mts Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 But you can never know if they really like you' date=' and sex with you. That's the problem.[/quote']I think you have to have faith in and believe in yourself as a person and know that you are okay as you are, no matter what others may think of you. Once you are able to do that, it puts you in a position to be able to trust in others. It also puts you in a position to give and receive love.John, your wife has chosen to be with you. Doesn't that choice indicate that you are "the one?" mts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Dvn-Thats tru of every single human interaction. So is that how you choose to approach the whole world, that you can never KNOW with absolute certainty what someone else is actually thinking?Especially your significant other? Trust seems like its pretty crucial to a successful loving relationship.... Way more critical than genital size.Well I would think having sex with me would be rather boring too be honest. I think I'll be pretty bad at it. Idk about loving relationships - they seem rather alien, and I don't think I've ever seen one. I'm sure they are out there though. I feel if my penis was bigger I could find one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 I think you have to have faith in and believe in yourself as a person and know that you are okay as you are, no matter what others may think of you. Once you are able to do that, it puts you in a position to be able to trust in others. It also puts you in a position to give and receive love.Well I've always been very shrewd about who I trust, I don't think I really trust anyone - especially myself. So this is a new concept, love yourself, trust yourself - when all I want to do is change myself. I don't think I'm ok, my body should be different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 -- Perseverance 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Are you still married?Yes. Cut the sex out of the middle of our relationship and we're very happily married.I think you have to have faith in and believe in yourself as a person and know that you are okay as you are, no matter what others may think of you. Once you are able to do that, it puts you in a position to be able to trust in others. It also puts you in a position to give and receive love.John, your wife has chosen to be with you. Doesn't that choice indicate that you are "the one?"I know she loves me a lot. I know she thinks I'm the best husband and father for her kids she could have. But I progressed to the point I knew she didn't marry me for my bedroom abilities. Probably more like despite them. I am the one emotionally, just not sexually.She settled.I'll also point out it's not like she's trying to drag me into the bedroom or harping on me in sexual frustration. She seems to be fine with me mothballing my 'chapstick' and storing it away.I'm sorry I get down about this, I really try to keep my yap shut unless I can add something positive.I really do have a beautiful, outgoing intelligent wife whom I care about deeply. If I didn't, I wouldn't give a sh-t how she views me or what she feels. I'd just enjoy myself, worry about my pleasure and not be concerned about her at all. I can't. I promised to love, honor and cherish her. I always have, I always will. I don't give my word lightly, I take my vows seriously.I won't post in this thread anymore. No one is going to change any minds anytime soon. Why waste band width. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Your penis is one piece of the 'good sex' puzzle. Theres like 10 other pieces. But cus your so focused on the 1 piece...... your going to neglect your fully loaded arsenal.Can you please name some other pieces to sex other than PIV? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Yes. Cut the sex out of the middle of our relationship and we're very happily married.Are you sure she is happy? I don't want to make any accusations, but aren't you afriad she will cheat on you?Also what is your erect size? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'll answer a direct question. I don't think she's cheating. She shows no signs at all. She's always exactly where she says she is. And I really don't think she capable of keeping anything to her self at all. She tells her small group of friends everything. She just doesn't act distant, mad, put off, surly. She was very excited to get her Christmas gift...hugged me kissed me thanked me....it wasn't much at all.4.5 long 4 circum. dvnJ22 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 10, 2014 Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) Perse, if I were to answer your question with my personal views my post could get very lengthy and I'm not sure that would be helpful. I do believe that many factors play a role in just about everything. Each person finds different things meaningful. I do wonder if some of you are viewing things through your own lenses and expecting that others view things the same way when that isn't the case.I know she loves me a lot. I know she thinks I'm the best husband and father for her kids she could have. But I progressed to the point I knew she didn't marry me for my bedroom abilities. Probably more like despite them. I am the one emotionally, just not sexually. She settled.Did she tell you she settled or are you possibly viewing her behaviors through your perception of how things work? I hope maybe you will consider talking things over with her. I understand this may feel frightening, but there is really no way to know what she is thinking, how she feels, or the why's unless you talk with her.I wish you well, John. Edited January 10, 2014 by IrmaJean rewording Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted January 10, 2014 Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 I'll answer a direct question. I don't think she's cheating. She shows no signs at all. She's always exactly where she says she is. And I really don't think she capable of keeping anything to her self at all. She tells her small group of friends everything. She just doesn't act distant, mad, put off, surly. She was very excited to get her Christmas gift...hugged me kissed me thanked me....it wasn't much at all.4.5 long 4 circum.I don't know man, don't you think your being too extreme? I mean has she ever said anything about you being too small? Or settling with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted January 10, 2014 Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 Did she tell you she settled or are you possibly viewing her behaviors through your perception of how things work? I hope maybe you will consider talking things over with her. I understand this may feel frightening, but there is really no way to know what she is thinking, how she feels, or the why's unless you talk with her.I wish you well, John.I don't know man, don't you think your being too extreme? I mean has she ever said anything about you being too small? Or settling with you?Of course she has never said anything about settling with me. You wouldn't do that to someone you love. You keep quiet, grin and bear it.We live in a small town, we had (and still have) many mutual friends. I'd heard about some of her comments and reactions before we got serious.Before we had our first date a friend of mine and I were having breakfast. He asked if anything happened over the weekend. I said yeah, I was taking Sarah M------- out that weekend. His eyes got big and he asked how I rated that. Then he said "You know who she's been with?" I sighed and said No, who? He popped out a name. I just shook my head.A local stud. Well hung, smooth, drove a very nice car and had money. He had a reputation, he and my friend were close friends themselves. Of course my friend had to give a detailed account of what happened.He said one of the things the guy had told him was how he really enjoyed the way she "gasped, moaned and caught her breath as he was pouring it to her."I didn't think much about this. We'd never even been out yet, and I had no intention of there being a second date.Flash to years later. I'd asked her why she was so quiet during sex. She said because of the kids. I said No, you were this way even before kids. She finally shrugged and said she just wasn't very verbal she guessed.I enjoyed giving her foot rubs. She loved getting them. One night she was sitting back on the couch, and as I was rubbing her feet she was oooohing and aahhhhing and generally seemed to be having a mini-orgasm. I thought Wow, I wish I could get a response like this in be.....about halfway through thinking bed that whole conversation my friend and me had came crashing back into my head.I thought God, she really Does get excited when something is really feeling good to her. That was probably 15 years ago. I haven't been able to bring myself to give her a foot rub since.I got gasping and thrashing from a foot rub, other guys got gasping and thrashing in bed. Sad........ Jessie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophia Posted January 10, 2014 Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 you know your relationship with your wife best, and I want to make it clear that I am not presuming to know better or anything, but I just wanted to share something related to this. I am very noisy and very very vocal when I'm getting an orgasm, and while I enjoy intercourse and it feels amazing, I am not at all verbal during it. its more quiet and intense or smiley and stimulated, and I channel that energy in another way, and its not usually verbal. maybe the sensation is different and the reaction is different? granted, this doesn't line up with the story your friend told you but it could have been a bit of an exaggeration and it was a long time ago? I don't know, its just that a thought Jessie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisZ Posted January 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 Well, It is nice to hear that there are a few here that actually are having sex and enjoying orgasms with their partners!Maybe some day I will write about my experiences along with you. BTW: My right hand is very quiet. He has never made a sound during or after sex. What's up with him? Now my left hand has caught his problem too! Jessie, JaiJai and LouisZ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wutty3 Posted January 10, 2014 Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 >>>>>My right hand is very quiet. He has never made a sound during or after sex. What's up with him? Now my left hand has caught his problem too! <<<<<Ya know something? I've noticed the same thing about my hands as well...nary a peep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted January 10, 2014 Report Share Posted January 10, 2014 Don't worry you're not the only one. I give my gf massages all the time. Back, hands and feet. Sometimes I think to myself "wow she looks like she enjoys this more than sex" I get the ohh and ahhs to but not when my dick is inside her. I almost want to get a big dildo to use on her to see what happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted January 11, 2014 Report Share Posted January 11, 2014 … i think my hands may be cheating on me ….. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted January 11, 2014 Report Share Posted January 11, 2014 Don't worry you're not the only one. I give my gf massages all the time. Back, hands and feet. Sometimes I think to myself "wow she looks like she enjoys this more than sex" I get the ohh and ahhs to but not when my dick is inside her.I almost want to get a big dildo to use on her to see what happens.only do this if you are prepared for the reaction… the extra length and girth will likely have a strong effect on her.You may find this erotic, on the other hand it may break your heart… tread carefully here…. gone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophia Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 only do this if you are prepared for the reaction… the extra length and girth will likely have a strong effect on her.You may find this erotic, on the other hand it may break your heart… tread carefully here….i think using a dildo on a woman is a bad idea. for me, my fiance has used it on me and I just really hate it because since a man is controlling it with his hand and not his penis (so he's not reaching a climax), it can be uncomfortable because it can just keep going, the rhythm can be really off and unnatural and you don't feel the pressure from the thrust of a man's body (which I love). feel like its better for women to use on themselves. i know thats not the issue, but just chiming in. also, like i said earlier, if a woman moans at a foot rub and not during intercourse, it doesn't necessarily mean she enjoys foot rubs more than sex , it means its a different sensation and therefore manifesting in a different reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 i think using a dildo on a woman is a bad idea. for me, my fiance has used it on me and I just really hate it because since a man is controlling it with his hand and not his penis (so he's not reaching a climax), it can be uncomfortable because it can just keep going, the rhythm can be really off and unnatural and you don't feel the pressure from the thrust of a man's body (which I love). feel like its better for women to use on themselves. i know thats not the issue, but just chiming in. also, like i said earlier, if a woman moans at a foot rub and not during intercourse, it doesn't necessarily mean she enjoys foot rubs more than sex , it means its a different sensation and therefore manifesting in a different reaction.Right. But if she gasps and moans during intercourse with one guy, and gasps and moans and really enjoys a foot rub with another guy, but lays quietly and patiently during sex with the second guy, you can't help but to draw a few conclusions...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophia Posted January 15, 2014 Report Share Posted January 15, 2014 Right. But if she gasps and moans during intercourse with one guy, and gasps and moans and really enjoys a foot rub with another guy, but lays quietly and patiently during sex with the second guy, you can't help but to draw a few conclusions......yes you're right, but I just don't think its a reason to get down on yourself necessarily because the first guy's story is based off of hearsay. i just think that might be a tall tale, and may be a combination of other factors- passionate fling, something new, youthful verve, etc. I mean, when you've been in a relationship for a long time, sex takes on a routine and may not provoke the same reactions is all I'm saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted January 16, 2014 Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 yes you're right, but I just don't think its a reason to get down on yourself necessarily because the first guy's story is based off of hearsay. i just think that might be a tall tale, and may be a combination of other factors- passionate fling, something new, youthful verve, etc. I mean, when you've been in a relationship for a long time, sex takes on a routine and may not provoke the same reactions is all I'm saying.Yeahhhh, but she should have felt the same about her first times with me? NO? I can understand how things cool off after 10 or 15 years. I've NEVER had these responces.Any way I slice it, her reactions with another guy was more intense than with me. (Unless of course we're talking foot rubs instead of sex.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted January 17, 2014 Report Share Posted January 17, 2014 Maybe an adjunct to this line of thought is that perhaps all this free love, hook up culture premarital sex is not such a good foundation to build a marriage on. It seems that it can breed distrust & resentment. I have never been married, I am judging by what I hear & read. gone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gone Posted January 17, 2014 Report Share Posted January 17, 2014 I've kinda thought along the same lines. The more guys she's had the better the odds she's already had her 'best one'. That's a hell of a thought for a future spouse.I've read 9 or 10 relationship books trying to understand all this a little better. One of the books had quotes at the beginning of each chapter, along with the original source. I've never been able to get one of those quotes out of my head."With the advent of todays sexual revolution, what society in general and men in particular have to come to terms with is the fact many young women today will have the best sex of their lives before marriage." Helen Girly Brown in a mid 60s Playboy interview.I'd change that to read "before they meet their husbands." This sh-t matters to a guy. Like I said before, I don't have to be her first, or her biggest or her craziest, just her best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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