Self

[mts]

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[LaLa]

I don't know. I avoid such talks, too.  

And sometimes even months (of avoidance) can make it too difficult. This is a strange coincidence; today, I should have such a talk (I'm not sure I won't be a coward and avoid it once again). 

I think people get angry and/or disappointed when you forget something (like confirm an appointment), but it's probably isn't as bad as you imagine. They'll deal with their feelings and after some time, it will be OK, mainly if you proof on a new occasion that you don't "do the same each time".

Good luck!

[Resolute]

3 hours ago, mts said:

I bought a dictionary of proverbs for £1.49. Dictionaries and large well organized volumes, are the best books to buy physical copies of.

how so?

i like that emoticon btw. you use some nice ones.

[mts]

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[IrmaJean]

I would imagine many of us feel afraid to be seen and known, on some level. Possibly there was a time when we showed ourselves openly to someone and we weren't taken care of in our vulnerability and so now it doesn't feel safe. Or possibly we don't feel okay with who we are and so we want to hide ourselves. I don’t know if any of that fits for you or not. For me, though I do feel a want and need to be seen and known, I feel afraid too at times. You aren't alone in your fears, mts. It's not easy being human.

I struggle to bring up difficult topics of conversation too. I often have to pep talk myself in order to do it and I have a difficult time expressing myself verbally and being assertive when necessary. It does help me to approach someone in a neutral environment where I feel comfortable. Maybe tell the person that something has been weighing on your mind and you'd like to talk about it? Easier said than done for sure.

(I added a few emoticons.)

Take care, mts.

[IrmaJean]

We cross-posted. I'm a slow typist...

Good for you, mts!  

[mts]

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[Klingsor]

On 10/15/2016 at 4:15 PM, mts said:

I bought the "dictionary of american idioms" book today, it's arranged by topic, 350 pages worth of idioms.

Have you developed any favorites yet? 

[IrmaJean]

I think it's true that some have dealt with and do deal with much more than the lack of sensitive care from others during times of vulnerability... abuse situations come to mind and the emotional trauma from that can be significant. I had not heard of scopophobia, no.

I mention that it's very human to struggle because I do feel that we all struggle in some way. My hope is that the knowledge of this can be something that draws us together in understanding rather than be something that makes us feel as if we don't belong. This is something that affects you and the quality of your life, your level of functioning, so I think it's good that you are trying to make positive changes. I do hope you are being gentle with yourself, though. 

Take care, mts.

[mts]

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[Klingsor]

Not really. I did hear one in a British sitcom once, the character said, "Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs" as a statement of surprise. I looked it up and it is described as being a "northern" expression. It was funny because it sounded like something my grandparents would say. 

I doubt there is really anything interesting in idioms. Talking exhausts me. 

[mts]

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[jazz]

mts, it sounds like you are pushing your boundaries in a really positive way, it must be hard work. Hope you are feeling better soon.

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[mts]

Thanks @jazz And my best wishes to you too. 

[IrmaJean]

I'm here reading and listening, mts. I agree with jazz...You are taking action. You are working hard to make positive change and you are challenging your comfort zone. This is difficult work. I hope you can stand by yourself through this and give yourself some credit.

I hope your ear infection clears up soon. That sounds painful.

Possibly as you feel better, the light in your eyes will shine brighter again. Sometimes our souls need nurturing, I think.

Have a good weekend. Take care.