Recruitment operation

[Born to Perish]

Um... guys do you know what I could do about my problem?

[malign]

Born,

It's quite difficult to respond to the sentence, "I think I need an exorcist, but my mom will not listen to reason."

I understand that you are having trouble with one of the voices that you hear, though this one doesn't sound like you would call him a friend. This, however, is one of the ways that we can distinguish such voices from other people who are physically there: we can avoid people we don't like. A voice in our heads, on the other hand, is a bit harder to get rid of than a person.

Born, this is what your medications are for, so that you can silence the voices that tell you things you don't like, that put people you love and yourself "in jeopardy" {your words}.

[Luna-]

I'm not sure I know, BTP. Medication can help. What are you taking now, at what dose? And does anyone else know this? Do you see any sort of counsellor?

That personality is also you, of course. We all get angry, want to break out, all those things you feel. I do too. But you don't have to act on them or be afraid to have those thoughts or feelings. You can't 'exorcise' the "evil" in you (I don't think) but you don't have to ACT on it. You are many other things, be those instead.

[Born to Perish]

I am taking abilify, It is not getting rid of this one. It did get rid of the other one, but this one is still alive and well. I would simply die if this were me, because it can't be, it's not me! IT'S NOT ME! I am not an evil person! I do good for other people. I have always been generous and polite and I have never raised my voice to anyone or rejected anyone who needed my help, how could that voice in the back of my head that screams : "F God" be me? I love God! I believe in him! Why is this happening to me?! I haven't done anything wrong! I hate this demon, I want him out, but he won't go! He will NEVER shut up! All of the time I feel his power and it gives me the urge to be tied up by chains so that he may not hurt others, I think that holy water may burn him and cast him away, but I don't have any! I am scared, the other day he tried to hurt my mom when I gave him control. It was hard to stop him, but I did. I wasn't angry at all, I was just making him feel the head pain instead of me, but he wouldn't cooperate. My mom was just doing my hair and it hurt a little, but it wasn't her fault, I wasn't mad at her. Are you still there guys? I could really use some more medication references or maybe some known exorcists, maybe something that can help. He has told me he hates me and that I should die and let him kill others, he is dangerous and a threat to everyone's livelyhood. With at any given moment, angry or happy, he could use my body to pounce on an innocent victim, I need some help here. Guys are you still there? When he gets word of this he won't be happy, I need help guys.

[malign]

We're here, Born.

The first thing to do, to stop him, is to tell your mother, your doctor, anyone who will listen, what you're feeling. You are right to be concerned about him taking over.

You're the one who can stop him.

[Luna-]

I'm here too BTP.

[Luna-]

I'm sorry. I think I made a mistake. That evil dude doesnt' sound like the you I know. My mistake, BTP.

Which was the other medication that made this dude keep quiet, that you were on? What does you mom say about these awful things he is saying to you; did you tell her about it?

[Luna-]

Are you around, BTP? I'm concerned about you.

[Born to Perish]

My mom doesn't want to talk about it and there was never a medication I took that made him shut up, but there was one that took away my power and that weakened him a little. Once again I am sorry for the wait, I had to leave and I spent sometime with my mom, but she's okay. No one in my family really wants to hear about it or anything at all. I seriously doubt my mom will listen to reason the 2nd time I tell her. The medicine I used to take is called seroquel. And um... what you said about it not sounding like me... A lot of people say that and I have more than this person to deal with as well. I have a girl inside me that begs me to do all of this feminine stuff she knows I am currently unable to do, a masculine meat head who's asking for too much, a truly bizarre and almost out of control crazy beast on the inside and the demon of course and then there is me, what can I do? I am stuck with this demon I think. He has always been inside of my head even when I was a child I had visions of hurting others and breaking things for no reason at all. I wish to be free of this curse so that I can live without fear again, but now I am fearful of damnation because of this demon. I feel trapped. Now I am finished. I can't stop him alone. I tried that, he won't go away. Even if there is nothing you can do. thank you for being with me on this. Are you guys feeling better, I didn't want to scare you, but I felt you should know the truth. My 5 sides are all very different from each other. One is tough, one is sweet, one is knowlegeable, one is maniacal and one is evil. I love the good ones, but I hate the evil one. He hates me too, he confided in me this. Please comment on this.

[Born to Perish]

Hey! How are you doing? I decided to stop taking my medicine. It's not working so I'm going to stop so there! Ha Ha! I feel soooooo much better! I really do! Thanks for the advice! Ah lol! Remember! Rememb(A)!!!!!!!! You didn't give any! Ha ha lol, I'm the winner see my prize! Hah hah !!!! LOL! I love you guys, and heck feel free to comment on what was written above!:)

[Luna-]

Well, I'm usually in the area.

I know you feel better when you stop the meds, BTP - but doesn't it usually end pretty badly...? It seems to have done that since I've known you. Just worried I guess.

[Born to Perish]

Don't worry Luna everything is going to be just fine. This power! I can feel it surge! I feel so much happier now. Hey Luna do you take medication?

[Luna-]

Yes, I do. I have bipolar disorder and will be on meds for life. I don't always like that thought, but I like even less how it feels when my unmedicated house-of-cards all falls down.

I take 4 meds: Geodon, Lamictin, Wellbutrin and Efexor. (I have been on Seroquel and Zyprexa, have not yet been on Abilify, but who knows the future, right?) With these meds, I have a life and I'm free to be me. *wink*

I was just thinking.... sorry to say this.. but didn't you go to hospital last time you stopped the meds? Are you sure you're going to be OK? Not to nag, I'm just concerned. You know, us mixed nuts have to stick together.

Whichever, I'll be in the area.

[Born to Perish]

I know, I know... This time, I should be fine, because the medication isn't helping me in any way. I have another question. How do you feel when you don't take medication?

[malign]

Hey Born,

Just as a reminder, Luna lives in South Africa, where it's 10 at night, now. I just don't want you to feel neglected if she doesn't answer today.

My question, though, if you're interested: how do you know medication isn't helping you? You said it got rid of one "demon", for you. Do you not think that demon might come back, if you stop? Even if it's not helping with the worst one, then you'd have two to deal with ... Just my thought.

[Luna-]

I'm awake now. (in fact I've been awake since 04:30, when I got an SMS that woke me up, that told me money had moved from one account to another as per a standing order - from the BANK!! Sheesh.)

When I don't take meds, I crash into severe suicidal depression. I have a no-suicide policy, but when it gets that bad, I spend all day thinking about it and my reasons for not doing it just evaporate as I can't think straight any more. Every day becomes a battle to stay alive. This may not happen immediately, but it will arrive.

I've had a couple 'ditch meds, be all merry, crash hard and burn, very long climb back up to feeling OK" episodes (when I was younger). And each one, together with the wrong diagnosis&treatment for 27 years, has brought me to today where I cycle constantly. Today, the meds keep it from getting too extreme, but it doesn't stop them.

It's called the 'kindling effect' - each episode provides 'kindling' for the next episode, so the more you have, the more you're going to have. That's where I'm coming from, when I'm concerned about you. I wish I'd known about kindling much earlier in my life. I'm now so 'kindled', the fire spontaneously combusts! *rolling my eyes* I guess I'm just hoping to spare you some of that heartache... I wasted so much time in episodes. It's water under the bridge now, for me, but you still have so much life ... I know, I know - I sound OLD.

Now, what I really could use is an Amazon Kindle.

[Luna-]

I mean to ask, BTP - how do you feel on the meds? You're on Abilify now?) Or rather you were? What does your doc say to you? Does he listen to you? What do you tell him? (Sorry about all the questions, I'm not meaning to 'quiz' you. )

PS. Hey, how about I move your thread? You haven't been a "New Member" for some time now. Where do you think it should go?

[Born to Perish]

The demon has not disapeared and the medicine is not working. In fact just today I had an "psychotic episode" meaning the demon came out and he almost destroyed my house. It was scary. I do feel scared when I take my medication though, which is exactly what it is supposed to be meant to eliminate. Hey Luna and Malign nice to see you. I could imagine how having to battle against these thoughts of suicide is nearly impossible, because I was there, if only for a short time. That is scary too. I need to take more medication so that I can do what is recommended of me and so I can stay out of the hospital. I love the people there, but I like my freedom as well. It terrifies me that they might lock me up, yet it only makes the demon happier though. I hate the demon sooooo much. He is trying to kill me and my family. He said so today. I am scared and I don't know if I can control him anymore. Medicine is my only option now. I feel so helpless and weak when I don't take it, but I suppose it's better than the underworld. I just want to dance, sing, play and laugh, I don't want to hurt anyone, but everyday he tells me: "Yes you do want to hurt people. And I always fight him and tell him no, but today he made his escape for the first time in 8 years. I'd like to talk more about this. As for the thread thing Luna um I need to be able to find it so, where are you going to move it?

[Born to Perish]

Hey Luna are you alright? Didn't you say something about moving my thread? I just wanted to know where it is going to be.

[Luna-]

Hey BTP, I though you might like to tell me where you want it to go?. You can still find it here where you've always found it before as I will just put a pointer to it. So you won't lose it, don't worry.

That sounds mighty scarey, I'm sorry to hear about that demon. What medications do they suggest for you?

I'm listening, so talk away, ok...?

[Born to Perish]

They used to give me seroquel, now they give me abilify. I have my thread saved in my favorites box. Will I still be able to get there by the use of it?

[Luna-]

I don't know. I'll save it to my favorites and then I'll see. I'll come back and let you know.

Edit: Yup, seems to work just fine. I have put in the category "General Support".

Has your mom taken you back to the pdoc (psychiatrist) to tell him that the Abilify isn't doing what it should do? Do you know why the pdoc switched you from Seroquel to Abilify?

And what do you keep yourself busy with, during your long holiday?

[Born to Perish]

No my mom hasn't taken me back, but I have good news. I have modified the dosage with my mom's consent of course and it is working fabulously. I haven't heard him at all or seen anything evil. The doctor switched me from seroquel, because it wasn't effective in my anxiety area. I still do not believe the medicine is treating my anxiety. I am still scared of a lot of people in one area or big tough strong angry guys too because I do not feel I have the power to defend myself against them. I am not doing much of anything today, but I have been a few places, I am attending a social class this summer, but ultimately I play games, watch tv and surf the web. I am still scared of some people, some would say this is normal, however I take it to the extreme. It infuriates me to know I could be harmed by the likes of them. I crave my power for my security, that is all. I am scared to. Anyway normies suck, special normies rule and I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. OMG CHRIS I AM JUST LOL, HA HA HA! Hello this is the police department; juuust kidding... LOL! Super Milk Chan! Have you ever seen Super Milk Chan on TV Luna?

[Luna-]

Glad to hear that demon has shut up. I don't really know much about Abilify. No, we don't get that programme here in SA, sowwee.

[Born to Perish]

See on the show that is what the girl does she when she gets a call, she says she is some random person then she says: Just kidding. The medicine is actually working, though I doubt it will treat my anxiety. I have so many problems. Are you bored of me? I know I talk a lot so if I am just let me know, it seems as if many years have passed by sincce we started this thread. Everyday it seems as if a new problem arrises. I have ants in my bedroom now, a condition that makes my lower body hurt when I eat certain foods and acid reflux. Everybody has problems, but I think I am the king of problems. Can I just have one day problem free? I have a nice life, but something is always vexing me. Do you understand what's going on with me? Luna do you have problems everyday like me? Oh and Malign you can chime in if you wish, I have not foresaken thee. :cool: I just love these faces! Ale-whatever, LOL! Heather is so funny. Oh right... What kinds of tv stations do you have? Have you ever heard of cartoonnetwork? Question barrage!