mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 good luck with interviews mts. knock 'em dead. break a leg. etc. etc..i've never used twitter either, and almost never for fb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 I called out today. Mental Health day. After this it will be 3 day week and I (hopefully) can survive that.Ironically caring about this stupid job is killing me. I need to care much less so I can relax, think clearly, and be in action.The bottom line is I have bills to pay!damn how much i despise bills. they never stop coming.and i know what you mean about needing to relax in order to be able to think clearly. sometimes the pressure is so incredible that i can't even think at all. not that when i'm allowed to think i'm able to miraculously solve everything, or even anything. it's simply impossible to solve or fix anything when god (or the universe for non-believers) keeps stonewalling your every single move, step, and attempt in any direction. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 I have this place I go to the in the woods. Noone ever goes there. There's a teepee made out of branches, and a mudpath goes around it in a circle then extends out slightly towards the green, murky swamps. It's kind of a spiritual place for me, and I walk around back and forth around the mudpath for hours sometimes to clear my head, or I listen to audiobooks, philosophy etc. When the night comes the coloured sky hits the treets and it's beautiful. It feels like I'm so far away from civilisation there, it's amazing and helps me to think.i wish i had such a place too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 i also like the idea of clearing my head, but at this point it's impossible to clear it without clearing all my outside problems first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 seems we're in the same boat mts.p.s., this is response to post # 234 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 Yes I agree mts, i too thank you guys for sharing your woes. What frustrates me most is that every time things get a little good for me and I start to feel decent, without fail from out of nowhere an avalanche will fall on me and I will be back in a world of misery. This has been the pattern of my whole life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 Yes I agree mts, i too thank you guys for sharing your woes. What frustrates me most is that every time things get a little good for me and I start to feel decent, without fail from out of nowhere an avalanche will fall on me and I will be back in a world of misery. This has been the pattern of my whole life.and as if "life" isn't crappy enough as it is, dealing with all the shit, what makes it so much worse is people blaming us for all our misfortunes and misery. i mean i can understand being responsible for some of the shitty things that have happened to me, but to be responsible for all of them? that's just unimaginable. when you apply the process of elimination to your life and to different situations, and you try (or for some cases, just consider) every possible way of dealing with each given occurrence, and every single one of them fails, in such instances (which are all instances for people like us, who at some point millions of years ago, drew the short straws, and were therefor condemned to an eternity of misery through no fault of our own), it's logically impossible to be responsible for the shitty outcomes, because the outcome would've been just as shitty (or eve shittier) no matter what "option" you went with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 Exactly. Most people are going around carrying a lot of fear. It may be buried deep but it's there. When they hear of misfortune befalling someone it is a defensive reaction to think "oh well he did X and Y and that's what caused the misfortune. I would never do X and Y so I am safe". mts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 10, 2015 Report Share Posted February 10, 2015 it could be a defensive reaction, or just plain stupidity and ignorance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --- Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --- Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 Wow that is real music. How ya holding up Klingsor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 Resolute, it seems like you understand this better than anyone I've else met. Can you post part 2? I am exhausted today, will try to lay it all out when I'm not dead tired.i thought you'd never ask. i'll post it.There are some real gems on Youtube. I don't have this recording in my collection, strangely. Absolute perfection: Beethoven, Karajan, and Gieseking. Thought I'd share, doubt that anyone cares besides me. Just found it.i'm sure some love these things, like victim above, mts perhaps, and dear old roger; but not me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 response to klingsor's deleted post #207 of this thread, part 2:- i mentioned how self-conscious i am around more attractive guys, but also women (the more attractive the worse it is) knowing that most of them have no physical attraction to me, hence no sexual interest. that (specially in the presence of very attractive women) makes me want to die so badly that i can taste it. now if these very attractive women's attractive partners were also present (specially if they're smooching or horsing around etc.), that feeling is multiplied by 100.- this is how i would describe what i feel about myself: a spirit of a very intelligent, observant, and manly man, with massive ambition and a kind heart, trapped in a body that is beyond useless, dysfunctional and unattractive. it seems very cruel to give someone a big brain and great ambition, then stick him with a junker vessel as a body, effectively rendering him ineffective. no matter how much i think, analyze, and do calculations and equations as to what possible point and wisdom could be behind this, i fail to see it. stupidity and ignorance truly are bliss. the more you know, sense, feel, and see, the lower your quality of life. add to that a crappy body and all-around shitty circumstances and you get absolute misery.- once you have exhausted all possibilities (logically, through the process of elimination. i'm sure some of you have noticed how heavily i rely on this particular technique) and concluded definitively that your opponent is no other than god himself {and of course you know with absolute certainty that god is truly invincible (as klingsor mentioned, aristotle calls him "the unmoved mover"; perhaps it's "the unmovable mover"? either way, you get the idea)} and there's no way you can defeat him (or "move" him, lol. the only "option" left is complete and final surrender.- i'm really tired of playing god's game, and i just want out, even if i must go to hell, i'll gladly jump in hell head first. anywhere but here, this miserable world. you talked about selling your soul to the devil in another forum, i'm willing to make a deal with the devil too at this point, though not without certain conditions and guarantees; he is the devil after all, and can't be trusted.that's it for now. i'll post further after your revised post, which i hope will be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 - Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --- Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --- Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 Same old fucking dried up shit. Over and over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted February 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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