Leaderboard

Good questions, Mark. I don't know. But to me, this site provides the possibility of written contact with some people I know a bit and I like them and I like this possibility to come when it suits me and to 'interact'. It's perhaps more like a social network / medium now. When I remember "the old times", I have to admit I liked it here much more then. But it's not because I don't like the people who are now here, just... the greater number of contributors about more diversified topics was more stimulating and engaging and, mainly, provided more possibilities to some help to emerge from all those interactions, sometimes quite profound.

What do you think was the cause of activity decline? Problems or issues resolved? Or, at least explored as far a possible. I know I don't feel the need to discuss my sps issues much any longer as people have helped me look at it from all angles and it is more or less stable. Wouldn't say I was cured, though. I think people are more "stuck" in major social media sites now and less likely to google about for a site like this.

Support service for me when I found this site. And very helpful advice. At moment the UK has hit it's highest covid count. So this site might help with mental Health issues. As for Social media. Last year I saw docu about social media Called the "Social dilemma" and well let's just say you watch that and it will scare you from using Social media.

I like this (quiet) forum - I suppose it is not so busy because less people are using forums? It was hard to find originally, just looked now and it is page 4 on bing search. Quality rather than quantity 🙂 Edit - just searched again and now it is page 1 lol.

I have been a member of this community for over 10 years. I have made friendships here that have been life changing. I have learned here, both by receiving support and by giving support to others. I have journaled here for many years. Part of my story is here. I have blogs that show my experiences in real time. I can go back now and read where I was, see my struggles and see how I have pushed through and grown. I have a message space here that spans over years that I shared with a friend who has since died. I'm grateful for all of this. I would be sad to lose this site and all of concrete memories I have here. It's true that things aren't the same on the forum as they were some years ago. I sometimes miss the old days too. I understand your concerns. I may need to allow my emotions before I can see ration clearly, though. I don't visit here nearly as much as I did for many years, life is busy and maybe I don't have as much need or energy...but that could always change. This community feels like an old friend. I agree with Vic that ultimately it's your choice to make. I respect that. I don't have any great answers, I just would feel sad to see it go.

Very few things in life do what they are intended to do. I have both seen and gotten support here. The Coronavirus thread has been active - that’s not SPS. But you are right most topics get little to no traffic. So it’s up to you big guy. If you wanna put the kibosh on it I would just request a ‘heads up’ so I could connect w a couple of people via email or whatever.

This week was better. Maybe because Im studing biochemistry with one of my friends so I had some funny moments. I saw my other friends this week too and we will go out tomorrow. Im just scared that when Im not with them I feel bad and suicidal and I dont have reasons to feel like that at the moment.

Hey guys, Wanted to stop by and wish you all a wonderful Christmas/ holiday season. Hope that you're able to spend time with family and friends and treasure the little things, the happy moments, the peaceful and quiet times, the tranquility of nature or a gentle snowfall. Although I've been absent, I think of you often, and hope you are well. I will touch base in the new year and see how you're adjusting to your new president... ? Sorry, that was a cheap shot. I can't be all dafodils and moon beams... it's not in my nature. ? But i do wish you were closer and we could raise a glass of rum and eggnog together. I will raise one and toast you all tonight. Wishing you all the best, much love, =j

Hi Andromeda. I know what you mean about personal safety, I used to finish sometimes at 10pm in one job and safety was a big issue. Luckily I found a safe route home and would wear flat shoes so they didn't echo around quiet streets. I would be honest with the employer if you get offered the job about your concerns. Maybe someone else who works at the same place will be leaving at the same time so you could travel together?

-

I was 4 days near the sea with my father and brother. It was kind of fun and I tried to relax a little. I went to the resturant with my colleagues and it was great night and it wasnt so expensive . After that I had 2 nice days with my friends. We went to one lake near my town. So not everything was bad. I needed something like this, because last month was awful, because my mother and father didnt stop to fight and my stress was too much. And now my father is angry, because I dont have bachelor degree and he said I wasted his money. I know he is right about that. But I dont want every conversation he to remind me how I failed. I feel guilty enough.

Haven’t been on in ages, but I read your update, now a year old, and it was nice to hear how you’re doing. Hope things continue to go well and you guys are happy. Indeed, weathering the current global situation with a steadfast partner, certainly is a blessing. Take care.

Good Luck, Dave. Hope it's a friendly new place.

I remember when I was young we made moving fun by drinking beer, eating pizza and blasting rock-n-roll. But barring that it can be a pain in the ass so hang in there @Daveuk

I can't imagine what 9 would look like

Well, we are having a nice couple of days - June weather has been quite cool - I don't mind really, roses look lovely 🌹

Very good Dave. Glad you got paid. Happy first day of summer.

Outstanding. Hope Routes to Work is helping. Maybe you'll see Theresa May there ha ha. Oh that reminds me I watched Bride of Frankenstein last Saturday.

Your birthday is St. David's Day, perfect for a Dave ☺️

I haven't seen many films this year - but did see 'I Feel Pretty', a comedy with Amy Schumer and Mamma Mia 2, both of which made me laugh ☺️

Merry Christmas Dave 🎄

All Answers will be revealed on Xmas day

Yeah, I need to get moving on shopping too! The month is flying by already. 🎄🎁

Its a place that you can just go in have a cup.of tea that also helps you with financial difficulty

Hi, Andromeda. I am a university student too. This is my first time to read this post and I feel quite sorry for your suffering. Sometimes we do feel we are unwanted, unneeded and unworthy while it might not be true. Your friends wouldn't leave you for your dumb acts. And of course they wouldn't leave you for your uninteresting personality (I doubt it though, I believe everybody is interesting although sometimes people themselves cannot feel it). If they do leave, it wouldn't be your fault too. Because we all know we are going through a f**king phrase now. Don't doubt yourself and it will be alright. BTW, in my university, there are psychological consultant for free. I am not sure if it's the same in your university. If so, go and get some help.

:'( I hear you, Andromeda. I have a daughter who struggles too. Anxiety and depression can wear a person down. I'm sorry you have been feeling this way. Maybe it helps to take one moment at a time? Do you enjoy any activities? Recently we have been ice skating as a family and those moments seem to be helpful to my daughter. When we skate, she is able to connect with some positive feelings. I think the exercise and focus on learning a new task can be helpful too. Maybe it also provides some space to heal. I am thinking of you, A.

how are you feeling today? any better?

i hate it when people do that, specially when they're not actually right. i'm glad you have at least one good friend. we care about you too, andromeda.

Yes I feel better this week. Maybe because I saw my friends and we had walk in the park. The weather is better now and this helps too. I can go out more often. I dont know about the medications. My friend who is depressed went to psychiatrist and she gave her antidepressants. So I hope she will feel better. Im not sure if its good idea for me. Im kind of scared of side effects. I know I can stop medications or change them, but still if this happen my mother will say that she is right . But my firend said if I need to go to psychiatrist she will come with me. Its nice to know that and that she care about me.

Nothing new in my life. I study for my exams and go out with friends sometimes. Its great that they still care for me. Even when I cant go with them sometimes they call and they say that they miss me. Its so nice I didnt have bad anxiety, but OCD sometimes is more strong, at least at night. But for now I can manage the symptoms. One of my friends had anxiety attack and I stayed on the phone with her. she said that I helped her and understood her, maybe because I have experience with anxiety. Thanks for asking Resolute. How are you doing?

Hi, Laney, and welcome. I'm sorry you're struggling and you aren't sure where to turn for support. Are you okay physically? I hope you can be gentle with yourself. This happened and that is in the past now. How are you feeling, what are your needs, and how can you care for yourself now? Have you been seeing your therapist for a while now? Sometimes a therapist isn't the best fit or maybe it takes longer to build trust. I hope you can reach out to someone there for support when you need to. Sending care to you.

Hi Andromeda. No words of wisdom at the moment but sending you some positive thoughts and really hope things get real good real soon.

How are you. A.? And what about your tooth?

It's great that you were able to talk freely and didn't feel frightened. It can take some time and several (or many) interviews to find employment. Now you know how well you can do. I hope you can believe in yourself. I hope you find something soon. Regarding looks, I hope neither of you will judge yourself harshly. Take care, Andromeda.

Glad you had a smooth time talking to people Andromeda. Trust me if looks were a requirement for getting hired by a corporation I would never have been hired anywhere. You'll find something.

It would be difficult for others to fully understand your experiences and your struggles, Andromeda. I do think we can share and listen to one another to gain a better understanding and awareness of what things may be like for others. You know yourself, though, and you know your struggles and how you are affected by this. I hope you won't question or judge yourself based on other's potential reactions. Sending care to you.

Walking (and perhaps also reading, listening to music, ...?) in a park every day is a nice summer plan . You don't need anything "special " to feel a little better. Thinking of you, A. ... Hugs, L.

Maybe your friends want to be there for you during the difficult times as well as the good times? I know that I would. Are you able to get some space from the stress at home? Do you have any summer plans? Great job on your exams! I agree about building on your successes. That is one way to increase both your confidence and your feelings of self efficacy. Take care, Andromeda.

Build on small success Andromeda. You passed exams and are not depressed. Enjoy the summer break!

A value for anyone making contributions to the site is that you get to experience yourself doing so. You can hear yourself expressing what you feel at the time and see how that can change over time. You can hear yourself expressing genuine care to another. You can experience yourself using healthy boundaries. When we make mistakes, we experience ourselves learning from them. We are social animals and building the capacity for healthy relating helps us feel better and gives us a blueprint for how to do it with ourselves too. Ralph thank you for your courage to post over the years. I have always valued your genuineness.

I found myself a lot more comfortable going out in nature when I could have a camera in front of my face. :-) Though for me, it was more that the camera made me focus (!) on what's out there, instead of having any attention left over to be self-conscious. In a way, it gave me permission to ignore those other people, or to get mad at them, if necessary, for a "normal" reason, like "you're scaring stuff away" instead of "I'm afraid you're looking at me." And, finally, it gave me "something to think about" that didn't induce anxiety, so my mind was busy still, but with innocuous things like "did I get the lighting right?"

-

This just nails it for me: "Context is the freedom to be. Context is space. It has no form, no place in time; it allows form and time. In the absence of a consciously-created context, our lives are controlled by content - the forces and circumstances of the condition in which we live. Once you create a context, that context then generates a process in which the content - the forces and circumstances - reorder and align themselves with the context. For example, if you choose to shift the context of your life from 'I don't matter' to 'I make a difference,' the circumstances in your life, while they may not have changed, take on an entirely new meaning. This new meaning, then, begins to reflect that you do make a difference." - -Werner Erhard

How are you doing, A?

And this may be interesting for you in the context of your anger issues and the relationship to your parents: http://www.madinamerica.com/2015/05/is-my-therapist-good-or-not/

At it's core EST is not about making your life better through positive thinking. It's realizing that your life IS thinking. That's really it. Then remain with that understanding, that shift in perspective, and allow whatever changes naturally follow.

P.S.: Sorry it's so huge here - it's not my choice. Here is a transcript of a longer video: http://www.theschooloflife.com/melbourne/blog/2014/07/how-we-end-up-marrying-the-wrong-person/ I recommend it not as much for the context of marriage as for the ideas about people in general - that each of us is "somehow strange / weird". I hope it (and the videos above) could make you feel less "odd".

Sounds like a very stressful situation, Andromeda.. Your father probably feels worthless himself and takes out his frustration with his life out on you and your mom. Think about all the future job possibilities that will come your way once you pass your exams. Think of it is a temporary phase in your life that will end eventually. Things do, change for the best, just not as fast as we want them to....