering stuff that is stuck inside. Things can be scary but they also evoke the inner stuff. Whilst one responds to the world as if it is "now" causing the feelings they cannot be resolved. It is the inner insecurity which needs to be resolved.

So fear not the recession. There have been many before and there will probably be many more in the future. All seem different but that is the nature of problems. The art is to live in-spite of a sea of turmoil around you. I think you might succeed and you might fail but you will do what you do whether times are good or bad. Personally I don't think you can fail. I think you are already swimming in the right direction even if the tide is strong and takes you backwards at times. And I think you are an amazing collection of molecules doing something totally unique and beautiful in this universe.

[Born to Perish]

Like what, Brian? Over. LOL! Hey Samspruce! Guess what? I got out of my school now and I am free for the summer! I'll start coming back more often now I'm sure, since I'm no longer buried in work. The sea of turmoil thing is correct, that is what I do everyday. I ride through the storm. Sometimes life will get you down, but we have the courage and the strife to surpass the normies in that department and overall become the greatest in the universe at what we do: Being who we are. Did I mention I have multiple personalities? I can't talk about them too much, because someone will come along and use the information for their own agrandizement, so I am compelled to withdraw. Well I hope I hear from you again Samspruce and Luna: (still waiting). Until next time HASTA LA VISTA BOLA!!!

[Born to Perish]

Those aren't really farewells or anything guys. I'm still here. Of course I did go out of town for a few days, but now I'm back so I would be like totally honored if we were to talk again sometimes. I am now off to help others in need! Feel free to drop by friends. You were the greatest earthbound friends I have ever had...

[Luna-]

Hey BTP

That last verb "were" does make it sound like a goodbye. You sound well. Do you have any burger-flipping or suchlike for the vac?

I have an *aaaaaaaacchhoooooooooooo* cold and the weather is freezing here, so - I've been better.

Ciao.

[Born to Perish]

Hey Luna! Thank you for what you said. Could you tell me what the burger flipping thing meant, I didn't understand. Nice to hear from you again!

[Luna-]

Sorry, BTP, I meant a job for the holidays. I thought that 'burger flipping' was the term used to describe the sort of job you can get during a school vac as a high school student, or as an entry-level type job. Obviously I don't know American sayings well enough.

So: do you have any kind of work for the holidays? If not what are doing with all that freedom? Gosh - almost scary, all that freedom. *wink*

[malign]

It's partly that we don't call summer vacation 'vacs' ... ;-)

[Luna-]

Malign is teasing me, BTP, he loves to do that 'cause I'm from South Africa. Shall we ppfftt him outta your thread?

[malign]

I'm "ppfftt"-resistant, so there! :-)

You try to help a South African with her Americanisms, and this is the thanks you get ... :-P

I think we're all interested to hear how you're doing, Born; how you're spending the summer, whether people are still giving you a hard time. I promise not to use the information for my own aggrandizement. :-)

[Born to Perish]

Yeah "normie" people are still treating me the same. Today in my social course this kid asked me if I was talking to him, because he saw no one else around, then when I said no, just my friend and introduced myself, he walked off. I couldn't help but laugh, because that is what helps me when someone does something mean like that, so I laughed and laughed. I was fine though. I am mostly bored since their is nothing to do during the summer at home. And as for the job thing, no I don't have one yet. I've decided to hold off on getting a job, because I am not good at interviews nor can I figure out what I am good at. Why do people always act like jerks around me? Oh wait I know, they are normies! Definition: Someone who thinks that everything they do is normal and anything differing from this shall automatically be casted aside. This is why I have a problem with regular normies. Now you can get promoted from a normie to a special normie. A special normie is a normie, but the only difference is is that they are my friend or my relative and I love and respect them. Normies who are mean to other people are the ones I can't stand. My family is obviously comprised of special normies. All of my friends are special normies too and as I said I respect them and love them still. I may not agree with what you do, but there is always a way that me and the person could be friends no matter what, but it's up to them. Those who oppose this proposal I dislike. Unless I've never met them, not being my friend is just mean. At least be okay with me, tolerate me, be in my pressence without throwing a fit you know... Normies are such sheep! They are all the same. LITTERALLY! Unless they become special normies, they will always be the same with me. It would be nice if I could find someone who doesn't use words like "freak" "wierdo" "psycho", normies have such a widespread vocabulary now don't they? I find it sad that people use the term psycho when they don't even know what it means. It means a person without compassion for those who have passed, they are practically emotionless. Clearly not me! Sure my other side is psycho, but I'm not! You know the last mental hospital I was in was nice, the people were nice. Next time I go, I don't think I'll like it very much. I hate those guys in the white suits!!!! I hate police that don't do their jobs!!! I hate normies! I despise savages! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! :mad: Sorry, lost the happy. But the happy's back! Hey Luna and Malign, I hope you aren't angry at each other. That would be a bummer. I don't like it when my friends fight it makes me sad and scared. Are you guys alright?

[malign]

No, Born, Luna and I aren't angry at each other; we're just playing. :-)

I'm sorry that people are mean to you. But the guy who asked you if you were talking to him might just have been trying to be polite: he didn't know about your other friends. I mean, what if you had been talking to him, and he ignored you? Now, maybe he didn't understand, afterwards, but I hope you'll forgive people for being different from you. After all, you're asking them to do the same for you. :-)

[Luna-]

Hey, BorntoFlourish

Malign and I are good friends and we love to tease each other. It all a big act and we love to make up witty and clever teases. Malign is a special normie. When he's not being a weird special normie. *wink, grin*

No worries about you not having a job, I was just wondering what you were doing with your time. As for figuring out what you're good at? None of the things I am good at earn me a living, they only bring in "pocket money", which isn't enough when you're 48. I'm still thinking about what I am going to be and do with my life, meanwhile I make it up as I go along.

How about starting a project of something you at least like a little bit. Take a how-to book out of the library (or talk your parents into buying you one or buying you a kit of something) and make or do or learn something. Often something like that morphs into something else that provides a living one day in the future, while you've enjoyed yourself in the meanwhile. (For example: tinkering with radios and taking them apart to see what's inside as a teen led a guy I know to becoming a Computer Science professor!)

At your age I also didn't know what I liked, other than to read. You have a good imagination and you write well, from what I've seen of you here. You'll know what you like by what "grabs" you along the way.

(If you come across a job for an untrained, unschooled artist, would you recommend me, please? Yeah, I wish. )

Take care of yourself.

[Born to Perish]

Vamos a jugar? Quienes Jugar? LOL! Hey! You guys are so nice. I am having a daily great day and right now I am coming to you live from hollywood. Kidding. I am happy to hear that you are friends, that's nice to know. I so respect others for their differences, because I so am a nice person like seriously. I am! I work to be as sweet and kind as possible, because I know that is right and gets positive responses. Some people are taller than me, some shorter and I respect and love them all equally, however their are those who are not this way. They'd rather cling to stereotypes and be rather vulgar in the pressence of whom they deem unworthy. I only have a disgust for these kinds of people, however I think the message wasn't clear earlier so I'll speak it once more: "I don't care who you are or what your personality is or reputation, I feel that I mujst give you a chance at least. Now of course if you do bad things for a living, I'd try to talk you out of it and make neccessary interventions if needed, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I am very well rounded, maybe it's because I have 5 different personalities I don't know, but I think these 5 are very different and at least one of them would be able to get along with the person. It is quite rare that I find someone who is hard to get along with, unless they are typical. Even though connecting with typical people is difficult, there is always one side of me that empathizes with them. I think it's kind of cool, but I've got to get rid of my evil personality so that my family, friends and even myself will no longer be in jeopardy. The person I speak of whispers to me a great evil. He loves to torment me and annoy me with his constant use of blastphemy and threats. I can't take it anymore. I think I need an exorcist, but my mom will not listen to reason. What should I do about this?