Quest for my normal

[shanrucas]

So guys, I have tried to be patient with this guy, but I just can't seem to get past the part that he seems not to have much of a personality, no sense of humor,,he's not grumpy but he certainly doesn't get anything I say...I have told him how my time is limited and that I don't have much to offer..he just doesn't seem to get it...all he says is that he likes me and wants to hang out..he doesn't even know me.. I tried throwing him a bone on topics to see if he even has any convictions of his own...nothing. He definately doesn't get my sense of humor at all. He is becoming real clingy.. I guess I will have to spell it out this time.

[Lindamomof7]

Good luck Shannon You will do fine. I think we girls gave you enough confidence tonight :-))

How is Mom doing? I think Hotspot is still putting togeterh the racetrack, what do you think?

[shanrucas]

I think your right about Hotspot...he's either still assembling the racetrack or playing with it..lol

[Lindamomof7]

I put bets on he is playing with it with a cup of hot cocoa and whipped cream...

[Hotspot]

You both made me smile, I very much wish I had been home playing with the racetrack. I had to work and the snow storm made it added chaos. 3 gas leaks, 5 serious MVAs. I then went to snow blow my parents out, a next door neighbor of mine and my own property. It's 16hrs later I am now back in my warm house. I'm glad you both were indoors warm and safe. When I came in I saw all the little boots and hats drying in the breezeway. It would have been nicer to have been home to hangout in the snow with the kids. There is a snowman with issues built on my front lawn, I think he has 3 arms. There is also a castle made from sand castle molds. One of my boys is fascinated with anything castle. Later today I will take the kids down the block to go sledding.

Brodman, those 2 daughters sound like real pieces of work. I gather you didn't make it to dinner with your elderly friend? The storm was in full force around afternoon time. Did you get to spend time with your friend before the storm hit? I read above you had a job interview that you were called back for, what type of work? Does Domino like the snow? My dogs love it. They roll all around in it and eat it too.

Going to sleep now or at least going to attempt to.

[Lindamomof7]

Way to go hotspot always helping others

Wish you were here to help my son. He got stuck with his truck while snowplowing and also rescuing a friend from a slide out on the parkway then they closed it down with him still on it.

By the time he got back to the bowling alley, he got stuck at the gas station across the street had to walk through the snow to the alley and come in to find snow on the lanes... Luckily it was only a fan that was left open and not the roof caving in especially with the entire roof having solar panels on it.

So my husband called in a favor to one of his many friends with snowplows and is helping my son and plowing out the business...

So I have been up all night mostly due to being manic but also worrying about my son and answering the many phone calls to check in. He was dumb though he didn't wait for my other son to go with him to help him, they should have buddied up....

I think we got about 2 ft here in east/central NJ how about you hotspot?

[brodman]

snow does suck and is fun all at the same time weird how that happens.

Least your family got unburied Linda nothin serious at bowling ally either.

Shanrucas sounded like you had nice christmas with the kids gift hunt.

Hotspot Domino and I did make it to see my friend. He has a nice lab she and Domino played well together then we caught them napping together. By the time I was heading back to Jersey the storm was gettin lots worse got a call from the returant where had reservation they were closing I kind of figured they would was nice they called I called the old lady and Domino and I went over with chinese our going out dinner will happen later she was happy I still came over we had a nice time eating and watching movies then I had to go home or risk havin to stay over I laughed when I saw what you writed about your kids made a snowman with issues.

I did have interview last week for part time extra work at a cemetery didnt think they would call back lots of people showed up for the job. Anyway I had to go this morning which was interesting considerin the amount of snow all over I got the job Its almost not even a job 2 nights on the weekend I have to stay and keep watch thats all the job is Domino can even come with me which was like cherry on sundae Ill have to walk the grounds at least twice a night other than that I can stay in the little house complete with cot mini fridge and multiple surveillance tvs. Havin Domino there will be big help he will let me know if anyone else is around that shouldnt be doubt the dead people will give me any problems $175 for 2 nights a week will add up nicely in addition to my usual jobs. The guy I met with to get the job told me several have not lasted more than a weekend or two not sure what that is all about. He said they got freaked out Since there is snow all over the place I dont have to go into work today to drive the old people it should be a really nice day of lounging around

[shanrucas]

Hotspot...I love the snowman with issues, how funny, must of been great to come home to after such a hectic shift.

Im glad everyone is ok, I was thinking of all of you cause of the blizzard. I bet you worried so much Linda, no wonder you had a manic episode. I feel kinda left out, we are having high wind warnings other than that just plenty of rain, typical for here. Which is good, cause if we get even just an inch of snow, everyone freaks out.

brodman, how great you get to take Domino with to your new job, I bet the employers consider him a plus due to the nature of the job. Your elderly friend is luch to have you around, Im sure since she doesn't have much of a family it makes her happy.

Well, that guy is going to drive me nuts, I can't wait till his vacation is over with and I can have some alone time at the barn. I tried, but he just doesn't have a personality, at least not even interesting one, I try my best to engage him into a conversation and I just don't get much.I thought maybe he was just shy, nope not the case,..he just agrees with me..boring. I told him today I just don't have time in my life to offer to anyone else, I even told him I would try and fine someone to give him riding lessons if thats what he wants, didn't get it. I guess I will have to be brutally blunt. I hate that, never had to do that to someone before.

Anyway,,everyone stay safe and warm.

Shannon

[Lindamomof7]

Thanks Shannon we are stayng warm we didn't lose power!!! The snow is finished but the winds are just wicked... So I am hoping we dont have any down trees now.

This storm clobbered the entire east coast and into Philadelphia. We got almost 2 ft of snow not to mention the snow drifts which were the real culprit in all of this. They actually closed interstates because of the winds and snow drifts.

Luckily my son made his way to the alley and slept there. My husband and other kids shoveled us out and my daughters boyfriend plowed us out because we have like 700 ft long driveway and the plow truck is not here!!! But it worked and now they are all shoveling out the alley but they need a front loader now because to much time in between plowing caused it to be sky high, literally...

I'm just hanging out cant sleep so I am cleaning and making lasagna , 2 trays of it for my very hungry family but I have enough, who wants to come over :-))

[brodman]

shanrucas I guess this guy is slow or something. Im not sure which is worse having someone you are not interested around or having someone so clingy to me I guess it's just as bad. Ive been there with a few girls thinking they could somehow get a relationship by being a pain in the ass always showing up or being around. Lots usually get the hints if I'm not callin or textin moving mountains to spend time with them that I'm not interested others though like this guy with you can be clingy messes which is way unattractive. I try the stuff I told you before about being right to the point about not having time or will call to make plans etc when that doesn't get through I go with the blunt facts. Thats where I get told Im insensitive but its just as insensitive to be in someones space when you aren't invited or wanted. I get you don't want him to feel bad and all that but you gotta do what's best for you maybe you are right he will not be this way when he returns to work I don't think your time or comfort should be based on his schedule least wouldnt let mine be.

My new job should be interesting I know Domino will love the enormous property to romp around on. I really just want the added money gettin paid to take strolls around property and makin sure the dead are unbothered while being with Domino not shabby. Have to use the golf cart to get over to the old part of the cemetery wonder if Domino will fit inside

[shanrucas]

Mmmm, Linda, lasagna sounds sooo good..put me and mom down for some, is there enough for seconds?

Thank you brodman, it important for me to have this support. I think he is slow like you said, at least concerning how to relate to people. I mean after I told him how I just don't have time for this,,then he says..ok I will see ya tomorrow. It would be one thing if he had a persaonality that suits me or at least a sense of humor, but I just get nothing.

Hey maybe you should design a mini horse trailer for Domino, that would be so cool.

I take my dogs for a walk to the cemetary near my house, sometimes I just go around and look at the older tombstones, I find them fascinating and some of them are so unique.

We haven't gotten the high winds yet, just more rain.

[Hotspot]

OK, I just finished snack time always have room for lasagna however, fork in hand and ready to dig in.

We also got around 2 feet of snow the drifts definitely make it seem a lot worse. Needed to help several get out of their homes on the block. Once all the work was done off to sledding I went with the kids. My wife had a needed break and I had a grand time with the kids sledding, snowball fight and building another snowman without issues. Turns out the baby one on our lawn has issues because the kids tell me one of his arms kept falling out so, they decided to give him a spare just in case. One of the boys was like if it fell out he could just stick the other one in for himself. Instead of it being a snowman with issues it is a snowman with massive abilities lol

Shannon you are much too patient with this clingy guy. It would drive me up the wall to have someone around that is dense and lacking personality.

Brodman, a part time job in a cemetery a few nights a week sounds like a great setup. After I was discharged from the Military and was waiting to be called into the fire academy I worked in a cemetery. I was a grave digger, it was rough work but the pay was substantial. There were some strange occurrences that happened at the cemetery. They can be quite peaceful places also very unnerving if you don't have thick skin. :eek: Watching for disturbances or vandals, having your beloved dog with you all the while getting paid is a sweet setup if you have the skin for it. I don't know if Domino is going to fit into a golf cart. Shannon's mini horse trailer idea might be better. After all you do in fact have a mini horse. Perhaps though if 12 clowns can get out of a VW anything is possible. How is he doing with the billiard balls? Is he still a thief?:confused:

[Lindamomof7]

Hey hotspot your kids made snowpeople mine all made their own individual sledding/snowboarding paths down our yard it is great we live up a hill over the telephone poles. So betweeen that and the long 700 ft long driveway, they are having a blast. It is weird to look at my front yard from the top floor and see these mole like paths 7 of them all going down my property...

My daughter commented that as she made her path, that cat walked down it and peed in her path. That made us all laugh...

Me I havent put my nose outside. I'm sort of afraid to feel bad because if I start shoveling or whatever my chest is going to hurt so instead I am manic enough to be doing a lot of little things around here that I have neglected. I dont even feel like going out and even sit in my rocking chairs on the porch. I really have to get a handle on why I am having such a problem with "relaxing" and finding some "zen" time...

Off to therapist today and hematologist just called and rescheduled for tomorrow so I am happy about that...

Everyone have a good day.....

[Elijah]

Hello Everyone,

Brodman, I can picture you driving Domino around in a golf cart. The image is very funny.

[shanrucas]

sounds like all your kids are having a good time in the snow, what fun..snow is such a big thing here when it happens, other than that we all just play in the mud puddles.

I know about trying to find that "zen" place. I feel that this guy has intruded in on my "zen" time. I was a bit blunter with him him today, said how I love being single and on my own and that I treasure my alone time, just when I thought he was going to get it...he asks me what Im doing tomorrow, which I already told him that I was going to try to spend as much time with my horses, which isn't enough cause then I have to go shopping and then home to mom..he said "oh cause I wondered if you would like to go out to breakfast..I just looked at him and said no cause I just don't have time to spend on that...normally I would mind such a jester from someone, but I certainly don't want this guy to think he has a relationship with me. I even gave him the number of a woman who could give him riding lessons cause thats what she does. He just doesn't get it, I am going to have to go from blunt to rude..I hate that when I am forced in that situation. He is not my type on so many levels..especially the clinging when he doesn't even now me. Red flags are popping up all over the place.

[Lindamomof7]

go with your gut Shannon and it looks like you already are...

I understand trying to be blunt without offending him. He does seem harmless so I understand your need to be gentl and not act like a biotch... But something a little more straight forth is what he needs. Who knows maybe he is a little slow or like my autistic son sometimes just doesn't get it....

Oh and yummm the lasagna and garlic/cheese bread is baking who is coming over

[shanrucas]

yeah Linda, its gettin to point that my gut is telling me to run. I thats what I feel like. My stomach is turning so much I just don't feel well, I came home and crashed out. I hate thid feeling. Could he of triggered the PTSD? I have the closing feeling of being trapped.

[shanrucas]

Great....I am now experiencing a severe panic attack, I can't breathe, I feel there is no safe place for me to go anymore. Just don't how much more I can take.

[brodman]

Its hours later now but hope you are feelin better shanrucas if this guy is causin problems like this for ya gotta get him to stop comin around if being straight forward and in his face about what you need and want is considered bein rude well then BE rude damn it dont let anyone else make you feel like explosive feces

Hotspot, yeah my new job sounds sweet will see how much on Friday night Domino is huge figure though if he can fit in passenger seat he can get into golf cart either that or hes gonna have to run a long side. You dug graves man no way in hell Id ever do that unless the pay was wayyyyyy up there. What branch of the military were you in? I had thought about joining a few years ago then I rethought that lots never wanted to wind up in a dessert fighting for and trying to stay alive for stuff I dont even believe in. besides Im last person that should be handed a gun or rifle. Friends of mine go hunting all the time I went a few times couldnt see the point in killing bambi oddly doubt pickin off some people would bother me much

Oh I did finally catch Domino in the act of trying to steal the 9 ball he has somethin for odd numbers lol Im pretty sure he got the correction time will tell for sure

Linda Im gonna bring my snowboard to your place to use one of those paths the kids made Id rather the cat pissfree one please

Jedidiah ya made it long trip ah nice to see you did your birthday present get delivered? wasnt sure if it would be delayed or not with this oh so wonderful weather weve gotten At least now you are legal today and yesterday I didnt have to drive the old people tomorrow later today I have to take 4 to their doctors and a group to supermarket Ill call inbetween one of those trips

[Lindamomof7]

Hey Shannon well I am up very early and just saw your post from last night. I hope the panic attack lessoned for you... It sounds like the conflict you are feeling did trigger the fact that he was not listening to you.

So I think now is the time to be frank with him and make sure he understands. You dont need this aggravation whenever you go to your therapeutic place because eventually you might just totally avoid it all because of a new man wanting some kind of friendship. Not worth it!!!!

Maybe for now change up the time you go to the stables until you feel well enough to deal with him.

Hnag in there (((HUGS)))

[58corvette]

Sorry to hear this. I personally Hate being Single. But I understand your Feeling & needing to find your Safe Peaceful Zen Place.

Clinging is never good for either party. You know Linda & others are always here for Ya!!!

[Hotspot]

I'm very sorry you had a panic attack Shannon. I also hope you are feeling better now. Having someone invade your space like this guy has been doing surely could trigger such a response. Please be kind to yourself and do what ever is necessary to be comfortable.

Brodman, check your mail/message box which ever it is called around here.

[shanrucas]

Thank you all for your supportive words, I managed to come down a bit and get some much needed sleep. But this morning I feel that apprehensive feeling. I am going to have to really spell it out to this guy.

Im not opposed to meeting someone someday that I would really have something in common with..he doesn't even have to like horses. A good sense of humor would be a plus, and is not clingy. But when someone makes your skin crawl I don't think is a good sign. I have to trust my instincts on this. I feed my friends horse every morning at her barn before going to mine, yesterday I spent more time there and swept her barn floors and straightened the place up for her...when I got to my barn, he was still there.

Thank you all for understanding, like I said if this was someone that had even an interesting personality I would mind, but I get that this guy doesn't even respect boundries which really bothers me.

Brodman, I just love Domino, I can just see him stealing the billard balls, I love the fact that he is choosing ones with odd numbers.

Jedidiah, its good to hear from you, Im glad you are ok. I hope that you had a wonderful birthday. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Take care.

Shannon

[Elijah]

Hello Everyone,

Shannon, I hope that you are feeling better. I do not understand everything that is occurring but I do understand panic attacks, they are frighteningly debilitating. On a brighter note I think you would love Domino. I was able to meet him this past weekend. He really is a lovable, smart, extra large furry bundle of love.

Mike, I am sorry I was asleep when you called but that was a very funny message you left. You make me smile which I have not been doing a lot of as of late. Your birthday present for me arrived a couple of hours ago. I really wanted one of these and have already been enjoying it. I am going to need help getting all the functions to work the instruction manual is limited.

[shanrucas]

Thank Jedidiah, I am feeling better today, I think I have resolved what was triggering me..will see, anyway just did stuff around the house and played with my dogs, which are probably the size of one of Dominos feet. lol. If Domino gets cold from the weather one of my horses blankets would probably fit him..Im envious that you got to meet him.

Shannon