Well, I don't have anything major for today, but it's my 101st blog entry. So I thought I would use the opportunity to promote the concept of blogging. I find it useful in a couple of ways. First, it helps you vent stuff in a slightly less public way than posting in a forum. There, it's almost like a request for a response. Here, even if you allow comments, they're more ... conversational. Second, it gives you a single place to go back to, to see what was happening to you weeks or months in t
Ah well, me and weekends. We do not get along. I start out with a big buildup. By Friday, I had made plans to call a friend Saturday night, to take my Dad to his church on Sunday, and to meet with my wife for the first time in a couple of weeks later that afternoon. For Saturday, I was thinking about a day-trip to go bird-watching. I even set my clock to wake me up early. Plans like that always decay on me. First, I decide not to wake up so early. Then I wake up and have breakfast, and lie
Yannick, Tse, j't'aime bien pis en ce moment peut-etre que c'est moi qui veut aller trop vite mais Ya plein de choses qui me chicotte quan d je rentre a la maison apres qu'on s'est vu. La premiere c'est pourquoi on a pas plus de sex? Moi j'aurais le gout d'avoir beaucoup de sex en ce moment. J'ai vraiment de la misere a me dire que ca va aller en augmentant. J'aimerais faire l'amour avec toi deux trois fois par jour. Je sais pas si je vais me bruler ou quoi mais c'est comme ca. La deuxieme cho
hmmmm. and re-hmmmm. Is he interested, not interested? Well, maybe we'll never know. Today, we were supposed to go to the lake but he just called to cancel. Well, I suppose he has a good reason, but he was all cold at the end of the line. There was an evacuation notice on his door this morning. And so, he's on the stand by until who knows he said, to make sure he can get his stuff out of the house if push comes to shove. Fair enough. Maybe I am insensitive but I would truly prefer if he would h
no hang ups: I want a guy who has no hang ups that are triggering me: meaning, not thinking that religion is all bad...like Y. Or that he hates jealous girls... that he needs 'space', or that he is unable to sleep with someone... or that he doesn't 'believe' in marriage. or that he can't have children ever...If he doesn't want to have children... maybe, but if the hang up is very full on and there's absolutely no way. then it's kind of fucked. I mean, this is a reality of life, that, one mig
Welllll, today has been a looooooong day!!!!!!! I've been up and down all day again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I realized something today. . . . . I'm like a modern cuckoo clock!!!!!!!!!!! I feel very happy right now but I can feel it starting to wear off because it's happiness out of a bottle. there's a little bit of lonliness starting to kick in right now I think. and also a headache... oops!!! everything is so quiet again and a little scary...................... but I still feel a little fizzy too!!!
One of my friends here told me that she hates her real name, because it's "too common", so she wants to change it to something unique. This made me a bit sad, because I see it working the other way around. My own name is Mark, but it's my middle name. My parents decided early on not to use my first name, Alexander, mostly because they couldn't decide what nickname to call me. I didn't say it was a good reason, ;-) but I've always been called Mark as a result. This didn't sit well with my wi
oh dear. Now I am on to the 'so bored and lonely' title. Yeah. that pretty much describes it. I don't know what to do with myself. It's beautiful outside but I am truly, bored. By myself. I called a friend but no answer. The idea of touching my pottery is just leaving me 'meh'. I just want to be with people or something. Slept the day away. Another bout of i don't know what.
what's good about y his caresses talking to him his kisses meeting some of his friends bad about y not enough sex not enough holding at night not knowing leaving me hanging not much same interest not meeting his main friends being in the closet a bit
Well, I know I left y'all hanging a little bit last time. That was partly because I didn't know very much more than what I wrote: decisions made in the past weren't standing up to the changes going on inside me. I'm afraid that to some extent, your disappointment will have to continue, since a complete set of answers has not yet presented itself. ;-) In some sense, that's okay: I don't expect a full set of answers to life's questions until it's finally over. I would rather like to know wha
As I wrote and re-wrote all my lil life experiences and choices, there was a few things that became apparent. 1. when I was a kid. At a very young age, I remember realizing that I was angry at my dad. That I disrespected him, loathed him and saw him as a weak, pathetic 'self-proclaimed victim' who was in fact the aggressor. So very early on, I said to myself 'I have a reason to be angry, it is justified'. At that time, it was one of the solutions in order for me not to feel like I was going cra
My mood keeps going up^ and down, up and down, up and down............. I wish it would make it's mind up whether to stay happy or sad...!! because it's kinda exhausting feeling both.....:confused:
Wow, I thought I had everything straight, about what I wanted out of the divorce. We were going to try to fix up the house, gradually, and try to sell it as the market improved. There was no hurry; where was I going to go, anyway? Hah. That's all out the window, now. (Okay, this is short because of the time. I'll ponder on it some more tomorrow.)
Now I am on to the 7 critical choices I made in my life. 1. Making the choice to start Design. 2. Why did you make it? [what needs survival, security, self-esteem, love, self-expression, intellectual fulfillment, spiritual fulfillment] I was tired of not doing anything in my life that was not in line with my talent. I felt like I had nothing to lose as I was already only making about 12$ /h. A large part of this choice was a need to be respected by others as an adult. 3. What alternatives did
Yep, it's an early entry into the old bloggy; I realized I forgot yesterday. I may be a bit busier over the next two days at work. I'm trying to get Monday off so I can have a long weekend. In fact, I'm really excited about going somewhere this weekend, but it's a secret where. Yes, I know; this is just going to get me besieged with questions, but my seals are lipped. Yes, even if you tickle me. Perhaps I'm just trying to get tickled. But I'm in a bit of a whirl, trying to get everything s
Now that my name has finally been changed to blossom, I feel more invisible than ever. maybe I should change it back. I just want to say sorry to everyone. I know I'm a pain in the ass and I don't mean to be..I wish I wasn't so whiny and stupid all the time and I wish I could offer ye more support, When I think about it now, I definitely don't deserve to have such great freinds as ye, I don't even deserve to be alive. All I ever do is bring others down with me and that's not fair for them. I d
Last night, as we were about to sleep, Baby Girl said, "I love you" to me for the first time. And Daddy was still awake to hear it. We exchanged a few more "I love you's" before we fell asleep.
I just wanted to inform you all that I think 'finding my way' is contagious. No, not swine flu. She has been teaching me to draw, indirectly, using a book called "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain". It's fascinating. Not all of the author's theories, necessarily. I think those are mostly given so that adult readers will suspend disbelief long enough to try the exercises. I, for one, went into this denying that I had any skill at all at drawing. I've tried, half-heartedly, on my own, an
I was just over in my cousin's house and I never really noticed until now how well she gets on with her mother(my mother's sister). Unlike me, she's able to sit down with her's and talk about stuff and they ask each other how their days went and that made me a little sad because I wish I was close enough to someone to be able to do that. With my mother it's just really awkward and everything I say is stupid to her and she shouts at me a lot to tell me to shut up!! I wish we got on better because
OMG. I don't know. Y's points are going way down now. He called me today saying he wanted to get together tonight. He called me again at 7pm saying he was trying to get organized, but he had to give a lift back from his beautiful boat ride I didn't get to go on, to 'someone'. Now, I got a text saying 'fell asleep on the couch. Better get other plans.' Dang right! And I am not f* calling you again mofo till you get you stuff straight. I am so mad and sad. I want to go out alone now in spite. it's
Ok, it's Saturday and. I have no plans. I can't see my 4 friends that I usually see. M-ski is in Calgary. A is in Oregon. Mark is in Vegas, and R, well she's at home but with her stupid boyfriend. And the guy I am seeing didn't make any allusions what so ever to getting with me this weekend. I am a bit sad. I don't really want to call him up: "hey, hello, I am lonely and needy right now, can I see you, because I have nothing going on in my life." Yesterday, I went to this house/pool party with
Everyone's gone now. It feels so empty and I'm so stupid I can't stop crying. I hate being on my own. I know it probably doesn't seem like a big deal but it is to me. :( They've been gone like 10 minutes... that's all and I feel lonely already.
