I'm not normal

[malign]

I find myself inclined to stop the practice of copying links in here, especially without comment.

First, it actively promotes the sites that the posts come from, by boosting their search ranking with ours. You've effectively made it more likely that some other guy who's worrying about his size will find this insult (whatever it is; I haven't viewed it.) I doubt that's your intention, and I know it's not mine.

Second, it does nothing to support anyone; it adds another bit to the load that you guys have to carry, and to the effort needed to shrug off that load. You hate seeing it, so how does it help to show it to your friends who will also be hurt by it?

And third, it's a kind of copout: you get to avoid saying how you feel, or why you feel that way, or anything at all, in fact. This isn't about wanting everyone to be falsely positive; you're entitled to say anything you need to say about what you've just viewed. But collecting links to the worst of the internet, publishing it on our support site, and saying nothing of your own ... how do you, or the rest of us, benefit again?

[Jessie]

i dont know why

I didnt comment because in the clip others actions speak louder than any words that i can type

I cant shrug off the truth I guess...

[gone]

There are some things that I like about myself- I'm told I'm witty, bright, some have even said decent looking.

But its not enough to redeem the curse.

Its a tool to do a job- I hate it- and my view is equalled or even exceeded by those who I might wish to be with...

Its too cruel a curse to live with

I'm sitting here smiling. If you're witty, bright and decent looking you're three steps ahead of me.

I look like a little ape with a Charles Bronson face

Jessie, remember with your clothes on you have the exact same 'tools' as every other guy. Go to parties, cookouts. Help some friends with whatever skills you have. You'll find a lady that's tired of the games and bullshit and is looking for a standout guy, not a standout penis. My wife was 26 when I offically met her and took her out for what I swore was just going to be ONE date. She was waaay out of my league (still is).

Women that're looking for a LTR are using a completely different set of criteria than a girl looking to get her brains screwed out in a one night stand. You'd better look like a MAN. Grounded, mature......not into bedroom games that gets hearts broke. Don't look like a egotistical 'dick' that runs at the first sign of a developing relationship.

Your future girl is waiting. She's looking now. She's probably not bar hopping or going to raves. She's helping friends, going to cookouts or backyard parties. Just you wait, you'll find out.

John

[Victimorthecrime]

"Women that're looking for a LTR are using a completely different set of criteria than a girl looking to get her brains screwed out in a one night stand."

Thank you retr0 glad to know someone else gets it. There is no doubt some women fixate on size but that is mostly the night club coke & vodka crowd. Real women want a real man someone that will hold them, love them, protect them, support them, help solve problems, socialize with them. There is no magic button nine inches inside a woman that sends her to nirvana.

[siddiqui]

Jessie might have that going for him. I don't know if you've read the original post on this thread but I've been compromised in every single department that I can think of. How am I supposed to get by?

[malign]

"There is no magic button nine inches inside a woman that sends her to nirvana."

And if there was, she'd undoubtedly be hitting it herself. ;-)

If she wanted a tool, she'd get a tool. If she's with you, it's you she wants.

Now maybe when she no longer wants you (this happens sometimes), she'll try to give (herself) a reason. Certainly, if she no longer cares about you, the reason she gives will be one that makes her feel better, not one that makes you feel better.

It actually occurs to me just how much credit you guys give to women, or at least the ones you date, or would consider dating. It's as if they're all assumed to be confident, well-adjusted, experienced but not (too) slutty, articulate (able to say exactly what they mean) and honest (what they say is actually what they mean.) Granted, those are the women you want to date, but objectively, why do you expect female humans to be that different from male humans? Most of us are not that articulate, honest, confident, or well-adjusted; many of us aren't even aware of our true feelings on the inside, much less capable of conveying them to others.

And siddiqui, as VBN1C said: "Real women want a real man someone that will hold them, love them, protect them, support them, help solve problems, socialize with them." All those things, any man can do. But he does have to believe in himself to do them.

[siddiqui]

Physical attraction works too. It helps. Regardless of any 'manly' things I'll do. Read my original post again. Also, I'm going to assume that I don't have to give the peacock example again

[IrmaJean]

I find that when I like a person, I naturally like their face too.

There are many reasons why people behave the way they do and feel attracted to the people that they do. Evolution and adaption may play a role in such choices, but there are so many other complex factors. We are complex beings. Life is complex. We are unlikely to ever have all of the answers. Maybe it helps to just be you?

In your original post, you describe physical aspects of yourself. What about personal qualities?

[malign]

Sure, physical attraction helps. So, do you have any data, other than your own opinion, of whether you're really not attractive? Not what do average women prefer in average men, but you, out in the world, being yourself?

And I assume I don't have to give the objection again that you're not trying to mate with any peahens. Or is it that your own preference is for the showiest females, so you assume theirs is similar? Maybe it just means thinking some more about what you want out of life ...

[gone]

Physical attraction works too. It helps. Regardless of any 'manly' things I'll do. Read my original post again. Also, I'm going to assume that I don't have to give the peacock example again

I've went back and read your first post. My advise to you would be the same as my advise to Jessie.

Having friends helps a lot. I have to admit, I was very outgoing and enjoyed helping friends just to have something to do.

This isn't a slam IrmaJean , but ladies just can't stand to have an unmarried guy in their midist. After a while, I was being slyly 'fixed up' at a lot of parties and cookouts.

(John, what a coinceidence! My single sister, aunt, cousin, friend...etc. is here too! Let me introduce you!)

My first date with my wife was fixed up by a friends wife. My wife probably wouldn't have went out with me, and I know I would never have asked her out myself. But it helps to have an mutual friend vouching for both parties. I have no idea if my size (or lack thereof) was discussed before hand. I'd say yes, because she wasn't shocked or disappointed when we finally made love.

You never know where or when lightining will strike. Being outgoing, having some friends doesn't hurt at all.

Believe me, not all women are size obsessed. But in the interest of full disclosure, I think about all women today are going to have to of tried their "Big One" before moving on. Be mentally ready for that also.

Society is making sure that virgins are eradicated within our lifetime. (just a small attempt at humor) But really, how rare is a 21 year old virgin girl in this day? Practicing a little self control is considered "quiant" and "old fashioned"

Hell I've noticed even on this forum most guys talk about being nervious about having sex with a girl they just met 10 minutes ago. Why don't you guys give the instant gratification a rest and go 3 or 4 dates (or 6 or7) before you start dropping trou with a stranger?

I'll get off my soapbox. I've rambled long enough, time to shut my yap and just go back to reading.

John

[Jessie]

Sizing up a man’s worth by Kristina Hansen

Is bigger always better when it comes to the size of a man’s penis?

Many think so, in fact society has taught us that the bigger something is that men own, means that they are somehow more of a man. That the more a man has, the more worth he has as a human being. Bigger cars, houses, boats, more women, money, toys, etc… Giving a man higher status and thus increased worth to society. This is also the case when it comes to the size of a man’s penis, or so we are told.

Men are often ridiculed by women if their penis does not meet a certain length when erect. I’ve personally heard many women, on many occasions, discussing their ex-partners penises and making fun of how small, tiny, or thin they were. How fucking his pinky toe would have been more pleasurable, or how they literally laughed in the guy’s face when they saw it for the first time.

These women enjoy shaming those men amongst others and cackling over hot cups of coffee in public coffee shops where anyone nearby can clearly hear what they are talking about. In fact, they enjoy knowing that others are hearing them and that the men they are shaming are not just confined to their table.

It sounds disgusting doesn’t it? Well it is.

The message that a man’s penis somehow defines his worth has been beaten into us for so long that even parents of infant boys usually check the penis after he is born to make sure it looks proportional to his overall size. Making sure little Timmy’s penis is big enough is almost as important as making sure he has all ten fingers and toes, if not more important. In fact, Google “son has small penis” and you’ll see just how concerned (obsessed) parents, mostly mothers, are about the size of their son’s penises. And not just parents of infants, but parents of older children too. Well up into their teens for some of them.

This is just an example of how society has led us to believe that a small penis means a man is somehow worth less. Of course this can, and sadly often does, lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy when a man buys into this kind of bullshit and places the bulk of his worth on the size of his penis. More so if his parents make an issue of it as he is growing up. Not only does making an issue of it tell that boy that his parents place enormous value on something he has no control over, but that it is something to be utterly ashamed of and it needs to be hidden or fixed.

But what happens when too much importance is placed on the size of a man’s penis? When someone has bought into the whole idea that a man is only worth something if his penis is of a certain size?

According to news sources, an Indonesian woman recently drowned her nine-year-old son in the bath because she was worried that his “small penis” would affect his opportunities as a man in the future.

The 38-year-old woman from Jakarta, the capital of Indonesia, told the police that her son “already had a small penis prior to his being circumcised, but that it appeared to ‘shrink further’ after the operation.”

She told police investigators that she killed him because she determined “he would have a bleak future with his small penis.”

Police said the woman was “fully conscious of what she had done”, but police ordered a psychological test to “assess her mental condition.”

Is this woman suffering from a mental illness which led her to believe that the size of her son’s penis size would have affected his future so horribly that her only recourse was to murder him? Or is she just someone who completely bought into the bullshit that a man’s penis is the determining factor of his manhood? Of his worth as a human being? I tend to think it was the latter and not the former.

When society places so much worth on the size of a man’s penis it’s a wonder that more male children are not being inspected daily and then discarded like trash if they fail to measure up.

The truth is that the size of a man’s penis has nothing to do with his worth as a human being. But if we are raising our sons to believe in the bullshit that size is the determining factor of what their worth is, then we are creating a society that does not value men as individuals, but as walking penises. As being no more than a few inches of worth to the world.

When you do that, who is it that truly loses their worth as human beings?

-------

Finally an author who isn't male and kinda gets it....

[dvnJ22]

I agree with what she says. It's a shame that this is such a big deal. I don't have kallmans syndrome or a hormone disorder or even low t. Although i do wonder if i have growth hormone deficiency. this seems to be exactly how I am supposed to be. I don't think I need to change it or feel bad about it.

[bigmans_curse]

I am new to this thread, and given the anonymity here, I feel comfortable admitting that I was ”blessed” with a very girthy penis. Sorry, but having a big penis isn't that magical.after all. Guess what, you still have to deal with women's bullshit regardless. I don't it's having a big penis that makes you a player, I think it's having the ability to turn a woman's games back on her. The player with the average penis that can manipulate women emotionally wins 9 times out of 10 versus the guy with the big penis. Any women out there, please comment.

[Victimorthecrime]

"Any women out there, please comment."

Crickets.

There are very few women on the Internet. Women have better things to do like having a man pay for a night drinking & dancing & whatever else they want.

[malign]

Meh. I think it's more that the women on the internet don't usually seek out an SPS forum.

I'm interested about the parts of the long article that Jessie didn't highlight, such as this one:

Of course this can, and sadly often does, lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy when a man buys into this kind of bullshit and places the bulk of his worth on the size of his penis.

[Jessie]

its part of being human.

if women didnt place such importance on it I wouldnt be so unhappy.

If other guys were not so obsessed with it - I wouldnt be so unhappy.

They value it, so I value it.

If I'm honest, even if they didnt I would still value it to some extent- but their view influences mine as I am not a sociopath (a far as I know)

[malign]

But part of the point of the article, one written by a woman by the way, is that not all women, or all men, place such importance on it. You're entitled to, of course, and I understand some of the sources for why you feel that way. But in the long run, the "attaching importance to it" is a choice, to at least some extent.

Interestingly enough, your not being a sociopath (and you definitely aren't -- I don't know any funny sociopaths) doesn't seem to have allowed you to take up influences from, say, IrmaJean or myself ... Maybe (like with most people) there's greater weight given to views that agree with what you already believe?

[Jessie]

Well, with the exception of Cece, Irma and few others on here I don't know any women who don't think it matters.

I mean I dont know my moms or sisters precise views but of every girl I have ever heard discuss it, ever, they have been of the opinion its either important or very important.

...well apart from my 4th who swore it didnt matter but her diary said otherwise-

And the woman didnt quite say what you are saying anyway- she kida meant it was shame we thought that and that we shouldnt do that- but the fact is men and women do. Be it biology or culture or both- its a deal breaker.

a 21st century curse I suppose.

[malign]

Could that be because in general, people who don't think it's a big deal don't discuss it?

Jess, I've often wondered: How long did it take these women to figure out that it bothered them? How much effort, if any, did they put into trying to work around it? In other words, what responsibility did they take for making their relationship with you work?

Some people do think size matters. In what sense would the author think it would be "a shame" if she also thought it was the truth? If she thought it was the truth, she might suggest trying to discuss it in other terms, maybe. But instead, she says things like "But if we are raising our sons to believe in the bullshit that size is the determining factor of what their worth is ..." That doesn't sound like it's just a shame; it sounds like she thinks it's bullshit.

[Jessie]

fair enough about it not being the DETERMINING factor of a guys worth.

But you will notice she stopped short of saying size didnt matter in sex!

She skirted around that issue because its unresolvable.

Its more a case of sexual competency or sexual attractiveness shouldnt be the be all and end all.

And shes right- just because someone is ugly, disabled, low IQ, has small genitals etc doesnt make them worthless- hers is a noble humanitarian stance.

But it doesnt mean Im filtering or being biased in intrepretation though.

[Jessie]

Id rather not talk about what exes said and why they felt the way they did.

It would hurt me to re-live it and type it out and would damage the guys here more than any crappy clip. Sorry

And girls discuss this stuff all the time. Well a lot of the time anyway.

Ask any young guy if hes heard girls talk about it- I bet you he has- it sticks in the memory.

[siddiqui]

There are many reasons why people behave the way they do and feel attracted to the people that they do. Evolution and adaption may play a role in such choices, but there are so many other complex factors. We are complex beings. Life is complex. We are unlikely to ever have all of the answers. Maybe it helps to just be you?

In your original post, you describe physical aspects of yourself. What about personal qualities?

Physical attraction plays a major role. We are visual beings. Evolution made us that way. Yes there are other complex factors like establishing a dominant persona.

I'm not exactly masculine. Girls are turned off. The only personal quality I'm good at is studying. Not really getting me anywhere. And again I'm here to deal with the SPS issue. Not digress

Sure, physical attraction helps. So, do you have any data, other than your own opinion, of whether you're really not attractive? Not what do average women prefer in average men, but you, out in the world, being yourself?

I have seen girls falling for guys based purely on physical attraction. I've been rejected twice because I've been told "You're not in my league, you aren't that hot"

And I assume I don't have to give the objection again that you're not trying to mate with any peahens. Or is it that your own preference is for the showiest females, so you assume theirs is similar? Maybe it just means thinking some more about what you want out of life ...

An analogy is an analogy for a reason. To make it easier to understand. Comedy like that can only go a certain distance.

I've went back and read your first post. My advise to you would be the same as my advise to Jessie.

My first date with my wife was fixed up by a friends wife. My wife probably wouldn't have went out with me, and I know I would never have asked her out myself. But it helps to have an mutual friend vouching for both parties. I have no idea if my size (or lack thereof) was discussed before hand. I'd say yes, because she wasn't shocked or disappointed when we finally made love.

I've been rejected twice after being set up by mutual friends because I wasn't attractive. I was TOLD about it by the mutual friend

You never know where or when lightining will strike. Being outgoing, having some friends doesn't hurt at all.

So let's just stand here waiting for the 3rd lightening strike??

[Jessie]

"I don’t know what to do! I thought this was something that I could overlook in time but I have the most wonderful man any

woman could ask for I really do! He’s sweet, he’s kind and generous and treats me like a queen.

Don’t get me wrong we do have arguments and fight like any other couple but he’s very communicative and listens to whatever issue I may have. He’s understanding even though we might disagree he still at least tries to understand where I’m coming from and that’s hard to find so I’m really greatful for my man.

The issue I’m having with him is something that he can’t help. His penis is very small and I can’t even feel it when we have sex. The only time I climax is when I’m on top of him and I have to grind on him really hard and after it’s over my hips hurt really bad and I think I’m hurting him but he would never tell me if that was the case.

I feel bad because he says that he knows he’s not packing and will do whatever he needs to do to make me happy outside the bedroom but I’m used to men with some girth and length to them and it’s getting hard not to want more! I just turned 32 and my sex drive is insane and he just can’t keep up with me in the bedroom at all!

At first I was cool with his lack of size because he’s a good man but I’m missing the feeling of a well endowed man putting it on me and being sore the next day I really miss that and he can’t do that for me. What should I do because he’s a good man and I don’t want to lose him and he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please help…….."

from Bossip site. Poor Girl. Poor Guy. .... Poor me.

[Jessie]

drunk and truthful.

"2 and a half width". ...(thats double my width)

Im surprised they can go to the nearest half inch with such precision,

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

2.5 wide is going to be between 6.5-8 inches around. You should seriously know this enough to realize how absurd of a response that is. I mean the large porn stars aren't even this size. You need to stop seeking out such superficial material. You do this perpetually and it clearly is not helping. It's not helping yourself and it's definitely not helping others on this board. Personally, i laughed at the very response that made you depressed because of how ridiculous it was. Start being logical before you start losing sleep over such pointless banter.

In the grand scheme of things, dwelling on this issue on a regular basis (how you do) is pointless and it's time to focus on areas in which you are not 'handicapped' before you begin to seriously physically decay and ultimately decompose.